I can swear for real! Son-of-a That's him, all right.
Okay, okay.
So maybe Grunkle Stan stole some toxic waste.
That doesn't mean he's leading a nefarious double life.
Mabel, I'm not so sure about that.
What? What is all this? Stetson Pinefield? Hal Forrester? Andrew "8-Ball" Alcatraz? These are fake IDs, Mabel! You wouldn't need these unless you were trying to hide your real identity.
But why would Stan do that? What? "Stan Pines Dead"? "Foul play suspected in Pines' death.
" "Fiery car crash, brakes cut " By who? "Unnamed grifter at large"? Why would they call him "unnamed"? - Unless Stan - isn't Stan?! Stan Pines is dead? Then who have we been living with? It doesn't make any sense! There has to be some explanation.
Maybe we're getting Ker-Pranked! Justin Ker-Prank is gonna jump up from behind one of these plants, any minute now! Any minute, Justin.
Can't believe it! This whole summer I've been looking for answers, and the biggest mystery was right under our nose.
There's gotta be some kind of explanation in here, somewhere.
What the ? "Secret Code to Hideout"? Let me see that! A1, B, C3 - I've never seen a code like this.
- Wait, I have! Dipper, it's the vending machine! All right, Pines.
Play time is over.
Chopper's ready to dust off to Washington.
I'll enjoy putting you away.
What? Um, can't we stick around for maybe one minute, uh, one minute, thirty seconds? We're not falling for your games, Pines.
You've been running your whole life.
Your time is finally up.
Bathroom break? Just gimme 15 seconds.
Sorry, but you've got a flight to catch.
Oh, yeah? So do you! Huh? Whoa, whoa, hey! Hey! Dang it, get back here! Men, get him! No! You won't get away with this! Gonna get ya! Gonna get ya! Ow! Whoa! - You know where the Mystery Shack is? - Uh, yeah.
Okay, here's a hundred bucks.
Drive as far away from the Shack as possible, and don't stop when the cops start chasing you! He's getting away! Obviously, follow that cab! Stanford escaped! He's at large! We need to sweep the town! Move, move, move! All right, Soos, remember the plan.
Protect the machine, earn Stan's trust, legally get adopted by Stan, change name to Stan Junior.
- Soos! - Oh, kids, where have you been? W-what are you doing here? Stan gave me a mission to protect this machine.
Ha! And I thought I loved snacks! Soos, listen.
Something huge is going on here.
If Stan is hiding some dangerous secret, we need to find out what it is! - I need you to step aside.
- Yeah, just let us through so we can prove this is all just a big misunderstanding.
Guys, I know this seems crazy, but I promised Stan I would guard this with my life.
I'm sorry, Soos.
Attack glitter! It's pretty, but it hurts! - Please, Soos! - C'mon, Soos! Aw, c'mon, I don't wanna fight you guys! This hurts me more than it hurts you! Seriously, it hurts me way more than it hurts you.
Ohh It's like something from a video game.
- Or a dream.
- Or a nightmare.
I gotta be there when it happens! Guys, are we dreaming? Somebody wake me up.
This can't be real.
I don't understand.
Why would Mr.
Pines have all this? It's just like that bunker in the woods.
But what is it doing underneath the Mystery Shack? Okay, okay, so he's got a huge, gigantic lab.
That doesn't mean anything bad.
Everyone's got secrets! It's still Stan, and he loves us.
- And we love him, right? - Can't be it's impossible.
The other two journals?! All this time, all this time, Stan had them?! I can't believe it! Was anything he said to us real?! - Why would he have those journals?! - Maybe he's the author.
Or maybe he stole them from the author! Maybe the reason he has all of those fake IDs is because he is a master criminal, and this machine is his master plan! Whoa! "I was wrong the whole time.
" "The machine was meant to create knowledge, but it is too powerful!" "I was deceived, and now it is too late!" - "The device, if fully operational," - "could tear our universe apart!" "It must not fall into the wrong hands.
"If the clock ever reaches zero, our universe is doomed.
" It's the final countdown! Just like they always sung about! The agents were right! We have to shut it down! There! Quick! Turn these! Together! That's it! The shutdown switch! This all stops now! Don't touch that button! Dipper, just back away.
Please don't press that shutdown button.
You gotta trust me.
And I should trust you, why? After you stole radioactive waste, after you lied to us all summer! - I don't even know who you are! - Look, I know this all seems nuts, but I need that machine to stay on.
If you just let me explain Oh! Oh, no! Brace yourselves! Whoa, whoa, whoa! T-minus 35 seconds.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Whoa! Dipper! Mabel! Hurry! Shut it down! No! Mabel, Mabel, wait! Stop! Soos, what are you doing? I gave you an order! Sorry, Mr.
Pines, if that is your real name, but I have a new mission now, protecting these kids! Soos, you idiot, let me go! - Let me go! C'mon! - Mabel, press the red button! - Shut it down! - No, you can't! You gotta trust me! Grunkle Stan, I don't even know if you're my Grunkle! I wanna believe you, but Then listen to me.
Remember this morning, when I said I wanted to tell you guys something? T-minus 20 seconds.
I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of 'em are true, but trust me, everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family.
Mabel, what if he's lying? This thing could destroy the universe! Listen to your head! Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy? He's lying! Shut it down, now! - Mabel, please! - Ten, nine Grunkle Stan Six, five I trust you.
Mabel, are you crazy?! We're all gonna One.
Nooo! W-What? Who is that? The author of the journals my brother.
- Is this the part where one of us faints? - Oh, I am so on it, dude.
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