11. Ricksy Business (第1季)【完整台词】

- Bye, mom! Bye, dad! - Drive carefully! Have fun, you two.

Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our Titanic -themed getaway.

Let's lose the 'tude, please.

It's supposed to be romantic.

Speaking of disasters, dad, we are leaving you in charge, here.

I know, c-can we wrap this up? Morty and I have some synthetic laser eels oxidizing in the garage.

Hey, don't blow me off.

I am drawing a line, okay? Any damage to this house or these children when we get back, and no more adventures with Morty.

Aw, geez, Rick.

If my mom's the one who's saying it, then you know it's pretty serious this time.

That's right.

Wait.

What? Listen, you have my word as a caregiver, everything's gonna be fine.

And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever.

It's like that old song "blomp blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop noop".

You guys know that song? From tiny rogerts? You never heard of it? You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s? No-nobody? A-all right, whatever.

Look, who cares? Just go on your stupid trip.

Not one thing out of place.

Not a single thing.

Well, we're past the point of no return.

I'm going to have a party.

Corrections by XhmikosR I found jello.

Can you sneak your mom's vodka? Yes, she does.

I saw it in your laundry room.

Listen, you can't both be in denial about it.

Okay, bye.

Summer, you can't throw a party! Remember what mom said? Yeah, if anything gets messed up, you and grandpa Rick get punished.

I'm only a human being, Morty.

Rick, tell summer she can't have a party! Uh, summer, you can't have a party.

Because I'm having a party, b-I-I-I-itch! Oh, what?! Rick, you can't! What do you mean you're having a party? Are some glip glops from the third dimension going to come over and play cards or something? "Glip glop?" You're lucky a traflorkian doesn't hear you say that.

Is that like their n-word? It's like the n-word and the c-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.

Listen, I think the three of us could just, you know, have a nice time, like just hanging out, and, you know, doing a little bonding and -- screw that.

This is my chance to gain some footing with the cool kids.

That's why you party? Boy, you really are 17.

Why do you party? To get wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son! Just keep your Sci-Fi friends away from my awesome ones.

Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away from my canapes.

After dinner, Titanic 2 will attach to the rail system near our replica iceberg, and the hydraulics encased in these tubes will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths.

A rail system seems archaic for an attraction this impressive.

Are you sure the ship will sink? I can assure you the ship will sink, as it has a thousand times before.

It is un-unsinkable.

Ooh! Look, it's the line for the bow! Jerry, I'd love to just kick back with a Margarita and read.

Do you mind if I skip the whole "king of the world" bit? Well, it's not the "king of the world" bit.

That's Jack and fabrizio.

This is where rose says, "I'm flying, Jack!" But whatever.

I can be the only one to do it alone.

Well, what about her? Excuse me, ma'am.

Would you like to take my place in line? I, uh -- I could get into trouble.

We won't tell.

So - You're a Titanic fanatic? - Oh, yes.

I've worked here since it opened, but I've never been able to participate.

Happy to help rose.

I love watching bukkake.

I mean, like, I don't know if I personally would ever do it Brad! Hey! Yo.

Brad is here! Quick, make my hair look drunk.

Check it out.

Tammy's already drunk.

Cool.

The beacon was activated.

Who is in danger? Ugh! Grandpa! Birdperson! I am pleased there is no emergency.

Oh, there's an emergency, all right.

A emergency! When's the last time you got laid, 'pers? It has been a challenging mating season for birdperson.

Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, playah.

Go have some fun out there birdp-- bird-- birdperson.

Oh, man, how many people did you invite, Rick? Uh people? Mm, six.

Yo! What up, my glip glops?! Oh, man! Oh! Y-y-you know there's a garbage, right? Hey, uh, what the hell?! Ooh.

That's why you never invite a floopy doop and a shmoopy doop to the same party.

Oh, oh, g-- oh, that's disgusting! You guys are in my parents' bed! Oh.

Sorry.

I'm not feeling too well.

I just needed to lie down for a bit.

Oh.

Okay.

S-s-sorry.

Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?! The thing people don't realize about the Gear Wars is that it was never really about the gears at all.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

No, no, to-totally.

- Rick, you got to stop -- - Morty! - Have you met gearhead? - Hey, how's -- Morty here, he -- he would love to hear all about the Gear Wars.

How familiar are you with the Gear Wars, exactly? Uh Not at all.

Oh, boy.

I envy you.

Okay, it was about Oh, hey, Morty! H-have you -- have you met my buddy scropon? Not again, Rick.

That last guy droned on for And meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed! Whoa, Morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed.

Have a little perspective.

Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro! Aw! Squanchy! Is there a good place for me to squanch around here? Squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man.

- Mi casa es su casa, dawg! - All right! I like your squanch! Uh, Rick, what exactly is "squanching"? Morty, listen -- we've had a lot of really cool adventures over the last year, but it's time to relax.

Yeah, if I relax now, there might not even be any more adventures! Jesus, Morty, you're bumming me out.

Can't we just pretend like everything's fine for a few hours, enjoy ourselves, and then worry about all this later? Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Rick.

You know, you like not caring about stuff.

You know, wh-wh-what's in this for me? For me? Jessica.

Knock it off, slow mobius! Ha ha! Sorry, dude! I'm just trying to show off my powers, bro! I can't believe she's here.

Well, what are you doing standing here, Morty? Go.

Talk to her.

Tonight, the only adventure you're on is your cusping manhood.

Oh, Rose.

Whee! Is that what I think it is? Yes, every couple gets to re-create Jack's drowning at the end of the movie.

It's so romantic.

I can't wait to do that with Beth.

I don't know, Jerry.

With all due respect, it seems like your wife may not be that interested.