Who wants lemonade? Oh, yeah.
Mmm! Oh! Delicious! Beth you're a treasure.
I have a Beth just like you in my reality, except you know what? She's not as brilliant or attractive.
Aw.
Thank you.
Oh! She did! She did it! H-hello? - Hey, Jerry, it's Rick.
- Rick! Hey.
What's -- what's up? So, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, so Morty and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole.
- What?! - Is that cool with you, dawg? Rick, no! - Morty!! - We got it.
The call's coming from inside the house Look at his face! You dummy! Can't believe our daughter married you.
Too easy! The Ricks are probably gonna waste some time messing with Jerry.
They won't be able to help themselves.
But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us.
Phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls.
- Anything else? - Yeah, more phone sticks, please.
Right away, sir.
You know, Rick, when I first saw all those Ricks and Mortys, I thought, "Gee, that kind of devalues our bond".
But then I realized it just means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines.
Yeah, it's got to be that way.
- You're a camouflage.
- Camouflage? What are you talking about, Rick? Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius.
The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible.
See, when a Rick is with a Morty, the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh Morty waves.
Um Because o-our personalities are so different? Oh, shit, dawg.
My portal gun was hacked remotely, Morty-- obviously by the real killer, to frame me.
But I was able to trace the signal.
Come on.
Let's go.
- Uh-oh.
- Excuse me.
We've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals to this exact location.
They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, I'm gonna mark us each with a red "X" right now.
That way, if someone has a gun and we both tell you to shoot the other one because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying.
Hey, check it out.
Damn it! - Hey, you didn't pay your bill! - The red "X"! Red "X"! Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty? Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time.
You don't have to keep saying it over and over.
Man, this place is way off the grid.
This guy does not want to be found.
Well, if he's a Rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? I mean, isn't that what Mortys are -- human cloaking devices? Morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is.
Oh, my God, Rick, look! There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building! Not people, Morty -- Mortys.
Oh, God! W-w-why would somebody do this? It's horrible! Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, but you get -- you get a whole matrix of Mortys and put them in agonizing pain, that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks [beep].
I fiddled with a concept like this once.
On paper, Morty.
On paper.
I wouldn't do this.
It's barbaric overkill.
I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, five Mortys and a jumper cable.
Which I also wouldn't do! I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship.
- Coffee time! - Yeah! Yo, yo, yo, yo! That's what I like to hear! - Hi, Jerry.
- Leave me alone.
I'm working.
Oh, you are? W-w-w-what do you do? I-I'm -- I'm in between advertising jobs.
Advertising? Wow! So, people need help figuring out what to buy, and then y-y-you help 'em? Well, it's a little more complicated than that.
Well, I mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy who really has it all together.
Dude, are you -- w-- you're being a dick, right? Oh, gosh, I-I hope not.
I wouldn't want to offend you in any way.
You're really a Rick? Y-- of course I am -- just as much as my Morty's a Morty.
Hey, he looks a lot like Eric Stoltz from the movie "mask.
" You know, the one with Cher in it? That's right, Jerry! He -- he's from a reality where everyone is Eric Stoltz "mask" people.
He's Eric Stoltz mask Morty.
They assigned him to me because I never had any kids of my own.
But if I did, boy, I'd love them if they were as smart and as successful as you are, Jerry.
Hey, get a load of this.
Jerry's hanging out with doofus Rick.
This is perfect.
I'm not doofus Rick! I'm Rick j19-zeta-7! Oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop? Jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right? Hey, I don't eat poop! Y-you guys are always so mean to me.
I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Jerry.
I'm the worst Rick of them all.
According to who -- other versions of you? If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you got to stop listening to yourself.
Wow.
You really are wise, Jerry.
I-I-I guess that's why you work in advertising.
The fact that you feel that way makes you the best Rick of them all.
You don't care about me at all! I'm no different than that jacket you've got on! Y-y-y-- o-or your stupid portal gun! I'm just a tool! I-I-I'm just an object! Hey, it's your choice to take it personally, Morty.
Now, for the love of God, be quiet.
The point of this is to get the drop on the guy.
You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! I'm more than a human shield! Yeah, that's right.
You are.
You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, because you're as dumb as I am smart, which is why when I say "shut up," it's really good advice.
Great.
Nice work, Morty.
Ooh.
Look at you, C-137.
You -- aren't you a tough customer.
The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude.
Not in this dimension, it isn't.
In fact I invented it.
Nobody else has ever even done it here before.
Well, la-di-da.
Hey, that's mine! I don't like the look of that Rick, Morty.
- We got to escape.
- I'm not gonna help you, Rick.
- Y-you're a monster.
- Don't be Rick-diculous, Morty.
Will you -- will you stop saying that? It's stupid.
Take his Morty away.
Come with me.
Yeah, gladly.
Geez, man.
Ricks, huh? Hey, man, you seem to know how this place works.
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所属电视剧:Rick and Morty (2013)
10. Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind 全部台词 (一共 4 页)
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