So, the rate of diffusion equals something times the square root of something I give up.
Aw, so close! - Shut up! - Don't worry.
You'll get it.
You know, a lot of famous scientists are women.
They're fat though, right? Come on, Alex.
It's time for your cello lesson.
How's the tutoring going? Are you familiar with the term "throwing good money after bad"? Are you familiar with the term "Dunphy, party of one"? Because you will be.
- Girls.
- Haley's coming along really well, Ms.
Dunphy.
Good! The key is to take a lot of little breaks so you don't get frustrated and want to quit.
Got it.
I was talking to David.
Come on, sweetie.
I'm just saying, she's never gonna get a job.
And how do we know the right Middle Eastern businessman wouldn't treat her great? I left my shopping list inside.
For the record, we thought she could live with you.
Like I'm gonna tell any of you where I live.
Oh.
Haley! What? We only do this when I get one right.
Mama should be here by now.
I wonder what's keeping her? Cam, that depends.
Did she take her jalopy or one of them new fancy flyin' machines? Missouri's more cosmopolitan than you give it credit for.
It's got a very vibrant cowboy poetry scene.
Not sure you're making the point that you think.
That's her.
Come on.
Look alive.
Look alive.
- Mama! - My baby! Oh, little boomer! Oh, puppy kiss! - Mitchell, get over here! - Oh! Hey, Barb! My baby's baby! - Ohh! Oh-ho-ho! - Oh, yeah! Well, I don't wanna overstate this but my mom is the greatest woman that ever lived.
Cam loves his mom.
She raised four kids, two barns and a whole lotta hell.
That sounds like a country song.
And that song would be called "The Greatest Woman That Ever Lived.
" Cam loves his mom.
Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey .
From the minute I met Barb she has been open and loving and caring.
Oh, I have missed these shoulders.
Ohh Aaah! If I had one complaint and I do it's the inappropriate putting of her hands on my body.
Hey, Barb.
Got you the cranberries you wanted for the stuffing.
Oh, bless your heart.
Mmm-mmm-mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm! Let me get in there and help ya.
Ohh.
Ohh! Ohh! - And a horsie bite! - Ohh! This is how I like to cuddle.
It's-it's been going on a long time.
Jay, you wanna go to the mall with me? No, actually, my stomach's a little funny today.
Oh, I am so sorry, papi.
Maybe we'd stop first at the crib store and you lay down and I buy you a little dress, hmm? Gloria thinks Americans are babies.
Well, in Colombia we couldn't go run to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.
Okay, good.
Jay, what are your symptoms? Nausea? Bloating? What did I say about getting off that crazy doctor Web site? I'm just worried about Jay.
Stomach pains can mean a lot of things: Intestinal blockage - Do you have a fever? - Stop it! Manny, he's fine.
- Tell him you're fine.
- I'm fine.
- Okay, good.
Get in the car.
- Uh, home fine, not mall fine.
Jay, you know what happens when I shop angry.
- I'll clear a space.
- Mmm.
- I'm not loving your color.
- Go play.
Don't be a hero.
So, dumb guys go for dumb girls and smart guys go for dumb girls? - What do the smart girls get? - Cats, mostly.
So, Haley, how long have I been paying this guy to make out with you? Uh, about a week.
First it was just to shut him up, but now I'm starting to like him.
If you really like him though, you have to break up with Dylan.
What? No! Believe me.
And it's best for everybody if you just do it quickly.
I can't believe we're having this conversation.
He's like part of the family.
Trust me.
It's the right thing to do.
Just end it.
Okay, but be gentle.
Boys are surprisingly sensitive at that age.
- Water polo girl story.
- Yes, I'm gonna tell the water polo girl story! - 'Cause it hurt! - Mmm.
Okay, so I'm working in the principal's office.
She walks in, hair all silver from the chlorine tells me she wants her varsity jacket back.
I tear up a little.
Then I tear up a lot.
I'm begging, I'm begging.
At some point I realize I'm sitting on the button to the high school intercom system.
Yuk it up, ladies.
Wasn't funny then.
Is not funny now.
It was traumatic, Haley.
Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Concannon did me.
Honey that was a long time ago.
- I loved her.
- Okay.
I know.
You know what? Maybe I'll call Dylan after he talks to Haley.
He's gonna need someone to lean on.
That someone should not be his ex-girlfriend's father.
Honey, when Dylan is out of her life, he should be out of ours.
You've always hated Dylan.
I have not always hated Dylan.
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