- Don't ask.
- Don't tell.
It's probably obvious anyway.
I was up all night crying.
I'll see if she's here.
Gloria? Sarah Fink, my lab partner who I hoped one day would be my love partner.
I caught one of my so-called friends hitting on her and now she's like the fetal pig we once so happily shared cold, unresponsive, heartless.
You got two choices You can mope your way up those stairs and soak in a pity bath or you can pick yourself up march into that school and act like you don't even know that girl.
[Sighs] Thanks.
If Mom asks, I borrowed her tub pillow.
Jay, don't forget to drop Joe at Mitch and Cam's later! What time are they expecting me to, uh Oh, what the hell? Isn't it cute? Last night when I went to do my nails the girls did it just for fun.
What's fun about a lifetime of gender confusion? It's the same as when you took him to the Dodgers game and brought him back with that Dodgers cap.
You think? Or is it different in every conceivable respect? And don't forget that Phil is gonna be meeting you at Mitch and Cam's to help you bring Lily's princess castle here.
She's outgrown it, but Joe loves that thing.
- Ay, don't make that face.
You're gonna bring it, right? - Sure, honey.
Okay.
Hold him.
I picked a fine time to run out of lavender bath beads.
I wanted two rough-and-tumble boys.
I got a Manny and a pedi.
Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey She's my first girlfriend, really.
This time tomorrow, she'll be in our living room if we can fit her through the doorway.
[Claire] Okay, I feel like I have to ask.
Dad's about to buy a Miss Pac-Man.
"Ms.
" What was our struggle for? And not just any Ms.
Pac-Man, but an original 1982 fully reconditioned podium-style unit.
- Mmm.
- With original coin return.
- Mmm.
- They're even throwing in the stool.
- Mmm.
- Come on! Oh, you know, you're right.
It's stupid.
Just be taking up space we need for things we actually use, like the piano.
- Oh, wait.
- What's going on with you? I have a throbbing headache.
It's making it hard to Pretend that you're sick? Yeah, you just ate a bushel of cereal.
Check the structural integrity of the trophy case, bitches 'cause Mama's bringing home some hardware! Awards day at school the one day of the year Alex has some real swagger.
Ironically, the one thing she's not good at.
When I say "trophy," you say "trophy"! Trophy! Trophy! - Can I get a wha-what? - What? - Bam! - [Glasses Clatter] Bam! Bam! I always worried that Alex winning all those awards would bother Luke, and looks like it finally did.
Can't be easy growing up in the shadow of a superstar sister.
Look at Mitchell.
Bam.
Okay, do you have any queens? Yeah, two big ones.
Okay, you know what? It was funny the first time.
Now it's just getting mean.
- [Thud] - What was that? Mr.
Polasky, our upstairs neighbor died last week.
He was 93, and he'd been sick for a while.
Yeah, and we tried cheering him up with a "Get well" sign in the front yard.
- Okay.
How's that look? - Looks great.
- Uh-huh.
- Honestly.
No! No.
[Gasps] [Mitchell] "Get well son"? Well, you know what? "Soon" seemed a little bossy anyway.
Mitchell and I have always discussed trying to buy the place in the event something happened to Stan.
We could use the extra space for a guest room or an office or maybe even A nursery.
I think I may want another child.
But I don't want to bring it up to Mitchell and put pressure on him because he's been so adamant about not wanting one.
The last thing he's thinking about is a Nursery.
Lately, I've been having stirrings but because it was such an emotional roller coaster in the past I don't want to bring it up unless I have some sort of indication That we're both on the same page.
That's why when Gloria asked if we'd watch Joe, I said, "Sure.
" It'd be a chance to remind Mitchell how nice it is to have a baby.
Hey! Claire Dunphy.
What can I do you for? It's not so much what you can do me for.
Sounded a tiny bit prostitute-y.
I'm sorry about that.
Actually, I do have a tiny favor to ask.
- You know, I love your family.
- Aw.
I mean, Haley, our homecoming queen.
And now Alex winning just about every academic award.
- I know.
- It's been an honor to teach the Dunphy children.
Well, today I'm here to talk about Luke.
- Is that the science rabbit? - That's my son.
Oh! Yes.
Of course.
That's sort of the point.
I think he's feeling a little bit overlooked.
I was wondering if you could just, you know toss him one of those awards today.
Just [Clicks Tongue] Well, I'm afraid all of the award winners have already been decided.
- [Sighs] - Yeah.
But, hey, if it makes him feel better he was in the running for the integrity award.
- He just got edged out by - Scott Wheeler? That little weasel's a narc.
Halloween carnival, 2008 [Mockingly] "Mrs.
Dunphy's grape juice smells like medicine.
" It was a long morning.
It would mean so much to him.
Well, Claire.
That wouldn't be fair.
I know.
I'm sorry.
- [Groans] I'm so sorry.
- [Chuckles] I-I-I really am.
So embarrassing.
Maybe there's some sort of, um I don't know, like, a a donation or something I could give to the auto shop to help 'em grease the wheels.
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