Look.
The reason she got mad at you is that you didn't get upset about nothing.
- Yeah, but it was nothing, right? - Well, of course it was nothing.
- Well, I mean you know that.
- Yeah.
I know that.
We're talking about the female of the species.
Okay? A highly irrational creature.
Fortunately for you, after 20 long years of marriage, I am kind of an expert.
Okay.
Look.
The key Is that you gotta let Teddy think that you care about All this stuff that's not worth caring about.
Look, when they have an issue, like, like - Like Teddy did yesterday - Mm.
You just don't react.
You overreact.
- So how do I do that? - I'll show you.
Okay.
- You know what, you be Teddy.
- Okay.
- I'll be you.
All right.
- Yeah.
- Get mad about something.
- Okay.
Um.
A girl at school didn't like my hair.
What?! How could someone not like your hair?! - You have the best hair ever.
- Well, hey, calm down.
No, I can't! You know what? It just It just It just burns me because your hair is so awesome.
- How do you feel? - Like you really care about my hair.
And I couldn't care less.
Oh, Mr.
Duncan.
This is really good stuff.
Isn't it? Hey, you know the beauty of this is, it works every time.
Except the next time.
Okay, here comes a skateboarder.
All right, wait for it.
Wait for it.
Now.
Oh yes! Oh.
Looking up.
Looking up! Pizza's here.
- Hey, what are you guys doing? - Dropping water balloons.
Come on, it's your turn.
Quick.
There's two old ladies coming.
Come on.
You guys cannot be dropping water balloons.
- Well, why not? - Because I live here.
And I want to keep living here.
And what is with the tent? It's a sleepover.
You can't have a sleepover without a tent.
All right, well.
We'll take this.
Hey, guys.
That pizza's for all of us.
Hey, let's make some prank phone calls.
Oh, come on.
Prank phone calls? You guys are 13 years old.
Are you really Oh, hang on.
Hello? No my butt is not on fire.
Who is this? Boys, quiet.
I'm on the phone.
Teddy, Spencer's here.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, no no.
You didn't let me finish.
Spencer's here talking with your father.
About what? That's the interesting part.
Yeah.
I just overheard Dr.
Bob Professor of Womanology Explain to Spencer that the best way of handling us gals is to pretend to care about stuff that isn't worth caring about.
Really? Well, if I know Spencer, he said that that was ridiculous.
Well, you don't know Spencer.
I believe his exact words were "This is really good stuff, Mr.
Duncan.
" Huh.
Well, I think I need to have a little chat with my fella.
No no no no.
We do not handle these things with communication.
Come on, Teddy.
We get revenge.
First on Spencer Then on Dr.
Bob.
Oh, I see Dr.
Amy's in the house.
Mm-hmm.
And she's about to administer Oh! Hey, guys? Volume.
Oh, he's right.
Let's crank it up.
No.
Turn it down.
- What? - Down.
I can't hear myself think.
No one's ever heard you think.
You know what? That is it.
I have had enough of you two.
No more video games.
- What? - No more video games.
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