Ok people, P.
J.
's birthday is this Saturday.
And everyone needs to buy him a present.
And by everyone, I mean Gabe.
And by "buy him a present", she means actually purchase one.
Not borrow or steal it.
Why are you guys peeking on me.
I always get P.
J.
a present.
Last year, you wrapped up one of his shirts and gave it to him.
And he loved it.
I can't believe my baby boy is turning 18.
Hey guys, what're you talking about? Nothing! What are you whistling about? My birthday.
That's for sure.
Hey P.
J.
, how would you like a pair of pants exactly like those? Oh man! Teddy.
Are you ok? I'm just bummed out that I have to kiss Spencer.
Your ex-boyfriend Spencer? The one who cheated on you? No, dad, the other Spencer in my life.
Well, why would you want to kiss that guy? Because I need a car.
Tell him more.
He's lost.
Ok, I've got a new job at Super Adventure Land.
I have to play the princess, princess has to kiss to frog and the frog is Spencer.
Teddy honey, I feel for you.
I know how uncomfortable it is to kiss your ex.
I remember this one time in college Today's all burnt toast Running late, and dad jokes Has anybody seen my left shoe I close my eyes, take a bite Grab a ride, laugh out loud There it is up on the roof I've been there, I've survived So just take my advice Hang in there, baby Things are crazy But I know your future's bright Hang in there, baby There's no maybe Everything turns out all right Your life is up and down But trust me it comes back around You're gonna love who you turn out to be Hang in there, baby.
Charlie, did you do something with daddy's can? No daddy.
Well did you see where it went? It's a secret.
Well, do you want to tell daddy the secret? Gabe.
That's why you are my favorite.
Gabe.
Did you just steal my can.
Can? I don't know anything about the can.
Step away from the cabin.
No, no, dad.
- Come on.
- Dad, I really don't think you want to do that.
What's going on? I'm recycling.
- No kid.
- Yeah.
I'm I'm concerned about the environment.
I'm gonna be on this planet for a really long time.
Now you, you've got nothing to worry about.
So, all this sudden interest in recycling has nothing to do with the fact that maybe You think you can make a little money off it.
Ahh, is that right? I did not know that.
Well, here's something else you don't seem to know, In the state of Colorado, they don't give you money for aluminum cans.
Oh, yeah, I knew that.
Oh, dad, by the way, can you give me a ride? Sure, where to? Kansas.
Hey mom, guess what? I join Spanish club.
Is it about taking a school trip or meeting girls.
It's about taking a trip with girls or as we say in Spanish: con-girls.
Anyway I may need a passport to go to Mexico so I need my birth certificate.
- You need your birth certificate.
- Yes.
You got it, right? Yeah It's It's in my files.
I will take it out for you.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, no problem.
Bob, it finally happened.
P.
J.
wants to see his birth certificate.
We knew this day would come.
Oh, stop whimpering and man up! Hey! Hey.
So, today is the day of the big kiss.
Huh? Yeah, it's so.
You look great in that outfit.
Oh, I know.
I mean thanks.
Look! Spencer, there is no reason why it has to be awkward.
Well It's not you and I kissing.
It's just our characters.
I mean we're professionals.
Right? Eh, you are right.
I'm as professional as a guy in Frog suit making minimum wage it can be.
Well, that's our cue.
See you out there.
And when their joyous dance came to an end.
The prince and the princess seal their love with a kiss.
Wait, Teddy.
And the prince and the princess walk off together and live happily ever after.
Bob, you had 18 years to change P.
J.
's birth certificate.
Why didn't you? For once, can we not play the blaming game.
It's the only game we know.
Ok, look.
There is a there is a very simple solution.
We'll just tell P.
J.
we can't afford to send him to Mexico.
You want me to lie to him? I'm in.
Hola padre.
Hola madre.
Hola Sr.
And Sra.
Duncan.
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