ANNOUNCER [OVER RADIO]: Eleven-oh-five on a Christmas Eve morning.
And by this time tomorrow, fellow kiddies, it'll all be over but the exchanging.
[OVER RADIO] Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock Jacket.
Scarf.
[SNIFFING] Blue.
All right.
Shirt.
Long sleeve.
Wrong style, exchange value, 22.
50.
-Do one of mine, Mike.
-Ben, I'm a little busy right now.
-Just one.
-All right, okay, one.
What a bright time, it's the right time Underwear.
Again? How am I supposed to have fun with underwear? I don't know.
Wear it backwards.
Where is this thing? -Do another, Mike.
-Ben, do you mind? I'm looking for the compact disc player I've hinted about.
Just one more, Mike.
Just one more, please.
All right, all right, all right.
-Socks.
-Socks? What the heck is going on around here? Hey, don't you let Santa catch you peeking.
He'll leave a lump of coal in your stocking.
I'm sure I'll have plenty of other socks.
Say, Dad, by chance, would you need a hand carrying all the other gifts to the tree? -The other gifts? -Like all the toys I asked for.
Why do I get the feeling neither of you understands the first thing about the true spirit of Christmas? It's like I've been saying all day, Ben, it's not what we get for Christmas it's what we give.
I will have a very merry Christmas no matter what I get under that tree even if it's not the CD player that's on sale at Crazy Harry's Computer and Stereo City for only $150.
Tsk.
You know, Mike, there are kids in this world who are worried about more than whether or not they get a stereo.
Which they would probably trade in a minute happily just to have what you already have, which is a family that loves you almost as much as you love yourself.
There, you happy now? You made him mad.
A reindeer.
Heh.
And a star, and a Christmas tree, and a Christmas, um.
Bra? No, Mom, it's a modem.
A modem? Yeah, the thing I told you I needed for my computer that if I get will make this the happiest Christmas ever.
Maggie, Carol, come here.
Come look.
It's snowing harder than before.
Oh, isn't it beautiful? JASON: Happy? MAGGIE: Yeah.
I was thinking how perfect it is.
I have my family, a beautiful home, everybody's healthy.
[LAUGHS] A great dinner's almost ready.
It's Christmas Eve and it's snowing.
I can't think of a single other thing we need.
A modem might come in mighty handy.
Oh, not you too, Carol.
Not me too what? Seems like the only thing you care about is whether you get this present you want.
Ha! I was only commenting that if I'm lucky enough to get a modem for my computer I'd be more than willing to share it with Mom who could use it by tying into virtually any database in the entire planet.
How could I have misjudged you? Oh.
Look at this, it's snowing harder.
Oh, isn't it beautiful? Beautiful? Mom, the roads are getting bad.
Where do you have to go on Christmas Eve that's more important than your family? Nowhere.
I was just thinking of my dear old dad.
Where does he have to go? Crazy Harry's Computer and Stereo City Christmas Eve Blowout.
Come on, are you guys getting a kickback from this man or what? Ho-ho-ho.
Boy, have I got great news.
You know how you have been saying the meaning of Christmas has got nothing to do with presents and other stuff? We talked about how sharing and giving are more important than getting.
Yeah, well, I was in the dumpster behind the pizza place around the corner and-- Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Ben, what were you doing in the dumpster? Christmas shopping for Mike.
Ben, your news? Yeah, well, I met this kid and I invited her home for Christmas Eve dinner.
What did you do? I brought her home so we could all share the joy of giving.
Hey, kid.
-Mom, this is nuts.
-This is going to ruin my entire Christmas.
You're just too young to be inviting strangers.
We can give her everything, because she doesn't have anything.
Isn't this fantastic? Ben, we thought you understood that if anytime a stranger should come up to you for any reason-- That you should have nothing to do with them.
I know.
Honey, when we're in the city and someone comes up to me and asks me for money, what do I do? -You keep walking.
-Right.
And Dad gives them the money.
-What? -We can talk about this later.
Ben, the point is, well, you're still a young boy and if somebody asks you for something you're just too young to decide for yourself whether they're needy or dangerous.
But she didn't ask me for anything.
-Well, how did you meet her? -I jumped on her head.
-What? -Well, as I was getting into the dumpster-- What was she doing in the dumpster? Waiting for the pizza place to throw out a pizza.
Oh, dear.
You know the fat guy at the pizza place with the funny mole with the hair growing out of it? Well, he came out and told us he was calling the cops.
Since it was snowing and she didn't have anything to eat or any place to stay, I invited her to come here.
That's what you guys would have done, right? Well, I don't-- -She maybe-- One of us-- -Well, not-- Jason.
Maybe.
-The john? -We don't have one.
No, it's down the hall, to your left.
How could you let her use our bathroom? Hey, I never use that bathroom.
Where is she? She didn't like the way Carol smelled, so she left.
-She's in the bathroom.
-Oh.
I'd better get some towels.
It seems as though Ben has presented all of us with quite a challenge.
So, what's gonna be his punishment? -I'm not punishing him.
-What? And the girl will be staying for dinner and spending the night.
[IN UNISON] What? Oh, come on, Dad, grow up.
Hey, Dad, there's a real fine line between being nice and stupid.
Where do you two get these kind of ideas? Where is the disinfectant? -Maggie.
-Yes? Would you explain to Carol and Mike how you feel? Oh, well, I agree with your dad that we should share our dinner with this girl.
-And let her spend the night.
-Oh, come on, Jason, grow up.
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