Oh.
Where's the Professor? Probably dead.
Already dissolving in a bathtub, if we're lucky.
I was out on the widow's walk keeping a hopeless vigil for the return of my first delivery crew.
It's been 50 years since they disappeared.
I knew you had other crews, but you never told us you had a first crew.
I remember it like it was interesting.
I had just built my new shipping and receiving emporium, and I scoured the hardware store parking lot to assemble the finest crew imaginable.
There was Candy, the raunchy by-the-books navigator, Lifter, the devastatingly handsome forklift, and Captain Lando Tucker, a dedicated young man with no characteristics.
We'll deliver that package or die trying.
Hey, it's all my favorite patients.
And also Captain Tucker.
Pow! Whoa! You totally got me, Dr.
John.
You're hilarious.
Zoidberg was popular? Zoidberg had hair? I never said he had hair! If you chose to imagine him that way, that's your business.
Anyway, the time came for our first delivery.
Lando, don't forget about me and Junior.
I won't, honey.
Or die trying.
Well, crew, this is it.
That cookie bouquet isn't going to deliver itself.
Ten, nine and so on Three, two, one Go, you big metal bird.
Get up there.
Incredible! Zoidberg had friends? It was a different time.
Everything was going smoothly until right after that part I was just telling you about.
Suddenly, Amanda's aunt called to say her niece hadn't received her cookie bouquet.
I watched the skies for weeks, with only occasional breaks to tend to my grief diarrhea.
Just when all hope was lost The ship's escape pod! What happened up there, Johnny? Don't make me remember.
So horrible it was.
I thought you said he didn't have hair.
Yes, but something he saw on that mission traumatized him so severely, he grew hair, just so it could turn white.
Sadly, my brave crew was gone forever.
That poor incompetent crew.
What do you think happened, Professor? They were lost in the Bermuda Tetrahedron.
That's ridiculous.
The Bermuda Tetrahedron is just a myth.
I'm glad you're so brave in the face of the unknown, Leela, because, for your next mission, you'll be flying directly through the Bermuda Tetrahedron! Or we could fly around it.
Of course you could.
You'd be stupid not to.
Supposing we're not stupid.
What kind of stupid mission is this? You'll be picking up a monument commemorating my lost crew, to be unveiled Tuesday at their memorial ceremony.
All the grieving families will be there, plus a Popsicle cart.
You can count on us, Professor.
We'll get that monument here in time Hooray! or die trying.
What? Here you go.
"In memory of the first Planet Express ship and its crew.
" Hang on.
"It's" shouldn't have an apostrophe.
This means "and it is crew.
" What the hell's wrong with you? It's a minor error, lady.
I mean, we're space aliens.
It's a miracle we can even speak English.
The miracle is that I'm not kicklng your ass.
I insist you re-carve the entire statue correctly.
Okay, okay.
Hey, Charlie, hack off another block of ivory! Well, the statue's perfect now.
Too bad we won't make it back in time for the memorial service.
We'll make it.
Or die trying.
Ah! We're cutting through the Bermuda Tetrahedron! Whoo-hoo! Wait, the Bermuda Tetrahedron? I think I'm remembering that thing I forgot.
The dials are terrified.
Brace yourselves.
It's Tickle Me Elmo's Fire.
There.
See? It was no big thing.
What was that big thing? It's a spaceship graveyard.
Why did we have to come here at night? Look at all these famous lost ships.
There's the Garmin! And the TomTom! Over there! It's the original Planet Express ship! What caused all that damage? Could it have been flavor-blasted? We'd better investigate.
Looks like an ion storm, though.
Everyone, suit up! Whatever happened here, that first crew left in a hurry.
The table is still set for a McDonald's Value Dinner.
I remember, I remember! This is what traumatized me.
Such a meal to go to waste! And with that I have closure.
Hey, Zoidberg, you're cockatieling.
Oh, no.
Something's happening.
What's happening? Oh, right.
And there was a giant killer space whale.
Holy crap, it's a giant space fish! Actually, the space whale isn't a space fish.
It's a space mammal.
Wow, interesting.
I'm both impressed and being eaten.
Spacewalk, people! Spacewalk for your lives! Man, look at him go.
Like a millionaire on a cocktail wiener.
I did it.
I outran hlm.
Relax, friends.
Panic, jerks! That's no ordinary space whale! It's a four-dimensional space whale! Of course! And it only breaches into our 3-D universe to hunt and fill its lungs with vacuum.
Whatever its beef is, our one mission now is to get that monument to Earth.
Our one mission now is to avenge the loss of that monument.
Shmeesh! He gonked off the engines.
That won't stop me.
Raise the solar sails! I'm going after that MÃ bius Dick! You've been hitting the Red Stripe, woman! Comport yourself, Mr.
Conrad! When we're at space, the captain's word is law.
I could marry you and Bender against your wlll, if I wanted to.
You wouldn't dare! I've been married to worse.
Leela, I'm no doctor, but I'm afraid you be exhibiting symptoms of illin'.
You're risking all our lives for your own personal obsession.
There's nothing personal about this.
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