2. Rickmancing the Stone (第3季)【完整台词】

1 Ohh! Summer, next time we're hiding in a Colorkian echo nest, can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off? It's called "carpe diem," Morty.

Look it up.

- You look it up! Y-Y-You don't even You don't even know what it means! That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems.

Listen to your sister, Morty.

To live is to risk it all.

Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Jerry, I didn't see you there.

H-How much of that did you hear? All of it.

You were looking right at me.

I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids.

Cool.

Just stay in the driveway.

The killbots are live, and I took you off the white list.

W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right? Absolutely, Morty.

A-And your Mom's lawyer says if I can get enough in the settlement, he can help me sue for full custody.

Th-That'll be nice.

Uh, Summer, Dad's leaving.

- Bye, Dad.

Rick, didn't you say you needed my help on an adventure immediately somewhere else I don't care even if it might kill us? I did not, but if you're really that alienated, I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, or Olympic gymnastics trainer.

I'm ready when you are.

Bitch, I was ready yest Bye, sweetie.

Well, I-I better Sure.

Sounds important.

If you're looking for our kids, your father did a-a portal, uh Okay.

Wind: Loser.

What? Hello? Morty, shoot the Mohawk guy! - They all have Mohawks! - High fade, chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top.

Shoot him! Ah! Light them up.

Ahh! [], Get in the game, Morty! Give me your flask! Holy [], Summer for the win! I []ing love post-apocalyptic versions of Earth! Here we go! Isotope 322.

This stuff's so powerful, Morty, it makes Isotope 465 look like Isotope 317.

- Uh-huh, yeah.

Is it powerful enough to keep those guys from murdering us? Summer! - Hold on.

I want to try something.

Rick, can we not leave without my sister? Ugh.

You have infinite sisters, Morty.

I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day looking for another one.

"Sum-sum," let's go! Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting! Your blood will be my lotion.

Whoa.

That was cool.

Kill me, please.

Okay, but not because you told me to.

Summer! Okay.

Getting darker.

Jesus Christ.

Summer! Aw, come on.

Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes where I can see them.

I am Hemorrhage.

You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger.

We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together.

Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying? They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them.

They're basically pussies.

- What is your deal lately? All right, let's get sloppy.

Oh, whoa.

Uh, uh, what's, uh What's that little bauble you got back there? Th-Th-That's interesting.

That is our glowing rock.

We carry it with us for desecration, to remind us there are no gods.

Kids, weird pitch let's have this be our new life.

Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers! - Okay.

- What? Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers are going to what used to be Seattle to hunt what used to be people.

I'm going.

- Sounds good.

Stay hydrated.

Listen, Rick, Summer's been acting pretty crazy lately.

You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her.

And, you know, I don't think this is a great place for her to be right now.

Oh, get off your high horse, Professor Ski Lodge.

This world may be rough around the edges, but it's got its charms.

Bicep or quadricep? Uh bicep.

Seriously, Rick? Is it really easier to eat human flesh than to just tell me why we're still here? No.

Okay, I'll level with you.

You see that green rock, Morty? It's about 20 pounds of the stuff I was getting all hard for a flake of.

Isotope 322.

Well, having a 20-pound boulder of it is better than having a flake.

I can explain the math to you later, but Summer just ran off with strangers that have "Death" in their name, and the rest of their name was "Stalkers.

" Huh, could be therapeutic for her.

She has been acting pretty crazy lately, Morty.

I mean, her parents are going through a divorce Damn it, Rick, that's what I Fine.

Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, and let's get the "F" out of "H.

" No, no, no.

Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey.

I need you to distract the camp.

"Distract"? They eat each other.

What What do you want me to do to get their attention, put on a puppet show? Right idea, wrong genre, Morty.

The equivalent here would be Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, or do you just put it up for decoration? Uh, you mean the Blood Dome? Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.

B.

White.

Ohh, burn! The important question is, who wants to take a poke at my man Spine Eater here? I guess I'll see your asses in that dome! Rick, what the hell, man? Wh-What are you, out of your mind? Morty, relax.

You're gonna be a ringer.

Come here.

This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory.

I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat one limb at a time.

- Ow! I'm working with a mixed bag here, so you may not have perfect coordination, Morty Ugh! Hey! - I-I didn't do that! Okay, this is exciting.

We're making some discoveries about muscle memory.

Ooh! Help! Help! Oh, sweet, man! And so it begins, my pretties! Oh, God! Stop! Stop! This is horrible! Just stick and move, Morty! Wear him out! How come you guys dress like you're in a theme-park stunt show, but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys? After the boom-boom, some adapted to the new truth, and some chose to huddle near the boomy holes, clinging to the lie of the before-fore times.

The raidy-rays rotted them away, leaving only their love for the vert-vert-isements on billyboards.

Jesus Christ.

Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? I think I was a child before the boom-booms.

I think I looked like this.

Want to piss on him? Get out of my head.

Eli: Ha ha! Whoo! Unbelievable! A new champ! Okay, no more! And he wants more! No, I don't! Someone, make this stop! Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die! I have nothing to do with this! Morty.