Alan was.
If you lay those deaths
at my doorstep one more time
Do not threaten her.
Congrats, you did it.
What the hell
is "Israel"?
It-It's just something
Rick starts talking about
when he's blackout drunk.
W-What?
In w In w-w-what?
Like,
w-w-what's my point?
In a way
that has no point,
you just babble about defense
budgets and the United Nations
and then you pass out.
So, to be clear,
I sometimes reference
the geopolitical complexities
of the topic
Which is not the same as going
to an anti-Semitic place.
I have not stake
in this
I don't either, I'm
I'm just saying, if anything,
the drunk version of me is
probably so supportive of Israel
he wants what's best for it
and
Hey, man, I'm not touching this.
You do you.
Aloha means hello
and goodbye in Hawaii.
But, uh, aloha means
Has nothing to do
with this room.
I'm so drunk.
Ugh, okay.
Here's the deal.
I-I want to rest my eyes
for a little bit,
I'm
I'm not going to sleep,
I just just need
to rest my eyes,
so let's make this one
simple
Just try to hit
some three pointers.
Let's say you have to
hit five three pointers
in five minutes or
I don't know,
the whole place the
whole planet will get blown up
with a n-neutrino bomb.
And try to make it a-a lesson
about yourselves,
like like
how selfish you are
Are or something.
And also Hawaii.
You guys hit the baskets,
I'll disarm the
drunkenly-improvised neutrino bomb.
There's a 40 percent chance
it's a dud,
but y-you should still
stay back.
Morty, how many of these
Too many, Rick! Too many!
Man, I am really getting
high-roaded today.
That's a three pointer.
Nice shot.
Thank you.
You two
make quite a team.
We all do.
Yeah, I guess
That's a three pointer.
But you guys have always had
a an unspoken bond.
I mean, really unspoken.
Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband
unspoken.
We aren't married anymore,
Alan.
Sure, but were we married
when you two were "stranded"
on Delphi Six for three days?
Because I sensed something
was weird when you came back
But what do I know
about sensitivity?
I'm just
a phantom train conductor.
You're the pile of ordinary bugs
that my wife!
That's a three pointer.
Where the
is the lead wire?
You always put it
in the weirdest place.
Um, uh,
over here maybe?
Jesus Christ,
what a shitty neutrino bomb.
It's a miracle I ever
actually destroy anything.
Oh, I don't know,
you managed to destroy
just about everything today.
The villains, the heroes,
the lines between them,
my childhood
I appreciate it, Morty,
I know you were sucking
the Kool-Aid
out of
the Vindicators'
So the fact that I was right
about them
must be pretty hard
to admit.
Yeah, it is.
You know why, Rick?
Because
when you're an asshole,
it doesn't matter
how right you are,
nobody wants to give you
the satisfaction.
I know.
Everyone wants people
they like to be right.
That's why popular people
are dumb.
And why your pretentious,
poorly-written,
high-budget friends
back there
can eat a double-decker
shit sandwich.
Disarmed.
Holy shit.
You're jealous.
Yes! Is that
what you want to hear?!
Did it feel good?
Did you like his six million
wriggling legs
more than
my tragedy-stricken,
half-ghost, half-tumescent penis?!
Guys, stop!
You're just proving
my asshole grandpa right!
You wish this was about sex!
We loved each other!
We had a child together!
What?!
I conceived a child with Million
Ants and it died inside me
because it was half a million
ants and half collapsing star!
And yes.
He was better than you.
Yeah?
One million
times better.
All aboard, mother
Stop!
Oof!
Didn't see that coming.
Is that sarcasm?
I don't want you slipping away
when this is over.
All of these deaths
are on your hands.
Okay, come on,
maybe a couple of them,
but definitely
not the Train Guy.
Oof! All of them.
Oookay.
Congrats.
You did it.
All right, by now,
I've been pretty clear
that I think the Vindicators
are full of shit.
But you do have one thing
that I'll never have.
And that thing is the only part
of the Vindicators
with any value to me.
If you know what it is,
place it on the platform.
Guess wrong
and pla-planet will explode.
And probably the solar system,
'cause I kind of
eyeballed the neutrino bombs
on this one.
So what's the trick? Morty,
you're the Drunk Rick expert.
I think no matter
what we put on there, we die.
He said it's the part
of the Vindicators he values.
That means nothing.
He wants
our last moment alive
to be spent knowing
how few he gave.
Jesus! Okay,
open to second opinions.
It could
It could be Morty.
What?
Hey, I don't know.
I mean, look,
when I get drunk,
I get stupid and emotional
and there's no logic to it.
It's, like,
it's possible I got so drunk
I felt like I was losing Morty
to the Vindicators,
and maybe this is
my way of saying, "Okay",
you can have him but only if
you know how important he is,
"otherwise I'll kill you.
"
That is a
really specific guess.
Look, I-I there's
nothing in the room but us.
I'm just using logic
to connect some dots,
it's the best guess
I've got.
But you're betting our lives
on it.
I'll cover that bet.
I get it.
Well, Morty, I think
you're doing that smirky face
because you're misinterpreting
the moment.
I am not being coy
about some hidden love for you.
I want to be really clear that
if anyone has a better guess,
like, if I gave you
an amulet last night, or
Phew.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
I'm not good
at goodbyes,
and I'm drunk,
so, you know, I just
It looks like I'm never
going to see you again.
I can't really roll
with the hero types.
And I don't they
They don't want me around.
But I want you to know, even if
I didn't show it at the time,
I really appreciated
you sticking by me.
God damn it, why am I crying?
It makes no sense.
Ugh, you're
You're probably confused
because we barely
knew each other,
but you really
stuck your neck out
when you gave me props
for my awesome jokes
in the briefing room.
Everybody else had their head
so far up their ass.
Even my own grandson is like,
"Oh, the Vindicators,
they're so cool.
"
I mean, he's a moron,
that's their demographic.
But you're different,
Noob Noob.
Mother
You're cool.
And you're smart.
And I bet
we coulda hung out and shit.
And I hope you get to be
a full-fledged Vindicator
and and do
Do me a favor,
don't don't let them know
I-I got emotional.
But you can tell them
one thing.
Tell them I said
Oh Okay.
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所属电视剧:Rick and Morty (2013)
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