by ashirogi27 Imagine you're a teenager You place your shiny, hard-earned nickel into the coin slot.
Think of it.
All your favorite bands playing all their greatest hits at any time you want.
You make your selection, guiding your chosen 45-RPM disc onto the magical turning table, center stage.
Then, with the gentle noise, an arm holding the needle lowers itself and finds its way into the groove.
You turn around, knowing the song you've chosen more than anything else twirls the world what you're all about! (Song: Jammie Lad) I'm a jammie lad I've got the smashing bird And my trousers are mobbed and groovy Hmm This leads directly to the 1960's.
Oh, well, time to get this beaut to the antique shop.
Ta, boys! All your favorites bands playing all their greatest hits any time you want.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Hey, where's Perry? Morning, Agent P.
We have a situation.
The royal Princess Baldegunde from Drusselstein is in town.
She's here to give the Drusselsteinian Favorite Son award to Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz during the unveiling of the new Danville Opera House.
We assume Dr.
Doofenshmirtz will do something to disrupt the ceremony.
He's been buying up all the claw machines in the Tri-State Area.
We don't know exactly what his plan is, but do the math.
Princess, Opera House, claw machines, stuffed animal.
You put that together and you get a Claw-Princess-Animal Uh, Stuffed-Claw-Houseâ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
.
Or aâ Or a Singing Animal Clawâ A Singing Claw Clawpera House Clawing Stuffy Stuffness! Clawing House with aâ It's terrifying.
You must stop Doofenshmirtz and make sure the princess is safe.
We don't actually have a photo of her, but whatever, she's a 15 year-old girl, they all pretty much look alike.
Carl, put up a picture of a 15 year-old girl! Uh, now put a crown on her.
There! There's your princess.
Oh wait, sir, I found a picture of the actual princess.
All right, put it up there.
Oh! Wow, what are the odds? Well, it is a cartoon, sir.
What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall, Carl? Sorry, sir.
At 2 o'clock, you have Gala Ball.
At 2:30, you have Premiere Gala.
At 3 o'clock, you have Gala-Gala Oxen Free.
Yes, yes.
But when do we make shopping at fun American mall time? Well, we have eleven minutes until gala gathering, so maybe we make six minutes for American shopping at mall.
Oh, thank you, Royal Fake Daddy Chaperone Servant Guiserblint! Ah, Stacy, I tell my mom I'm heading to the mall to get some makeup and she hands me a list of other stuff I have to get.
Why do I have to do everything? Shop at the mall, bust my brothers.
Technically, you don't have to bust your brothers.
Oh, really, Stacy? Well, they're not gonna bust themselves! Oh, great! A sale.
Now guess who's gonna have to go in there and try stuff on? Call you later, Stace.
Since I have to do everything! You are my doppelgänger! Your doppel-who? My mythological exact twin! My double who walks Earth same as me.
Whoa! Cool! I wonder if I have a doppelgänger, too.
Yes, that is me.
We are for each other doppelgängers.
Wait a second.
Does this mean if we accidentally touch, we'll rip apart the very fabric of the universe? Maybe.
We live! I am Princess Baldegunde of Drusselstein.
And I am Candace of Flynn.
We should hang out today and make freaking out on unsuspecting passersby.
I'd love to, but I gotta finish shopping and get back to my brothers who are making some impossible thing in the backyard.
You make life like American teenage girls on TV! For me, I do nothing, because everything is done for me at clap of hands.
Yes, Your Highness? No, no, sorry.
You may go.
I may go.
See? I never get to do anything for myself.
And I have to do everything for myself.
I got it! Let's go to the laundromat and fill the dryers with cheese! What? No! Let us trade lives.
Oh, I thought for sure on same page, we were.
Hm.
Come, Candace of Flynn.
Oh, trade lives! Yeah, good.
Wow! Never before has such cheap fabric touched royal skin.
This is like I'm wearing a cloud of butter.
Say, don't princesses need to know a lot of manners and stuff? Nope.
All you need is this.
They come! Remember, clap clap.
Good luck.
Did you enjoy your six minutes in the mall, Your Royal Highness? Yes I am.
Bring me a glass of water and a cracker.
Okay Bring me an X-ray of a kangaroo with three legs.
No, no.
The kangaroo has three legs.
Ah! There you go.
I guess we could send out invitations, but that's the good thing about a giant jukebox.
You build it, the party comes to you.
Pinnayus and Ferb! Just look at you two! You two are my younger brothers! And of course, I am Candace, your big sister, am I not? Yes Yes is correct! And shall we play together today, yes? Hm, sure.
We're gonna construct a giant jukebox here in the backyard.
Oh, goody! Giant construction project is my most favorite game! Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? Today, we shall make play here in the backyard as constructor persons.
And we shall make a giant-sized jukebox.
It is a most joyful way for all of us to make play, is it not? I'm outta here.
Doofenshmirtz in a blimp again Ah, Perry the Platypus.
It's ironic that you look like a stuffed animal in one of those claw machine games.
And by ironic I mean totally flat-out ronic.
And speaking of claw machines, I've gathered up all the arcade claw machines in the Tri-State Area to make one giant Super Claw inator.
My fascination with these started when I was just a little boy.
Back in Gimmelshtump, one day, when I was walking through the Claw Machine District, something caught my eye.
In this machine that usually just has rocks in it, there was an actual teddy bear! Fortunately, I had with me my allowance, which I'd been saving for a whole year.
One three-cent coin.
I dropped it into a slot, then carefully maneuvered the claw toward the beckoning fuzzy grail! Odds were against me, but then it happened! The miracle! The claw grabbed the stuffed animal, it was mine! Then, like a knight of yore, I gallantly gave the prize to my beloved mother who immediately turned around and gave it to my brother, Roger.
I was crushed as I watched Roger produce a big red marker and write his name on the toy.
And then afterwards proceed to do the same to my mother, claiming both as his own, andâ Effectively shutting me out of the family dynamic.
So now, with my giant claw, I will wreak vengeance on my brother, and take away his giant Opera House! So, what's new with you? And where would you like your bucket of gold? Yeah, just put it there at the end.
Okay, you can go now.
Wow, I've been given all this power and how I've chosen to use it is to run through gold coins barefoot.
I'm a genius! Okay, now I hammer.
Hammer? Hammer? Your legs do not appear to be broken.
You are right! Broken, they are not! I can be fetching hammer for myself, can I not? Here I go! Never so much fun have I had! Wow! Candace really seems to be enjoying herself today.
And she seems to have acquired an upper-class Drusselsteinian speech pattern.
Yeah.
Let's just go with it.
Going to the Opera House Woot! Woot! C'mon, Perry, sing along! W-W-Wait.
What are you doing? Whoa! Got to reach controls! Woot! Woot! See? Everything works with the woots.
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