Oh, yeah, our romantic evening.
Anyone who's not used to satin sheets could easily have an accident Maggie, don't patronize me.
Okay? And where the hell are my pajamas? Gee, I'm sorry.
I'm really not sure.
You wouldn't think it'd be so damn tough to keep tabs on a pair of pajamas around here.
Jason, I don't understand why you're so upset.
I mean, it's not like this is the first time he's screwed up.
Who screwed up? Mike.
Who said anything about Mike? I'm upset because I can't find my pajamas.
I mean, if you just left a pair of pajamas around and these are big pajamas I'm talking about And to think that they just vanished into thin air Well, wouldn't you be pretty upset? Absolutely.
In fact, I'm amazed at the way you're holding together.
What? I've never seen Dad actually too mad to talk.
Thanks for your support.
You know, I feel like a new man now.
I'm sorry.
Look, it's not so bad.
I bet, in a year, he'll look back at this whole thing and laugh.
Okay, maybe chuckle.
Okay, I admit it.
I'm upset with Mike.
Oh? Aren't you? Absolutely.
I'm furious.
But no more furious than I've been at him a dozen other times before.
I mean, he's a kid, Jason.
What did you expect? Yeah, but he sat not 3 feet away from me and he said: "Dad, I swear it, I'm ready for total responsibility.
" Jason, you are not ready for total responsibility.
I mean, face it, the boy is 15.
He's a hormone with feet.
I know, but someday that hormone will be a man.
And I want that man to have a sense of responsibility.
Go talk to him.
You won't sleep if you don't.
Don't worry.
I'll continue the search for the pajamas.
What? You were asleep.
I was? I was.
And it was a dream.
You're still angry? Hey, Dad, I know this is no excuse, but Jerry's car handles really badly.
And I was the one who decided Jerry was too drunk to drive.
Mike, he was unconscious.
I know.
What are you doing with a kid who drinks like that? I should've called you.
Why didn't you? Well, Dad, there was these girls there Of course.
Wouldn't want them to think you had parents.
Mike, what kind of a relationship are we going to have if I can't trust you? I don't know.
I guess I'm just a jerk.
Maybe you shouldn't trust me.
That's certainly one way to go.
That's the way my father went with me.
I guess I hoped that when I had a son it would be different.
I know, Dad.
Mike, you probably don't remember this, but when you were 3 weeks old I took you to the Mets home opener.
Cradled you in my arms.
Up comes Donn Clendenon.
Hits a shot off the left-field scoreboard to win it in the 12th.
I hugged you real tight jumping up and down.
And you you threw up in your complimentary Mets batting helmet.
I'm sorry, Dad.
It was my fault.
I never should've let you suck that beer off my finger.
No, Dad, I meant about tonight.
I'm sorry.
Well, thank you.
You know, Dad, I try.
I really try.
But sometimes almost without warning, I just find myself doing something really stupid.
Sort of an uncontrollable impulse? Yeah.
Or is it more like you think you're doing something really stupid and then you weigh your chances of getting away with it and if they're better than 10%, you go for it.
Yeah! That's why you're grounded for two months.
Yeah.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I did some pretty lame-o things in my day.
- You? - Yeah.
Like what? Like I remember when I was 16 me and some buddies, we drove around town one night mooning everybody.
We even mooned the mayor's wife.
You, Dad? Yeah, we got arrested for indecent exposure.
Had to let us off though.
Mayor's wife refused to make an identification.
- You, Dad? - Will you stop saying that? Does Mom know about this? Are you kidding? How do you think we met? All right, Dad.
Hey, Dad, do you ever get the urge to do dumb stuff now? No, I don't, Mike.
I think that's what being an adult is all about.
Oh.
Well, all right.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, son.
Hey.
Come back in here for a sec.
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