7. 186969 - Do You Believe in Magic? (第2季)【完整台词】

[BEATBOXING] [SINGING] Baby [BEATBOXING] Ooh, ba-ba-baby [MIKE BEATBOXING] Dad.

Mike, you promised me you'd be studying for your speech-class exam.

-I am.

-Well, start over.

I don't get it.

I was wearing headphones.

JASON: Study, Mike.

[PHONE RINGING] All right! Hello? Hey, Boner, my man.

How you doing? Yeah, I could use a study break.

Whew.

Um.

Yeah, yeah, the arcade sounds great.

Wait a second, I'm broke.

Do you think you could lend me like? All right, all right, I'll pay you back for that and for this, okay? -Oh.

Hold on a second.

Oh, Carol-- -Not a dime.

Boner, I don't know.

Hold on a minute.

-Oh, Benny, my man.

-Not a chance, Mike.

Bone, this could take a couple of seconds.

You wanna hold? Okay.

Don't go away.

BONER [OVER PHONE]: No problem.

I'll wait right here.

Ben, my little compadre.

Huh? Ben, you know, when you look at me suspiciously like that, it hurts.

Good.

Ben, come on.

I mean, we're brothers.

You know, this is our time to bond.

Before you know it, you'll be a grown man and-- You'll be in prison.

All right, okay, fine.

If you don't wanna see this card trick that you could use to win big money off your trusting little friends.

-How much money? -Plenty.

Get the cards.

I thought Dad said you weren't supposed to be playing cards with Ben anymore.

Hey, we're bonding.

Okay, pick a card, any card and I'll tell you what it is.

And I'll bet, say, a dollar on it.

Okay, all right, you don't have to bet a dollar.

Let's make it a pretend dollar.

It's the queen of spades.

-Seven of diamonds.

CAROL: Ha! Gosh, why did I mess up? Here, let me try it again.

The ace of hearts? -Nine of diamonds.

-You owe him $2.

Pretend dollars.

Gosh, why isn't this working? I bet my allowance.

Four dollars.

Real dollars.

Ben, it's really sleazy of you to take advantage of me like this.

Five dollars more.

Hey, come on, guys.

And another buck.

[MIKE SIGHS] Okay, what is it? Jack of diamonds.

Thank you very much.

I'm only 10.

What's your excuse? BONER [OVER PHONE]: Hello? Mikey, are you there? Hello? Hello? Hello? BONER: Ben? Is that you? [DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES] JASON: Mike? Are you still studying? Yo, Dad, I'm on it.

Eat this.

Look, you're skating on thin ice.

I just went down to the arcade for a half an hour after Boner calls me and he doesn't even show up.

[BONER WHISTLES] BONER: Mike.

-Boner? BONER: Mike.

Hello? Boner, I was just down at the arcade for a half an hour.

Where you been? Oh.

Bone, why didn't you just call and tell me you were waiting on the phone? Mike, no wasting time.

You're supposed to be working on that speech.

MIKE: Gotta go, Bone.

So have you settled on a topic? Well, it's a little early, Dad.

Well, what are your choices? [LAUGHS] Uh, Dad, you know how you always said you never wanted to push me? Well, you're pushing me.

Did you tell Dad about all the money you stole from us? What? Uh, no, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Just between you and me, I'm worried about her.

Did you spend all that money at the arcade? Ben, of course, has several cylinders misfiring.

You were down at the arcade playing video games? Uh, that's a very complicated question, Dad.

Try me.

I was definitely not playing video games.

But you were there.

For a very short time.

-With my money.

-And mine.

-I won it.

-You stole it.

From a little kid too.

Hey, whose idea was it to bet? Dad, look, I tried to talk them out of it.

I mean, all I wanted to do was study.

So you conned your own family out of money? Well, I wouldn't put it exactly that way.

Mike, when are you gonna learn that conning people will only hurt you? -Oh, please.

-Mike, I'm talking about your future here.

You know that nine out of 10 con men end up running circus sideshows? I want something better for you than hanging out with bearded ladies and Renaldo the dog boy.

Okay, my topic is Indecent Exposure.

It's interesting to note that in some places in the world the only part of the female body that by law must be covered is the face.

If you've been to a convenience store lately you can clearly see where that law comes from.

Nah.

-Mom, what are you doing home early? -I need an insurance form.

My tooth is killing me.

Look.

Look what I got.

-What, Ben? -This.

Oh, boy, a rock.