What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school? Look at it just lumbering around.
It defies all logic that thing.
Yeah, Rick, I get it.
We're surrounded by monsters.
That's kind of the reason why I want to leave.
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
Morty, you see this? You see what we just stumbled upon, Morty? Any idea what that is down there? The mega trees? That's right, Morty the mega trees with the mega fruit on them.
And that's what I'm talking about, Morty.
That's where my seeds are.
If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school.
All right, all right.
So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways? You ask a lot of questions, Morty.
Not very charismatic.
It makes you kind of an Under underfoot figure.
Just take these shoes, Morty.
They're special grappling shoes.
When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left.
These things really bring it all together.
Aah! You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on! I am not putting my father in a home! He just came back into my life, and you want to grab him and stuff him under a mattress like last month's Victoria's secret? I told you I was ordering you something for Valentine's day.
More importantly, your father is a horrible influence on our son.
Everything cool in here, Beth? - It's fine, Davin.
- Okay, cool.
You know, we did something great today.
There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse.
Since we're fighting, if you ever have an affair with that guy, I will come to the hotel room and blow my brains out all over your naked bodies.
Look, I appreciate the stress you're under, but Morty was having trouble in school way before my dad moved in, and the only influence I can see Rick having is that, for the first time in his life, Morty has a friend.
Well, maybe you're right.
Uh, yeah, maybe I am.
I'm my father's daughter.
I'm smart.
Why do you think I'm a heart surgeon? Horse heart surgeon.
Hello? Mrs.
Smith? This is principal Vagina, no relation.
I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon? Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now.
You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work.
Yeah, look I turned mine on.
I had no problem getting down here.
It was a leisurely breeze.
I'm in a lot of pain, Rick.
Yeah, I can see that.
But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty? Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster.
Y-you're like Hitler, but but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.
Okay, hold on just a second, Morty.
Ooh.
Ohh.
Ooh.
Wow, Rick.
That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly.
I mean, I've never felt so good in my life.
Thank you.
Don't worry about it, Morty.
Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy? Sure thing, Rick.
Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore.
The stuff was all over the place, Morty.
Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.
There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up.
The dimension I visited was so advanced, they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever.
I was the only old person there, Morty.
It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around.
I-I was fascinating to them.
There were a lot of attractive women there, Morty, and they they they they all wanted time with me.
I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left, Morty.
- It's got no charge left.
- What?! It's as good as garbage, Morty.
It's not gonna work anymore, Morty.
Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good.
W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now.
How are we gonna get back home? There's ways to get back home, Morty.
It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle.
We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.
Uh-oh.
When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.
In my butt? Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.
Oh, geez, Rick.
I really don't want to have to do that.
Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty.
Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty.
And they'll fall right out of mine.
I've done this too many times, Morty.
I mean, you're young.
You've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable.
You got to do it for grandpa, Morty.
Y-you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.
- In my butt? - Come on, Morty.
Please, Morty.
You have to do it, Morty.
Oh, man.
The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.
What? Why didn't you notify us? I done been notifying you.
Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather? Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating? Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school.
Summer? What kind of God lets this happen? We had a little incident.
A student was frozen to death.
And there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place.
I won't let them.
The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
So, I told him, "give me the blimfarx," you know? This this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency.
It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like, that's what we eat on girvonesk.
The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
I don't like it here, Morty.
I can't abide bureaucracy.
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