The Solid Gold dancers.
Well, at least Dad's not here.
I mean, he'd really try to cheer me up.
The slime.
I mean, he always acts like he's gonna be real sympathetic and then before you know it, he turns on you: "Mike, Mike, Mike.
"I find that at times like these "it's always best to keep a little perspective on life.
" At least he didn't give you that line about how rough he had it when he was your age.
No, no.
That's right.
He always says: "Mike "I'm not gonna give you that line about how rough I had it when I was your age "but I think that you should be aware "that historically, people have had it rougher than this.
" - Hi.
- Hi.
Do we have mice? Yep and if I'm not back in 24 hours call a cat.
Mike, Mike, Mike.
Still feeling pretty low, huh, pal? Dad, I'm feeling fine.
Let's just drop it, okay? Come on, come on.
I know what you're going through.
- Yeah, sure, Dad.
- No, I do.
I really do.
You know, I didn't want to bring it up this morning and depress you but I have seen Springsteen in concert.
You have? Ten years ago.
- Really? What was it like? - Amazing.
I mean, the guy completely blows your doors off.
- God, I don't want to hear this.
- He made me feel so - Please, Dad.
free.
I could have just walked out of that concert and hitchhiked right across country.
- Stop! - Sorry.
Mike, if you had one wish right now one thing, what would it be? Dad, I'm really not in the mood for this.
Come on, Mike.
Come on, come on, come on.
I mean, if you had one thing that would make you the happiest guy in the world, what would it be? A Solid Gold dancer.
All right, two wishes.
Front-row tickets to the Springsteen concert.
Well, would seventh-row be all right? Come on, Dad.
Don't toy with my emotions.
"Huntington Dry Cleaning.
Three shirts, clean, press, no starch.
" Thanks, Dad.
That was my third wish.
Okay, okay.
Sorry.
Wrong pocket.
How about these? It can't be.
Dad, do you know what these are? - These are Springsteen tickets! - Really? I can't believe it.
How did you get them? Well, Mike, your mom and I made a big decision.
We could either afford to send you to college or we could get those tickets.
- What do you think? - I think you made the right choice.
I can't believe it.
Two tickets to Springsteen.
Wait till I call Jerry.
He's gonna freak.
Hey, wait a minute.
Show some compassion.
When Jerry finds out we're going, it's gonna kill him.
We don't want to rub it in.
Right, right.
Hey, Mike, you don't really mind going to the concert with your old man? No.
No.
You sure? Yeah.
Dad, this is going to be great.
I mean, you don't want to take one of your buddies? No.
- You want to take Jerry? - No.
- Peggy Zelinsky? - No.
No, Dad, I want to go with you, really.
Well, all right, then.
Let's call Jerry and rub it in.
Just kidding.
I swear it, man.
I have tried everywhere.
There is not one more ticket around.
Hey, Seaver, did you score tickets? Hey, did I say I was gonna score the tickets? Voilà .
Outrageous, man! Where did you get these? I have my connections.
So, Mikey.
Buddy.
Broski.
Just how many tickets you got here? Just two.
What? You think he's gonna take you, bonehead? He's gonna take me, right, Mikey? Sorry, guys.
No can do.
Okay.
Okay, I can respect that.
Now let me guess.
Peggy Zelinsky, right? Oh, man, what an opportunity.
Have you ever seen a girl after a Springsteen concert? They turn into wild animals.
- Have you asked her, yet? - Well, no, not exactly.
I mean, Peggy wants me, man, but she just doesn't do it for me.
Look, I'm gonna be late for English.
Gotta go.
"I'm gonna be late for English.
Gotta go.
" Come on, Seaver, you barely speak English.
Who are you going with, man? Mafuther.
What? - Mafuther.
- Who's Mafuther? Wait.
Is that that new weird kid from Pakistan? No, man.
I'm going with my father.
You're gonna go see Springsteen with your father, man? Hey, look, my father's not like a father, okay? He's a cool guy.
Yeah, he's cool.
Last time I was over there he was waxing the floor and singing Puff the Magic Dragon.
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