I was cast out of the time anomaly removal crew my whole life's purpose.
And then I was given ten squared life sentences in time prison.
I've spent every day since then planning my vengeance.
And now finally, it has come! Look, we're sorry about all that, but we're in the middle of something really important right now.
It's our friend's birthday today, and we promised we wouldn't leave his side.
What?! You think some dumb birthday matters right now? - Do you know where you are? - Welcome to Globnar! - Is this a reality show? - Are we in Japan? It's gladiatorial time combat! The winner gets a precious time wish and then decides the loser's fate.
N-N-No! Please! And the two of you are officially challenged.
Dundgren! Get me my war paint.
Dipper, we need a way out of here.
- But how? - I have an idea.
Hang in there, Soos, we're coming for you.
Dipper? Mabel? Requesting back-up.
Ah! Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh, no.
- Laser Robbie.
- Dudes? Oh, my stars.
Could it be my little, um Lolphy! It's me.
Your great-great-great-great- great-great-great grandmother from the past times.
Gam-gam? Yeah, neon green is good.
This is a good color for me.
It's fierce Huh? What? No! You can't let them escape! Stop there! Gam-gam, how could you? I ain't no one's Gam-gam, sucka! You just got time tricked! - No! - No! Hurry! Back to Soos' birthday.
Okay.
I think I've got it.
- Uhh.
Are we back? - Oh, no! Look! Mable, the laser place is a mattress store.
- We went too far in the past.
- Time travel.
Man, why you gotta be so complicated? Huh?! Looks like they overshot their destination by 10 years.
I don't see them.
You better find those kids! You'll get your justice, Blendin.
I'm gonna keep stammering until you find them.
I-I-I-I - I hate that guy.
- Let's move.
Yeah! Okay, we just got to go forward 10 years.
We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone.
Oh, no! The timey thing.
It's busted.
- Can you fix it? - Maybe.
I'll need some tools.
And I think I know where to get some.
Let's try to lay low.
We don't want to change the future.
Or cause the future.
I forget how this works exactly.
Wow, 10 years in the past.
Everything is samey but also differenty.
Doppity-doppity-doo Yeah! Look out Broadway, here I come.
- This dream goes nowhere, Toby! - Aww, marbles.
Whoa.
Oops.
Sorry.
My friend thinks you're cute.
- Oh, my gosh.
Tambry, shut up.
- Ow! Hey! Thank you.
I mean you're super young, so this is weird.
Now you know how she feels, creep.
Yeah, I Huh.
Wow.
Wow.
Schlep right up, ladies and gentlemen, to see my latest attraction.
- All right, the coast is clear.
- Now is our chance.
Ha! Bingo! All right, let's see.
Aw, come on, candy.
Fall.
Fall.
Allow me.
You just need to know a guy on the inside.
Bippity-boop-womp! Jackpot! Thanks, dawg.
You must be some kind of genius.
All right, I think I've got this thing working.
Dipper, Dipper, look.
No way.
Mi precioso, you keep wandering off.
You don't want to be late for your big day.
Sorry, abuelita.
Big day? This could be the birthday where that personal biz went down.
We could finally find out why Soos hates his birthday.
All right, but let's be quick.
I want a piece of birthday cake! Who's a handsome birthday boy? It's you! Soos, you are such a ladies' man.
They're my cousins, grandma.
Gross.
I got you a race car cake.
Man, I don't know why Soos hates his birthdays.
This looks great.
Sorry, dude, but could you move seats? - That's the seat of honor.
- Uh, who's it for? Oh.
Heh.
It's for my dad, actually.
I haven't seen him in, like, That must be him! All right, Soos, today's the big day.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Postcard for Soos.
_ "See you next year for sure.
Dad.
" Hey, don't sweat it, cuz.
You'll see him next year.
Ha.
Yeah, next year.
I'm gonna go lay down.
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