That's the job I want
Part time, full time,
I want to be good at it,
bad at it,
I want to get promoted, fired,
corner office, hostile takeover,
workplace accident
I'm on my knees, Stacy
Praying, worshipping, begging,
whatever you want.
What do you think about that?
Okay.
[Bleep] it.
Tink.
Mm!
Let's ask my grandpa.
He's a scientist.
Hey, Rick, are you familiar
with "benoi" technology?
Morty, great news.
I went back to the spa
and they let me purchase
the containment unit
from their detoxifier.
Why? Because we're
coming home, bitch!
What is this? This is the parts of
your pussy grandpa that keep it real.
Oh oh, and I think you
dropped something, too!
I don't want to be
on camera.
I'm ugly and gross,
please.
Should I go? You're
your own person, Stacy.
Then I'd like to stay.
Rick, please tell me
you're not trying to put
that stuff back inside of us.
Morty, I'm sorry.
That stuff
is alive and it belongs with us.
We yanked them from their homes
and locked them in a can.
Mother[bleep]!
See?
They're living in pain.
That's what they do, Rick,
they live in pain.
They are pain, you know?
They they're all the bad
parts of us, which, by the way,
includes our dishonesty,
so how do you know this isn't
all some sort of crazy trick?
Oh, so now because I'm made
entirely of toxins I'm also a liar?
[Bleep] you,
you little sociopath.
You hear this, Morty? Oh,
everybody hates me.
I can tell.
Y-You all hate me All
right, shut up, Morty.
Healthy Rick,
are we doing this or what?
Yep.
Sorry, Morty.
I need you
to step into the booth.
Don't negotiate
with that little turd, dummy.
You're the Rick.
You need to show dominance.
Morty, booth, now.
Booth!
Come on, Morty.
Don't touch me!
Morty, do the healthy thing and
voluntarily retoxify yourself.
Nooooo!
Is it wrong if I think
this is kind of hot?
Let me out of here!
Stacy, help! Open the door!
I need to hear our safe word,
Morty.
Sea Cucumber!
Sea Cucumber!
What are you doing? I'll do
anything for you, Morty.
No!
It worked! Yes!
That idiot believed every word.
Now let's see how he enjoys
living in that shit tank.
He's right behind me,
isn't he?
He's in front of you.
Oh.
My
eyes are still adjusting.
Uh, is this like
a sex dungeon?
I guess I should've been
paying attention.
After 70 years
of being bottled up
inside a
sentimental jackass,
I finally get to live
my own life.
You said we were merging.
I lied,
dumbass! I lie about everything!
Why would I ever re-merge
with a pussy like you?
So you were just gonna trap us
in that tank?
T-That was your plan? Not was,
mother[bleep] still is.
Kill him, Rick!
I don't like this!
This is scary!
All right,
you asked for it.
Did I ask for this?
Did I ask for this?
Huh? Did I?
Assessing threat to groin.
Groin System 6000.
Kill him!
That is my groin's user.
Believe me, I got a lot more use
out of that thing
than he ever did.
You know what?
Not my table.
You do know me.
What the hell,
Grandpa Rick?
[Bleep] you, Summer!
Sorry, Summer!
Okay, okay, take it easy.
Don't do it.
I love you.
Good boy.
Daddy's little boy.
Summer,
get out of here! Go!
Oh, who's that?
Who's
that over there?
Oh, no.
You see the bad man
in front of you?
You're a good little boy,
you're gonna get him.
You're gonna get him.
Ahh!
Son of a
Ahh!
Nice try, asshole.
We can resolve
our issues.
We don't need to resort
to over-the-top
Aah!
I-I did it, Rick.
I got the tank!
I-I'm a piece of [bleep],
but I got the tank!
You're going in that tank,
mother[bleep].
You're gonna live in
that toxic [bleep] wasteland
like I had to do!
Ahh!
Ow!
That's right, mother
You're going in that [bleep]
Dads?
Okay, just
Just leave her out of it.
What's going on?
All right, [bleep] this.
Time for plan B
If I can't trap you
in a toxic world,
I'll just make the whole world
toxic.
It's okay, girls.
I-I'm so sorry I put us in
danger with some of my behavior.
I-If you'd like I can go out
in the g-garden,
pick some fresh basil,
and make us a nice Scallopini.
What did the booger version
of you mean
when he said he was going
to make the whole world toxic?
Believe me, sweetie, that man's
motivations are a mystery.
Screw that, Rick.
We got to stop him.
What's the last thing you'd think
about doing with that tank thing?
Morty, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
but it's not our place,
you know,
to pick and choose which world
gets saved from what apocalypse.
Our our toxins have as much
a right to their worldview as
Morty, how is it healthy
to slap me?
Obviously my
version of health
is a hell of a lot different
from yours,
you useless old turd.
Wait.
That's it.
How could that detox machine
know the difference
between healthy and sick for
everything that goes through it?
It can't.
It must be by the individual's
own definition of toxicity.
That means
Dad! What the
What the hell, Rick?
I'll explain on the way.
This "Moon Tower," Morty,
is the perfect height
and metallic composition
for the amplification
and beaming of toxic energies.
What do you think about that,
Morty?
Are you excited about that,
Morty?
Oh, man.
I'm just freaked out.
I-It's too high up here.
Once I flip this switch,
the entire world is gonna
be just as toxic as us, baby.
As we praise
our loving Father
God is a lie!
We made him up for money!
Santa Claus isn't real.
You were all mistakes!
We [bleep] did it, Morty.
Put your [bleep] hands
in the air.
Yeah, you little piece
of [bleep].
Remember me?
Didn't you learn last time
that you can't beat me?
Yeah, I did.
And then I learned
something else.
- This.
- Ahh!!
That bullet is laced with an
encrypted nanobotic virus
that will disintegrate your
Morty in about, ah, 20 minutes.
You think I give a [bleep]?
I know you give a [bleep],
dummy.
Because I know I don't.
Here's another thing
I know
The decryption key
that neutralizes the virus.
You want it?
Come and get it.
Merge with me and you'll know
how to save him.
Pfft.
Come on, man.
I've been trapped
in your pussy brain
for 70 years of delusions,
but this is the all-time weakest
bluff that I've ever
Ow-Ohh!! Jesus Christ!
What are you doing?!
He's cutting your time in half.
10 minutes.
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所属电视剧:Rick and Morty (2013)
6. Rest and Ricklaxation 全部台词 (一共 4 页)
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