Ha ha! Nacho earrings! I'm hilarious! That's debatable.
Aw, come on.
What's with all this traffic? And why is it all Covered wagons?! Oh, no! No! No! Not today! Not today! Oh, heavens! Goodness! Grunkle Stan, what's going on? We gotta get out of here before it's too late! They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! No!!! I got a good feeling about today.
Dirty glass! We got dirty glass! Dirty glass.
Aw, boy.
It's pioneer day.
Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded.
Welcome to 1863! I will break you, little man! Aah! Aah! Wow, look! Candle dipping! Whoa! Gold panning! I now pronounce you man and wife.
I do! What you talkin' about? Oh, yeah, I remember this.
In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers.
Oh, it's still legal very legal.
Come one and all for the opening ceremonies! Grunkle Stan, you comin'? No thank you! Just remember if you come back to the shack talking like these people, you're dead to me! Thar's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar! Well, hornswaggle my haversack! Ha ha ha! Dead to me!!! Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence.
Whoo! I got a bell! He sure loves his bell.
Howdy, everyone.
You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great-granddaughter of town founder Nathaniel Northwest.
I'm also very rich.
Now, if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself.
Audience participation! I don't know, Mabel.
Isn't that girl kind of like your arch enemy? That's water under the bridge.
Our first newcomer is Mabel.
Yeah! Let's this this pioneer day started! Right, guys? USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! I'm sorry to break it to you, but pioneer day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous.
I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly? Hey! I can be serious! You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon.
Wow, I'm embarrassed for you.
Give her a hand, everybody! Now, who wants to hear more about me? Excuse me.
Every say, "Northwest.
" Northwest.
We're perfect.
Hey, you okay? I need some old-timey butterscotch.
Let's get out of here.
Hey, there.
Donkey boy.
Give me a hand with my car, huh? Here in 1863 I have never heard tell of a car.
Pray tell, what is this magic wheel box? Ach! Come on, Steve, you're a mechanic, for Pete's sake.
Cut me some slack! "Slack.
" I am unfamiliar with this bold new expression.
I can't take this anymore! I'm getting dumber every second I'm here! Are we gonna have to intervene here? Oh, look The constable.
What are you gonna do, throw me in "ye stocks"? Ha ha ha ha! Aw, come on! Hey, nice outfit, Gideon.
You actually look less girly than usual.
Aha ha ha ha ha! Why, Stanford, I'm just a humble tomato farmer sellin' his wares.
Whoops! I dropped one! Aah! Whoops! I dropped another one.
Arghh!! Pioneer day!!! Dipper, can I ask you something? Do you think I'm Silly? Uh, noooo.
Ohh! I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke.
Come on, Mabel.
You love that sweater.
I did before Pacifica ruined it for me.
She ruins everything.
Pacifica! Why Doe she think that being related to the town founder means she gets to treat everyone like garbage? Someone needs to take her down a peg.
Wait a minute! I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great-grandfather before.
Of course! Oh, this is perfect.
"In my investigations" Should I do the voice? Unh-unh.
I'll just read normal.
"In my investigations I recently made a discovery.
"Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls.
"I believe the proof of this secret is buried "somewhere on the enclosed document.
If only I could crack the code.
" Oh, man! If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud! This could be a major conspiracy! Really? I gotta investigate this! Wait.
I'm coming with you.
Conspiracies are serious, right? Oh, yeah, definitely.
Well, if I help you crack this code, nobody could ever call me silly again! Yeah! Mystery twins? I thought you hated that.
I'm starting to accept it.
This is sheriff blubs.
We've got a code sepia.
What?! And what are you doing about it? I'm following them right now.
Find them and stop them.
There's no room for error.
I understand.
Blubs out.
Deputy durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers.
Are you ready? Whoo! If being delightful was a crime, you'd be breaking the law.
Let's go get 'em! Whoo! Ha ha ha ha! Den days, from telling stories piaround the fire.
Enance so let's eat some books, children.
Go ahead, eat the books! All right, Mabel.
If we can prove that Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it'll finally put Pacifica in her place.
And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly, I'm serious! Seriousss We just need to crack this code.
Let me see It's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not wait! Of course! The triangle is the alchemist's symbol for flame.
Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message! It's so obvious! All right.
Let's just light this sucker up and Mabel! Mwop! I just made a hat! Achh! I just did something silly again! Wait.
Mabel, you folded it into a map.
And I was gonna burn it.
We were on the lookout for two kids who might be reading.
We're hunting 'em down for secret reasons.
Whoo! Mrrrrp! Maybe we should take this elsewhere.
This map should lead us to The Gravity Falls Museum of History.
You realize what this means, Mabel.
We're gonna have to break in.
And those are your free pioneer day passes and your balloons, blue and pink.
We're in.
What are we gonna do next? Steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage? Ew.
No.
According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right Here! We have to figure this one out quick.
I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books.
I don't think the one with the bell can read.
So what is it, anyway? Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hey, painting.
Be less stupid.
It worked! Huh? Wait! It's not abstract, it's upside-down! I think I've seen that statue in the cemetery.
Let's go! Quick! Ow ow ow! Ahh! Ow! Head rush.
I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons.
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