10. Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind (第1季)【完整台词】

Is there any way we could shut down that grid and rescue all those Mortys outside? It would be pointless.

Mortys have no chance of defeating a Rick.

In here.

- Ah.

Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, yeah.

Looks like payday at Neverland ranch in here.

Zing! - That guy got it.

- Unh-unh-unh, Rick.

Quiet.

You're missing my symphony.

Hey, I'll take it over Mumford & Sons.

Zip! This guy is on it! He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick.

That's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds.

You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are.

I wanted you to find me.

We're not so different, you and I.

Yeah, duh! See this right here, Rick? I crunched the numbers.

I created a spectrum of all the Ricks.

I listed them out from most evil to least evil.

Here's where I am.

And look it -- right here's where you are, Rick.

This guy right here -- super-weird.

I get it.

So you want me to team up with you to take down the council of Ricks, right? Is that where you're going with this? 'Cause that's where I'd be going.

Please.

I think I'm doing pretty good on my own.

I'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain and then kill you.

Okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate and just a tad of chlorified tartrate Ovenless brownies! Mmm.

Mmm! It's incredible what a gifted mind can accomplish when priorities are in order.

Well, come on.

I can't take all the credit, Jerry.

- It was your idea.

- Come here, Jerry! Hey, uh, come here.

I-I want to show you something.

Okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, but you're a genius scientist.

What do you think? See? There's little R2-D2s where the George Washingtons should be.

You know, Jerry, I'm not gonna tell you that these will increase in value or even hold their current value.

The truth is, you bought them because you like them.

They have value to you.

That's what matters.

- How long are you staying? - Until we find your Rick.

I found mine.

- Help! - There is no escape, my son.

We will find our peace in the next world.

So, what -- you're just gonna give up? We're giving in -- to the power of the one true Morty.

One day, he will return.

Praise the one true Morty.

Ugh.

All right, Mortys, listen up.

My name is Morty Smith, from earth dimension C-137.

I know you're scared, because I'm scared.

But that's no reason to accept our fate! We're Mortys! We're not defined by our relationships to Rick! Our destiny is our own! This sounds like something the one true Morty might say.

I'm sick of being a human shield.

I want to be a gardener! I want to write really crazy, intense action novels! I'm more than just a hammer! He is the one true Morty! Hooray! The one true Morty! Hey, keep it down! You've lived quite a life, Rick.

It's a real shame you're not gonna be around to see it through.

- You're crying? Over a Morty? - No, I'm just allergic to dipshits.

Ugh.

Pathetic.

We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, it's that Ricks don't care about Mortys.

Do your worst, you little bastards! Kill me! Do it! Do I-I-I-I-it! Morty! Thank God! Get me out of this.

Come on! You're lucky I'm not a Rick.

Point taken, but this is no time for arcs.

Oh! Yeah, hello.

Hey, what do me and O.

J.

not have in common? Huh? W-who is this? I found the real killer, bitch! Get over here! Yo, ding-dong, we're done here.

Time to go.

Well, Jerry, I guess this means goodbye.

W-w-well, does it have to? I mean, you -- you look just like Rick.

We could maybe, you know, get rid of him.

I'm not saying kill him, necessarily.

I -- I'm also not saying necessarily not kill him, but -- Jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work.

It's time to go back to our lives.

I love you, Jerry.

I love you.

Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! W-what -- w-what's gonna happen to all these Mortys? They'll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games, date girls.

Poor little rickless bastards.

Earth Rick C-137, the council apologizes for its false accusation, and in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, we would like to compensate you with this voucher for a free replacement Morty in the event that your current Morty should -- Uh, guys, not a good time.

Come on, Morty.

Let's hit it.

Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? I did a pretty good job back there for a human cloaking device.

Saved your ass.

All right, Morty.

Don't break an arm jerking yourself off.

Man, I can't believe you, Rick.

That right there, that w-- that was a great opportunity to show a little humanity, you know? - To connect with me a little.

- Hey, Morty, you want connection, go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb Ricks.

You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the rickest Rick there is.

And, you know, it would g-- Go without saying that the rickest Rick would have the Mortyest Morty.

- It would go without saying, huh? - Yeah, it would.

- Did you hear me say it? - Nah.

The Mortyest Morty.

Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster brown.

A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems.

It can be a real bad thing for everybody.

Oh, yeah? How's that? U-uh, I'll explain when you're older.

- What a mess.

- Pride cometh before the fall.

I guess he got what he deserved.

What is that? Hand me the laser difibulator.