1
- [Objects rattle]
- Shh! You'll wake Lily.
[Whispering] How drunk are you?
I told you three times
- she's on that school trip.
- [Whispering] I'd feel more confident
- if you weren't also whispering.
- [Normal voice] Fair point.
[Normal voice] Are
Are you wearing lipstick?
- Hm?
- Am I wearing nail polish?
So, we kind of had a crazy night out.
It started off at this little
under-the-radar speakeasy I heard about.
Uh, he Googled "cool bars near me.
"
Anyway, we met a group of 20-somethings
that took a shine to us.
They introduced us to the
world of underground parties
and $18 cocktails.
- It was so burnt.
- Lit.
- Lit.
- Lit.
I don't even remember half these bars.
Did we go to a hospital last night?
Okay, Grandma Tucker's
hangover remedy
Put a pat of butter underneath
your tongue, tip your head back,
and I'll pour the hot
sauce up your nose.
- [Cellphones chimes, vibrates]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- That's a group text from Binker.
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my gosh.
The gang wants to get back
together and party tonight.
And you said we'd never hear from them
after they saw us in that
horrible Denny's lighting.
Okay, we have to play this
exactly right
We don't want to come off too eager,
but we also want to let
'em know we're down to mob.
- [Groaning] Oh, my God.
- Cam, you know our rule,
we never go out two nights in a row.
- Yeah, I know, but this is
- We're already pushing it
by going to that lecture series tonight.
What lecture series?
- [Mug thuds]
- Alan Greenspan's top aide.
We bought the season pass
so we'd get premium seating
to "A Night of Sarcasm
with Fran Lebowitz.
"
- [Cellphones chimes, vibrates]
- [Gasps] Oh, everyone's in.
Look at all those thumbs of colors.
They're so woke.
[Cellphones chimes, vibrates]
"We're out.
Catch you next time"?
Mitchell.
How could you?
Storm out softly.
You'll wake Lily.
Phil: Morning, honey.
Don't mind all the Caltech gear.
I figured I'd surprise Alex at
school and take her to lunch.
Surprise her?
At the end of the semester?
Honey, she's probably
in the middle of exams.
She's gonna be
thrilled.
Have you ever seen a video of yourself
wearing something you didn't
realize was unflattering?
Well, that happened to me
recently, and
it was my personality.
For centuries,
man has longed to rule the air
like the majestic squirrel.
The wait ends today.
Nope.
Luke: Uh, but what if we
- Doesn't matter.
- Alex: Hey, Mom.
I can pull this off, right?
- Let me.
- Oh.
[Doorbell ringing]
Ah, we're not home.
[Door slams shut]
I made a decision to be less negative.
It's the new me,
the girl who says "yes.
"
Friend went to Mexico for the weekend.
I'm finding the level.
Crockett and Tubbs, you look snazzy.
Thanks I think.
I'm trying to step up my game.
I started seeing someone from work.
Oh, honey.
I don't know
if I think that's such
a good idea that
Never mind.
I approve.
[Dog food pouring]
I doubt my mom would approve
if she knew the whole story.
[Birds chirping]
Woman: Pool boy.
I need more towels.
Right away, ma'am.
Done.
I just approved another design.
The most luxurious dog bed yet.
I call it
The Top of the Bark.
Gloria: Ah, that's nice that you can
run your new company at home
in clothes that you
can only wear at home.
When men get to a certain age,
they stop trying.
I've seen it before.
First, it starts with the clothes,
then the body, then the brain.
But I can't say anything to Jay,
because when it comes to his appearance,
he's very sensitive.
Mi amor, I'm back.
- Welcome home.
- [Gasps]
[Chuckles] You hate it, right?
I'll shave it.
It's a joke.
Stupid!
Good dawning, all.
Jay: What am I looking at?
Is the vet worried you're
gonna bite yourself?
It's a traditional Tudor collar.
I'm pledging my school's
Elizabethan Society,
and I have to wear this
as a hazing ritual.
I don't hate it.
I think it makes your head
look like one of those fancy cookies.
I also have to recite several
Shakespearean monologues
and festoon our dining hall
with some bawdy bunting.
What happened to hazing?
It used to be macho stuff, you know,
like making a guy drink a
shot out of your belly button
or passing an orange around
only using your butt cheeks.
Look.
It's one of the most
selective groups on campus.
I don't want to jinx it,
but a week from now, I could be learning
- the steps of the secret minuet.
- Ooh.
This is what happens when you
eliminate campus bullying.
Jay, what do you think?
We'll go out for a nice lunch,
dress up a little bit.
This feels like an attack.
All right, that's as gentle as I can go,
I am Colombian, not Canadian.
I got an e-mail from the club.
The older players have
taken over the driving range
for bocce weekday mornings.
So what? You can play golf later.
No, we got a whole group
the Sunrise Swingers.
We meet there at 6:00, hit a bucket.
One of the gals is making up tank tops.
Oh, yay.
More casual clothes.
No, I'm going down there,
get the support
of some of the other golfers.
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