3. Auto Erotic Assimilation (第2季)【完整台词】

Love Connection Experience Yeah, Morty.

Come together With love, connection, and experience - It's my favorite song.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, distress beacon! Yeah, baby! You're excited about that? The first rule of space travel, kids, is always check out distress beacons.

it's a ship full of dead aliens and a bunch of free shit! Whoa! it's a deadly trap, but I'm ready to roll those dice.

Seems like something terrible happened here.

Yep.

Cha-ching.

Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs, don't shy away from it.

Give one of them a shake.

Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship.

Uh, what's that? This'll make the cops write it up as a looting by the korblocks.

- That's horrible.

- I hear you, man.

Cops are racist.

Oh, hey.

You're alive.

Thank god.

Can you help us? Our planet was taken over by some kind of entity.

It absorbed the minds of our people.

We didn't notice until it was too late.

The people it takes over, they look like your friends, your family, your leaders, but they're not themselves anymore.

They're part of it.

Then how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you? Those two dingdongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing.

Hey, no! No, wait! Stop! Called it.

Hello, Rick.

Long time no see.

Unity? - Rick? - Grandpa? Oh, boy.

Uh These are my grandkids, Summer and Morty.

Summer, Morty, this is, uh, Unity.

We sort of used to, uh date.

Quite an operation you got going here, Une.

You're a whole planet now, huh? After we broke up, I spent some time wandering through space.

- Then I found this world - Where I was better able to focus on my passion for unification.

- You mean stealing people's bodies? - Summer, rude.

Why don't you two kids go run off and play with Unity while Unity and I do some catching up.

- Ugh.

- No, wait, Rick, aren't these people gonna barf into our mouths and absorb us? You're guests here on my planet.

You're free to be yourselves.

I've never been any good at disappointing Rick.

Well, now I'm going to barf.

Come on, Morty.

Jerry, what are you what are you doing in here? I'm trying to find our weed whacker, 'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

But you can't go in the garage when Rick's not here.

- I "can't"? - Well, he doesn't like it.

What's he gonna do? Crash rent-free at his other family's house? What is that supposed to mean? Your dad gets to walk all over us because of your abandonment issues.

He's playing you, shorty.

Oh, stop affecting that stupid hip-hop dialect.

Stop shifting the cross hairs to my ironic urban patois just because your relationship with your father is to' up from the flo' up.

What the hell was that? I don't know.

Let's just leave.

That is a hatch.

Your father put a hatch in my garage.

You don't know it was him.

Anyway, we're not supposed to be in here.

Obviously, neither is whatever's gurgling down there.

"World peace achieved.

" Nice.

Little weird to publish a paper about it for yourself, but hey.

So, what's next? After I become a type-one civilization, this world will be invited into the galactic federation.

Oh, goody.

From there, I'll have access to countless planets and species.

One by one, I will unify them, I will become the universe, and I will be what the single-minded once called the God.

I like that.

Oh, that's pretty sexy.

Hey, listen, where can we get a drink around here? Recreational substances were phased out here.

There's no need for escape from the self when your world is one.

Unity, Unity, who am I talking to? I watched you assimilate a whole police station just to get your hands on the evidence locker.

Rick, when we met, I was a young hive mind with the population of a small town.

People change Especially when I change them.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've grown.

Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

I have! See, I've I've reconnected with my family, right? Hm.

Why's that, I wonder? Maybe it's part of getting old.

Maybe I just missed being with a collective.

Yes, Rick.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Wait, wait.

Stop.

Hold it.

Not like this.

We need a hang glider and a crotchless uncle Sam costume, and I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads, and I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father.

Man, look at them go.

So coordinated.

What's your problem? They're making you into a Mount Rushmore.

They made burgers! Morty, open your eyes.

There is no "they".

These poor people's bodies are being used.

They're a planet of puppets.

- I can hear you.

- Ugh.

Well, it seems like everybody here's cool with it.

Except for all those redheads.

They seem like they're in a hurry to be somewhere else.

Balloon, Summer? Balloon, Morty? No, we don't want your dumb balloons, okay? We're bored.

Take us back to Rick.

Now's not a good time.