Morning, Mom.
Eh.
Tough night? I had to get up three times with the baby and your Father was absolutely no help.
Sure I was.
Flicking me in the forehead and saying "baby's crying" is not helpful.
Honey, if I flicked you in the forehead and didn't say anything, that'd just be mean.
Hey, after breakfast can somebody watch Toby while I grab a quick shower? Oh, I can't.
I have a maggot-infested rats' nest that needs my attention.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Sorry, Mom.
I'd love to, but I'm going to the mall with Ivy.
We're gonna shop and look for jobs.
Mostly shop.
See you.
And I'm taking Charlie to the park.
Oh, maybe you can take Toby with you.
No thank you, Mama.
Hmm.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Gabe? No thank you, Mama.
Today's all burnt toast running late and Dad jokes.
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.
There it is up on the roof.
I've been there, I survived.
So just take my advice.
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
But I know your future's bright.
Hang in there, baby.
There's no maybe everything turns out all right.
Sure life is up and down.
But trust me, it comes back around.
You're gonna love who you turn out to be.
Hang in there, baby.
Okay, Charlie.
Here we go.
Have fun.
Not too fast.
Not too fast.
She's already the fastest kid in the park.
If you want to see fast, you should see my nephew Mason ride his trike.
You know what his friends call him? - What? - Nothing.
He's so fast, he doesn't have time to make friends.
Yeah, well, Charlie's so fast, that.
.
That she makes friends, but then she goes so far, by the time she comes back they've changed and moved on.
And.
.
I am really not good at this.
The point is, Mason's faster.
No.
Charlie's faster.
You know what this reminds me of? The conversation that we had before the baby race.
Oh.
The baby race.
Come on, Charlie, you can do it.
Coming down the home stretch, it's still Mason in the lead! Come on, Charlie.
It's now or never! And the winner is Charlie! Okay.
Charlie may be faster on her feet, but on wheels? Mason's the man.
Guess there's only one way to find out.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? Baby race two.
The empire trikes back! Hey, Dad.
Hi, Mr.
Wentz.
We're going to the mall to shop and look for jobs.
.
But mostly shop.
- Wallet's over there.
- How much can I take? Doesn't matter.
Nothing matters.
Ivy, why is your Dad so depressed? I don't know.
I think it might be something about his job.
- What does he do? - I don't know.
Ivy, you're not going to the mall without cleaning your room, are you? Oh, Harry, honey.
I don't know why you're so down.
Show Teddy the award you got last night.
That's The Silver Plungie.
It's in recognition of Harry's 25 years in the plumbing supply business.
Oh, congratulations, Mr.
Wentz.
That is quite an honor.
Well, I think so.
It even has an inscription.
See? It says, "to Harry Wentz, for 25 years of duty".
Well, that's unfortunate.
Oh, I'm gonna go find a place for it.
Is this all I have to show.
.
For 25 years of my life? A plunger that they spray-painted silver.
It's glittery, too.
I used to have dreams.
Big dreams.
I wanted to be.
.
A weatherman.
I wanted to open a restaurant.
But.
.
I'm too old for any of that now.
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