(SIGHS) I was fudging the numbers.
You're out here for hours.
Mmm-hmm.
What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom? Well, I try not to think about it.
'Cause if I think about it then I have to go.
And now I'm thinking about it! Watch the cart! I'll be back.
Wow.
It's all mine.
Oh, and that's hot! Uh, one kraut dog, no kraut.
Skyler? PJ? Hi.
Teddy's taking a tour of NYU.
We're just here for the day.
And you got a job? It's just temporary.
Oh.
So, how are you? Um, great.
I'm graduating high school, getting ready to go off to college.
Wow, good for you.
Well, uh, here's your kraut dog, no kraut.
Uh, what do I owe you? It's the least I can do for my ex-girlfriend.
Thanks.
Well, it was good seeing you.
Yeah, you, too.
(SIGHS) Of all the hot dog stands in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk up to the one I'm temporarily working at.
Hey, honey.
How'd it go at the mall? Fine.
Okay, what went wrong? I didn't find out what Charlie wanted for Christmas.
What? Well, she whispered it to Santa and then she wouldn't tell me.
Well, did you ever think about asking Santa? I tried to, but by then, Wise Guy Santa had replaced Fresh Pants Santa.
Honey, it's crazy down there.
Okay, as usual, I have to handle it myself.
They won't let you talk to him unless you got a kid.
Gabe! What? Let's go.
You're talking to Santa.
All right.
Let me just shave, I'll be right with you.
(BRAKES SCREECHING) MAN ON PA: (MUMBLING) We're experiencing a temporary minor delay, should be moving shortly.
Excuse me? Did you, uh, did you catch any of that? (MUMBLING) "We're experiencing a temporary minor delay, should be moving shortly.
" There is a temporary minor delay, but we're gonna be moving shortly.
(SIGHS) Well, that's good news.
No, it's bad news.
Why? You're not from New York, are you? No.
How did you know? 'Cause you don't speak subway.
"Temporary minor delay" means "We're not going anywhere for a long, long time.
" "Should be moving shortly" means "I'm not kidding.
A long, long time.
" But if it's not true, then why would they say that? Oh, 'cause he wants everyone to remain calm.
Well, it's not working! This is not good.
I need to get to NYU.
This train needs to start moving, now! If you click your heels three times, I'm sure we'll be on our way.
Hey, I have to get somewhere, too.
I have a very important audition.
Yeah, the difference is, she might actually get into NYU.
I'm hoping you two know each other.
Oh.
I'm Jessie, this is Zuri.
I'm her nanny.
I'm Teddy.
Hi.
Jessie, I'm hungry.
We'll get you something to eat after my audition.
So I have to wait for you to blow the audition, then I have to console you, then I get something to eat? Yes.
Same routine as always.
But I'm hungry now.
(SNIFFS) And something smells good.
What's that? Lasagna.
And it's for a Christmas party I'm going to.
We could have a party right now.
Uh, uh, uh! Sit.
Um, listen, while we're stuck here, would you mind running lines with me? Why not? Okay, so we're at a very fancy country club, and you're having tea with your friends.
Cue me in.
Okay.
"I've spent all my summers in Southampton.
"The smell of the beach always brings me back to a simpler time.
"Oh, here's the girl now.
" More tea? That's it? Yeah.
It's not a very big part.
They never are.
Ho, ho, ho! Who's next? Okay, let's do this one standing up.
I think that might be best.
Tell me your name, little Man.
Gabe.
I want cash.
Next! Hi, Santa.
Uh, my little girl was here a few hours ago.
Uh, actually, that's a picture of you.
Oh, sorry about that.
Let me just get one of her.
That's me.
Me, me, me, me.
Oh, here she is.
With me.
Do you remember what present she wanted? Yeah.
It was a doll.
Are you sure? Or a pony.
Okay, now I feel like you're just trying to get rid of me.
It's always a doll or a pony.
Once in a while you get a kitten or a bike.
Dolls and ponies those are your mainstays.
I don't care about that! It's Christmas Eve! I'm running out of time, and I've got to know! Ma'am, you're a little out of control.
The holidays can do that to people.
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