Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV Oh, my.
- Here we go, y'all! - Zoidberg, Zoidberg.
Zoidberg.
This is a story about all my friends.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Previously on AII My Circuits: I'm sorry, Father.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son.
- Why, Antonio? - Because I have amnesia! - Calculon! But I thought you were- - Egyptian? Before I kill you, I must ask you one question: Who am I? For I have Amnesia! Let me get this straight.
Does anyone here not have amnesia? - Not sure.
- I don't know.
This show is awesome! When I grow up, I'm gonna have so much amnesia.
Me too! I mean, I have it now.
But I forgot.
- Well, mine's louder! - Cram a ham in it, you twerps! - Sorry.
- I had it coming.
Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous! Nude rock bands, big piles of what I assume is talcum powder.
It's quite a birthday party, Calculon.
CooI! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon! Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna show up looking good just like Monique.
Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV? We're 12.
So, yes.
Hold up, Cubert.
You're a clone of the professor.
Do clones even have birthdays? Duh.
Duh what? Dad? Do I have a birthday? Hmm.
You didn't have a birth, so technically, no.
- Hmm.
Oh, don't feeI bad.
We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank.
Or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back.
- That one! - Yes.
It was 13 years ago next week.
I used this very fork.
Oh, well, isn't that- Hey.
Next week'll be my birthday too! That's true! If only there were a way to have one party for both of you here at the office, then write it off as a business expense.
Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said! - Yeah! - Way to go, Pops! Something's happening on television! oh, Monique.
Why did we wait so many years to bathe in champagne? Father! I've discovered the shocking secret Mother has kept from you for 200 years! No! No! Brace yourself, for when I speak these words you may well suffer an attack of explosive amnesia! For you see, the horrible secret is- Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense! He's busteds.
Let's get hims out of heres.
We now join America's most popular show in progress: Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad! This show's been going downhill since season three.
Look who's here, everyone! It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp! Since when are you performing at children's parties? Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes? - This party pukes.
- Yeah! The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago.
Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are totaI losers.
Who gave you that idea? All right! They must've all come as a group! Welcome, swingers! Pull up a groove and get fabulous! Huh? Good day, fellows.
Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup.
Happy growth-scraping day to all! fire them all.
Guys.
Guys.
Something's happening on television again! Welcome to Entertainment and Earth Invasion Tonite.
Across the galaxy my people are completing a mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race! But first, this news from Tinsel Town.
Following Antonio Calculon Jr.
's breakdown on the set the popular TV show AII My Circuits will hold an open casting call for child robots to replace him.
An open casting call for child robots? Tinny Tim! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - What's that, sir? - That I, Bender, am perfect for the role! You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir.
Bravo! Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far.
There's a lot of famous child acting units here.
Look, there's Macaulay Culkon! He's just not cute since he got puberty installed.
There's that robot child actor who grew up and robbed the convenience store.
And there's that robot child actor who grew up and became a convenience store.
Lottery ticket, please.
We're ready for the first audition.
"Emote-atron Jr.
"? Hold on, precious.
Let's make you look nice for the lady.
What's this? What did I tell you? No more hanging wires! In this scene, you've just found out your reaI father is Calculon's fourth eviI identicaI septuplet, Sleazy Martinez.
Okay? Take us there! Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz! Boo! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo! Well, I thought he was good, but the audience seems to have turned on him.
- But I don't think- - Next! - at Veracruz.
So if you'll kindly hand me my poncho- Boo! Bring on Bender! Boo! Bender's the greatest! Sorry, kid.
You're flailing up there.
Ninety actors and they all got booed.
I just wish we could get this Bender I keep hearing about.
They say he's the greatest.
Well, there is a robot named Bender here, but he's much too old for- Send him in forthwith! Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo! Mr.
Bender? - Have you ever been on TV before? - Once, when I took those hostages.
I saw that.
You were good.
Let's hear you audition.
"Bandidos"? Oh, this is great.
Because I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent.
I will see.
Adiós, Padre.
Come, Jesus, my faithfuI chihuahua.
Tonight we eat guacamole by the El Rio! That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are, you will never work on my show! Yay, Bender! We demand Bender! However, you've got the job.
Welcome aboard, son! Father-O! I'd like you to meet our director, whose name I never learned.
Yo.
I read the script, and I think it would help my character's motivation - if he was on fire.
- Don't worry about the script, baby.
We rewrote your part to suit your acting abilities.
So now my character has a British accent? No, now your character's in a coma.
Get in bed and don't move.
And action! Stupid dumb coma.
I could've been British.
Alas that mine only son should sink into an irreversible, permanent coma.
Permanent? That's completely out of character for Antonio.
I'm getting up.
Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that- Hey, everyone! Antonio here, but you can call me Bender! I got ants in my butt and I needs to strut! Come on, baby! Come on! I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Bite my shiny metaI ass! Yeah! Come on, baby, yeah.
Come on, yeah! Cut! That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen.
We'll have to shoot it again.
No.
No, no, no.
I don't do two takes.
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