Look, I'm not paying 70 smidgens for a broken defraculator.
That is multiphase quantum resonator.
- Well, does it defraculate? - No.
Then it's a broken defraculator.
Like you would even know dick about fraculation.
Your planet just got cellphones and the coverage still sucks! Yeah, yeah, and your species eat sulfur.
So lets say 60 smidgens.
I tell you what I'll do you a favor.
I throw in a fart.
Hey, Rick You think maybe I could get something from this place? Like a souvenir? Like just to have, like something cool, you know? Not here Morty.
We'll stop somewhere else, because you know, there is always another pawn shop.
OK, I just You know, I thought that robot over there, looked pretty cool, you know? Oh, it looks cool, huh? - That's why you want it? - Yeah, you know? I mean it's different from the stuff on earth.
And you know, you take me to all these crazy places across the galaxy and you know, I don't really have anything to to remember all those trips by.
It'd be kind of cool like a souvenir, you know? Like what if you passed away or died or something? I wouldn't even have anything to remember all the cool stuff we did, you know.
Okay, 60 for the resonator and my grandson wants the sex robot.
Corrections by XhmikosR So we're just going to pretend this isn't happening? I'm not saying that's a bad idea.
Just asking.
Rick, why did you let Morty bring that thing into our house? What do you want from me? He thought it looked cool, you know what I mean? Alright, back to back to back upstairs.
Well, I'm intervening.
Intervening with puberty? You'll turn him into Ralph Finnes in Red Dragon.
He is at that age, let's just be proud of him.
Jesus, did I really set the bar that low? Rick, could you come with me please? Quickly! OK, now if we here squeaking we intervene.
Where is the sex robot Morty? That is Gwendoline.
I mean the robot.
She started beeping, and then transformed and tried to fly away.
Strange.
That's usually the man's job.
You know what I'm talking about, Morty? Morty.
That's my catchphrase, remember? Remember how I cemented that catchphrase? Alright, alright seriously though.
Let me grab this thing.
Come on.
- Rascal.
- Okay unacceptable What is going on? Alright What is that? I think Morty's robot was designed for more than long weekends.
Genetic compiler, incubation chamber.
Yeah, this here is some kind of baby maker.
And that there is half Morty and half who knows what.
It's my bad guys I'll take care of it.
Hey listen, you guys quarantine the house when Summer brought olives from Mexico.
This thing could grow to the size of Delaware.
It might eat brains and exhale space AIDS.
We gotta be careful.
I lost the chance to be careful, Rick.
I'm a father now, you know? It's time for me to be responsible.
Isn't that right - Don't name it! - Morty Jr.
? Oh crap, he named it.
Well Dad, it's a living thing.
And it's half human.
And it was born on America's soil which entitles it Jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake.
Don't punish us for it.
Fine.
I'm gonna take this thing into my workshop, and do a little bit of investigating.
Do not let that thing out of your sight.
It looks harmless now, but it could grow into something dangerous.
- Like the Insane Clown Posse.
- Yeah, good one, Jerry.
wants its easy target back.
He is a like little me.
You don't think he'll turn into a monster, do you? They always do.
their "certain year called wanting its blank back" formula back.
Why, Jerry? Why expend the effort? Life is effort, and I'll stop when I die.
Out.
- What you doing? - Well, I can't solve the problem my way thanks to your family's primitive biological hang ups.
Gross.
I might have just touched one of Morty's loads.
But maybe I can find suitable parents for Morty Jr.
on this robot homeworld, which is Gazorpazorp in the Andromeda system.
- Scoot Summer.
- Don't you need a new companion now that Morty is in the family way? I don't do adventures with chicks, Summer.
Oh right, because there is something about having a wiener that would make me better walking through a hole? Oh crap.
Grandpa Rick! Help! Help! Grandpa Rick! Still think it's a good idea to go through a hole without a wiener? - I wanna go home! - Yeah, no duh.
Great, now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs.
You're doing great, Morty.
Really you think? I mean I'm not doing much of anything.
What do I do if it cries? Then you put it down and let it cry itself out.
Yeah, right.
We tried that technique on Summer and she is gonna end up stripping.
Isn't she? Yes she is.
She is gonna strip her attention because she was denied it.
Stop filling it with your own insecurity.
You're gonna turn it into Mort more more more of you.
Well, we can't all be raised like reptiles by a mentally-ill scientist.
What the Listen to me.
I am not rewarding this behavior.
Knock it off both of you! Give me him! Give me my baby! You're both nuts.
I'm gonna raise Morty Jr.
myself.
Where is your hands? There's your hands.
And that's how we play happy hands.
Oh, you are going to ruin that kid, Morty.
At least we can agree on that.
Thanks, dumb dumb.
I said "thanks, dumb dumb".
Go get more.
Summer, put your burqa on! That burqa is a human rights violation, and I spent a lot on this top.
Look, I'm trying to repair portal gun with with bunch of sex doll parts and I have to do it one-handed to keep these belushis from cutting you off.
The least you could do is be ashamed of your gender.
What's the deal with this place? Why is it such a sausage planet and how did such backwards idiots invent robots? Obviously at some point the Gazorpians became so evolved that they replaced females with birthing machines.
The resultant lack of distraction and handpecking allowed them to focus entirely on war, so they bombed themselves back to the stone age and now they just fight with each other over fake pussy with sticks and rocks all day long.
You think it's efficient to get rid of women? You ever see a line for the men's room? Are you hea Do you lis You hear me, summer? The plot thickens.
You might wanna cover your eyes, Summer.
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