- Hi.
- Hey.
Who is this little ballerina? It's Charlie, your fourth and final child, right? Isn't that dress adorable? I bought it for her first ballet class, which you are taking her to, because I have to work tomorrow.
But, honey, I'm supposed to I'd be happy to.
And I need you to videotape it, - because I don't want to miss a thing.
- But the camera I I'd be happy to.
Ballet what a stupid thing to do.
Actually, your father took ballet in High School.
Great.
Another image to keep me up at night.
Actually, our football coach thought that taking ballet would help our agility and balance.
Either that or he was just really messing with us.
You should've seen your dad in his tights.
He looked hot.
Yeah, the whole idea of "hot" must've been different in the olden days.
Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes "has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud there it is up on the roof I've been there, i survived so just take my advice hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right sure life is up and down but trust me, it comes back around you're gonna love who you turn out to be hang in there, baby.
- Mr.
Piper, can I talk to you - Hold on.
- See - Ah! Now what is it? Oh, well, you're gonna laugh when you hear this, but you actually made a mistake.
So this is where you'd be laughing.
Anyways, um, see, this answer here? You marked it wrong.
- It is wrong.
- But the correct answer is b.
Yes, but you did not completely shade in the oval next to the b, so it is wrong.
You're kidding, right? Miss Duncan, I haven't kidded since I've never kidded.
Good to know.
So you're gonna change my grade, right? - No, I'm not.
- But that's not fair.
This is me completely shading in the oval next to "I don't care.
" Hmm? There she is.
Happy one-week-aversary.
Oh, P.
J.
, you remembered.
Yeah, and they said it wouldn't last.
They did? Who are they? No, it's just an expression.
Wow.
It's so fun going out with a smart guy.
- I wrote a poem for you.
- Oh, let me see.
"P is for the way you play guitar, j is for the jokes you tell.
" Oh, that's beautiful.
Yeah, the hard part was getting it to rhyme, so I didn't.
Oh oh, I have a gift for you too.
- A necklace? - Yeah.
- What's this? - It's a piece of churro.
It is the last bite of the first snack we ever shared.
Oh, that makes me so happy.
Now I'm sad.
What's wrong? Oh, P.
J.
, you know me so well.
Something is wrong.
My ex-boyfriend keeps texting me.
He wants to get back together.
You're wearing my churro.
We're at the churro stage.
Well, I'll talk to this guy, - set him straight.
- Would you? - Yeah.
Who is he? - His name's brock and he's Captain of the wrestling team.
He thinks he's so great just 'cause he's undefeated.
Huh.
So he's never lost a fight and I've never been in a fight.
Huh.
We should have lots to talk about.
See ya.
Man, the churro stage is complicated.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Mom, could you sign this, please? - Sure, honey.
- Wait a second.
I know that move.
She's hiding something.
- No, I'm not.
- Then move your hand away.
I don't want to.
A disciplinary notice? Yes! I knew it! Finally little miss perfect did something bad.
Okay, Teddy honey, what did you do? What? Nothing.
I just got mad at a teacher because he lowered my grade for not filling in a stupid oval, so I snapped one of his stupid pencils.
That's it? I've waited my whole life for that? Teddy honey, I'm not hearing that you did anything wrong.
Well, that's because I didn't.
Okay, I'll tell you what maybe I should go down and have a little talk with this guy.
- Oh, no no no, please don't.
- Why not? Well, because whenever you get involved in stuff like this, you turn into - mama bear? - Mm-hmm.
Is that what you're worried about? Yes.
Because whenever mama bear comes out of her cave, bad things happen.
Yeah, but they're usually entertaining.
Teddy honey, I am more than capable of going down there and having a civilized discussion.
Now who is this teacher? Mr.
Piper.
Ah.
Piper.
It figures.
Yeah, P.
J.
Had him.
Gave him an f - when he clearly deserved a d-.
- Ooh.
Can you please just promise me you won't get involved? Okay, if it's that important to you, I'll stay out of it.
Mama bear is going into hibernation.
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