Oh, good.
You're up.
It is such a beautiful day.
Let's go have brunch somewhere outside where I can wear my new sunglasses.
Ew, gross! What happened to you? I don't feel good.
I'm hot.
Now I'm cold.
Oh, no.
And we have that concert tonight.
I know, but, honey, that's the furthest thing from my mind, okay? Why me? We had amazing seats for Lady Gaga and he gets sick.
I've been looking forward to that concert for months.
It's the one gay cliché I allow myself.
Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey Okay, that's it! No more fighting! No more fighting! For the rest of your lives you are not allowed to yell at each other.
- But you're allowed to yell at us? - Yes, Alex, I am.
Because I feed you and I clothe you and I pay the mortgage.
Whoa! Pretty sure old Dad deserves a shout-out right about now.
- Phil! - Sorry.
Should've taken the temperature of the room first.
What's up? - I'm dealing with a lot - Luke and Manny barged into our room while we were changing the little pervs.
Can I just say, in Europe, this would be no big deal.
Yeah.
You can see me in my underwear whenever you want.
Here.
I'll make it even.
No.
Hey, Luke! Luke! Luke! Luke! Keep your pants on! Girls! Stop getting so hysterical over everything! Come on! Now grow up a little.
I need things to start changing around here or I will change things, okay? There will be no more TV and no Internet and no whatever else I can think of.
May I have a word with you, Phil? I'd rather not.
- What was that? - Nothing.
- Phil.
You sold me out behind my back.
- No! It's just that sometimes you can get a little intense.
I feel like I need to swoop in to let the kids know they're still loved.
I could kick you.
Honey, these are just the parts that we're playing.
Am I wrong, or has it been working? I feel like it's been working.
I am tired of being the bad cop.
You need to discipline them sometime and let me swoop in with all the love.
Shouldn't we stick with the stuff we're good at? Oh, my God.
This bathroom is disgusting.
The girls told me they would clean it days ago.
I can't yell at them about it one more time.
You handle it.
I would, but I promised Luke and Manny I'd take them go-karting for their good report cards.
What was good about Luke's report card? He didn't lose it.
Let me take them.
Yes, let me take them.
You stay here, hound the girls about cleaning up this mess and I will take Luke to do something fun.
But I want to go go-karting.
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
This is happening.
Boys.
Hey, guys, guess who's taking you go-karting today.
Me.
Why? Are we in trouble? No.
You're not in trouble.
Today's just all about having fun.
And you know what? Go-karting's just the beginning.
- What else are we doing? - Whatever you want.
- I want to bring Dad.
- Well, tough.
You can't.
He's doing something else.
Good-bye.
We will be back in a few hours.
Whoa, whoa.
Where are you guys going? I am taking Alex to the movies and then I'm going to the mall.
Oh, fun.
That sounds like fun, doesn't it, Phil? I'm not much of a shopper, but it would depend on - Clean the bathroom.
- Oh.
Uh, girls, how about you clean your bathroom before you go? It'd really help your mom out.
Oh, no.
It's not about what Mom wants.
Your mom is cool, very cool with whatever.
It's about what Dad wants.
Dad wants to go go-karting.
I would really like it if you would clean your bathroom.
- But my movie - Why do we have to do it now? Because Claire says so.
Because I say so and because I'm your dad and I'm older than you and I call the shots around here.
- Right? - Yes, you do.
This is so unfair.
- Come on, guys.
Let's go have some fun.
- Ow! You're hurting me.
- Aw, you're fine.
- Ow! - Have fun, guys.
- Let's go, let's go! Ow! So how does this usually start? - Good morning, Mr.
Pritchett.
- How ya doin', sport? I didn't know who that was.
I never do.
At least once a month, I find a total stranger sitting in my kitchen.
Gloria collects every kind of stray looking for work, money you name it.
She's got a big heart.
It's the one thing I'd like to change about her.
Hey, a dog.
That's new.
That was Mr.
Pritchett.
Oh, Jay, there you are.
Come.
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