Yes, right.
I mean, everybody knows that contemporary fashions are obviously nuclear.
And that's disarming.
All right, team, let's go! - Give me an "S"! - "S.
" - Give me an "E"! - "E.
" All right, I'll finish it myself.
- A-V-E-R! What does it spell? - Losers.
No, come on.
Now, maybe we've lost one of our stronger team members but we've gotta believe we're gonna win.
And we do believe we're gonna win.
And why do we believe we're gonna win? Because we're idiots? No, Ben.
Because we're "The Bowlin' Seavers.
" What do you think? Look at this.
- "Jason 'Bud' Seaver"? - And that's not all.
I also have one here for Ben "Fudd" Seaver.
For Carol "Spud" Seaver.
Isn't this fun? And Maggie "Mud" Seaver.
Mud? Well, there aren't that many words that end in "ud.
" Okay, we ready? - Now, give me an "S"! - "S!" - Give me an "E"! - "E!" - Give me an "A"! - "A!" - Give me a "V"! - "V!" - Give me an "E"! - "E!" - Give me an "R"! - "R!" - What do you got? - Losers! So, Michael, why don't we talk about your work? Michael read the most remarkable poem the other day.
It was just a little something from my recent neo-symbolist period.
Really? What were you before you became a neo-symbolist? I was a Neo-Synephrine! Oh, a joke! How funny! Well, Michael, why don't you read one of your poems for us now? Yes, now.
Right now.
Everybody, I'd like to introduce Michael Seaver.
An exciting - Juliet, I can't do that.
- Why not? I didn't even bring my poem.
So what? Why don't you recite one of your older works? No, actually, I couldn't do that.
What are you talking about, Michael? Look, Juliet, it's this legal thing.
I mean, I sold all my poems to Hollywood and from now on only Jack Nicholson's allowed to read them.
Oh, Mishka, stop joking around and read your poem.
- Everybody's waiting.
- Look, look, Juliet.
- I have to tell you something.
- What? - The truth is, I'm not a poet.
- What? - But the poem you read, it was - I didn't write it.
I bought it.
You mean you lied to me? Look, Juliet, when you first walked into that classroom I thought you were so much different, so much classier than anyone else I'd ever seen.
I just wanted to impress you.
But your family, the Pulitzer Prize, the modern dance recital No, no.
My family's not at a modern dance recital.
- Then what was this? - Bowling! - Bowling.
- Yeah, bowling.
See, it's this big match we have every year with the neighbors.
It's called "Bowling for Dinners.
" That was my dad's idea.
And the losers have to take the winners out for a big surf 'n' turf dinner at Ferber's House of Meat and Fish.
Ferber's House of Meat and Fish? - What? - Well, it's such a disgusting image.
I mean, two entire families rolling balls for meat.
Hey, it comes with a salad and choice of rice or potato, okay? I don't believe this.
You're one of those people who bowls and hangs out at malls and eats hot dogs on a stick.
Yeah, I guess I am.
So what's wrong with that? Maybe I like malls.
Maybe I like bowling.
- Michael, will you please lower your voice.
- What? Are you ashamed of me, Juliet? You ashamed of being seen here with me? This is really embarrassing.
Oh, you want embarrassing? I'll give you embarrassing.
Hey, buddy, you want to know why there's no lumberjacks in the big cities? It's because they're all at the malls eating hot dogs on sticks! - It's over.
- We're dead.
It's hopeless.
Now come on, guys, we've only lost two games! We've only played two games.
I hate the Koosmans.
Did you hear them over there? They had the whole snack bar singing: "We're mopping the floor with the Seaver Four.
" I won't even tell you what they have them singing in the men's room.
Well, then, let's practice.
Come on, Carol, you can do it.
Let's just grab a ball right now, work on your approach a little bit.
Just remember to square your shoulders and whip that wrist and follow through.
Okay? Come on.
- I got eight pins! - Yes.
Well, I'll have to check the rule book on this but I'm pretty sure they have to be in our lane.
Well, this will be an expensive dinner this year.
The Koosmans are off their diet.
The slobs.
Hi, guys.
Sorry, I'm late.
Mike.
Hey, look, guys, about the way I've been acting I don't know how to say this, but - Well, I guess I owe you guys - Hey, Mike.
Yeah, Dad.
Do you want to bowl or are you gonna write a poem about it? I'm gonna bowl.
And you better hurry, too.
Better bowl fast, Michael.
All right, here we go.
Hey, Mishka! We're number one! Yes! All right, all right, attention, please.
On behalf of the entire Seaver family I'm talking about Fudd, Spud, Mud, and of course myself, Bud may I present this to the man who led us to victory.
Well, I guess when all's said and done, it's your family who knows you best.
"Mike 'Stud' Seaver.
" English
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