If'n I do recall, I warned y'all not to cheat.
I tried to be gentleman-like, but I'm plum sick of being tilted.
So now I reckon.
I'm gonna tilt you.
Oh, yeah? Well-- well, take this! Ow! And this! Ow! It hurts! I wish this was working better! Oh, dude! Soos! Get yourselves ready for the Multi-ball! Over there! Where are you? I'm not done teachin' you a lesson about cheating yet! How are we ever gonna get out of here? Think, guys! I'm trying, but it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me.
Okay, don't worry, guys.
I know every inch of this machine.
There's a manual power switch inside.
I can sneak in there and turn off the game, but we'll have to distract the cowboy guy.
Are either of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises? My time has come.
All right, let's go, Soos.
Soos? So are you, like, doing anything later or-- Right.
Come on out and show yourselves, varmints! Listen to me and look at what I'm doing! Somethin' ain't right here.
Distraction! Distraction! Let me see where this is goin'.
Yippe-ti-yi-- what? Where are ya? Durn it, I wish I had a neck! Soos! Psst! What's going on? Just press the switch already! Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking.
According to this, turning off the power erases the high score permanently.
That score is, like, my one big life accomplishment.
What? If you don't hurry up we could die in here! Fair point.
But, what is life anyway, When compared to the immortality of a high score? Soos! Are you out of your-- There y'all are.
Get ready to meet yer maker, kids! My maker is ballway games in Redmond, Washington.
Mabel! - SOOS! - SOOS, PLEASE! Turn it off! Goodbye, high score! Oh, you dudes okay? Yeah, Soos.
You did it! You freed us! Hey, man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score.
That's okay.
I got a new life accomplishment now: saving you dudes.
You think that pinball wench will call me? I can't believe this nonsense! Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? what do you come up these stuff? I'll tell you a good story.
It's called "Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl.
" Mr.
Pines.
I thought old folks were useless, But you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson.
Here's your football winning trophy, Mr.
Pines! Thanks, beautiful woman, but I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, foot-bot.
Thank you for building me, daddy.
I love you, Stan.
Come on.
What? That story was great.
I even threw in a talking robot for the kids.
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story, A story called Thoothache.
This attraction is gonna make me a fortune! Easy with that bear, corduroy! I need him in showroom condition! No! No! Aw! They're hugging! So let me get this straight.
Your plan is to teach this bear to ride a bicycle? Nah, come on.
Everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear.
No, no.
I'm gonna teach this bear To drive! And the yellow light means speed up.
Uh-oh.
What seems to be the problem, officers? Now there had better be a darn good explanation for this.
Oh, there is.
You see, I'm a very old man, not long for this earth, and the doctor's assigned me a seeing-eye bear To drive me to the hospital in case of emergencies.
Is that right? Then where's your doctor's note? Why, it's right here, inside my jacket! Ah! There you go! Well, I can't argue with dr.
Medicine.
To the hospital, honeypants! Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? Don't you know lying is always wrong? Mabel, when you get to be my age, You'll learn that sometimes You have to bend the truth for the greater good.
Hey, has anyone seen my plate of spaghetti? No.
But I bet Soos has.
You know how he likes to eat.
This is a dark day.
Thanks, Grunkle Stan! See? Greater good.
Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan? He needs to stop lying.
I know! But how do we stop him? Maybe you should check Dipper's journal.
Oink, oink! Say "Oink" One more time.
Oink, oink.
Waddles, you genius! "Buried 'neath a tree stump in the deep forest are truth teeth, which force upon the wearer an inability to lie.
" Hmm.
Aah! What's going on? What? Mabel? Quick question.
What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate? I ate it, because I have little to no concern for other people's possessions or emotions.
Huh.
That was strangely candid.
Almost as if I'm unable to lie.
Well, goodnight! You what? That seems like a horrible idea! It's great! Now he has to tell the truth.
Scrambled meat, here it is.
Stan, what do you do in secret every day during your lunch break? Usually I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention.
Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper, And go to the bathroom without washing my hands.
Well, that was disturbing.
Don't worry, Dipper.
The truth is always a good thing.
Hey, excuse me.
Do you think this t-shirt is my size? Never mind the t-shirt! Hey, everybody! Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face! I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Doing my taxes.
Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this? Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud.
Might wanna tuck that one away there.
Oh, no! Sometimes I think, is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death? Kids! I think I have a growth forming on my back! Just wanted to be honest with you guys! I can't take it anymore, Mabel! You have to take those teeth out of his mouth.
But then he'd be a liar again! Could is possibly be any worse than this? So after further investigation, Turns out there is no Dr.
Medicine in Gravity Falls.
You'd better have a durn good explanation for this.
Oh, and I do! You see, I lied to you.
In addition, I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, And smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines.
Also, you're fat.
Is all this true? No, no, it's not true right, Mabel? Uh sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you.
Our great uncle Stan is Is ugh! Stan is secretly a crime fiction writer! What? Yeah! He was just telling you about a character from his upcoming page-turner crime grandpa.
He's never committed a crime in his life! Also, have you lost weight? Finally, someone noticed.
Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read? What? Author? Writer-- masters of fiction! Good night, officers! Hey, you all right? I can't believe I lied! Mabel, it was for the greater good.
Yeah.
The greater good.
Hello, police station? Yeah, I forgot to tell 'em about my tax fraud.
No, tax fraud.
Get 'em out! What's gotten into you kids? We have to find a place to get rid of these! And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again.
Oh, wait, there it is.
Oh, sweet, my shoes.
I liked the part with the bear.
The rest seemed pretty farfetched.
Mabel, we already know that story.
We just lived through it.
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