My progeny has joined the ranks of the graduated.
You applied to all those schools for me? A few fallbacks, too, just in case.
You're not my mother, you're not in charge of who I talk to, and you're sure as shit not in charge of if I go to college! We've been banging like bunnies, and I can't get pregnant.
What'll you do? Are you out of your fucking mind? Kev is just gonna lie down with you for procreation, not sex.
Wham, bam, thank you, mom.
What are you doing wearing my top? Pheromones, I'm borrowing them.
It's the thing boys like about you.
You mean tits? I think you might be a year or two off.
Are you gonna marry someone who screws guys for a living? Who gives a shit? It's a fucking piece of paper.
You love me.
Just this once, fucking admit it.
I want to enlist.
When's the next bus to basic combat training? - Tomorrow morning.
- Philip.
It's Lip.
It's just Gallagher now.
Get on.
I was wondering if you'd seen Jimmy lately.
Any sign of conflict, things not going his way, and he just disappears.
- It's what he does.
- Be a man.
Get onto the boat.
Can I just make one phone call to Fiona, please? Last message, I promise.
Wherever you are, bye.
You the temp? Yes.
Fiona Gallagher.
Mr.
Pratt is asking for a word with you.
- Let me guess, he's the boss.
- Not the big boss, - but he is a supervisor, yes.
- We sort of ditched the party.
Well, then you better behave yourself, because I am way too drunk not to invite you back to my tent right now.
They said if you don't stop drinking, you're gonna die.
So I'm just supposed to stop drinking so that you don't feel guilty? You're supposed to stop drinking because you have children at home who love you.
What if I don't want to change? Then I would know what I've always feared is true, that you don't give a shit about any of us.
Hey, Carl.
Carl, hey.
You got any Bears stuff I can wear to the game today, like a hat or a Jersey or something? I got a "Fuck Jay Cutler" T-shirt.
It might have blood on it, though.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Morning, sunshine.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Don't get too comfortable up there.
Ian's gonna want his old bed back when he comes home.
Where are you going? - Out.
- On a Sunday morning? Are those my boots? - Occupied! - I got to take a piss! - Go away! - Use the downstairs bathroom.
It's downstairs.
You're young.
You'll live.
No, absolutely not.
No more peeing off the balcony.
What the fuck? Carl! Morning, Mrs.
Babiak.
There's a toilet right there.
Mrs.
Babiak doesn't need an anatomy lesson.
Please, Mrs.
Babiak's got my 18th birthday circled on her calendar.
- Use the toilet like a human.
- Can I have Lip's old room? - No.
- He's at college.
Seriously, cut the shit with the nature whizzing, or you won't live here anymore.
That pierogi-eating prune will call the cops.
And no, you can't have Lip's old room.
He's gonna be home in the summer and for holidays.
Oh, you going clubbing? Hanging out with Holly.
Are you two gonna work the corner? Shut up, zit head.
At least I got zits, no-pubes girl.
Okay, enough, both of you.
Cereal, brother.
You think you might be a little overdressed for Sunday morning at Holly's? It's not like we're going to church.
You're watching Liam today, remember? I haven't abused marijuana like the rest of you, - so yes, I remember.
- I have the Mike thing.
I said my memory's intact.
Big, yellow icy spot on the sidewalk.
I almost dropped the dip.
Spike must've chewed through his fence again.
My world famous artichoke-jalapeño dip.
Eddie loved it.
He used to spread it on his waffles.
Thanks, Sheila.
It smells great.
Why is she here again? I don't care.
Our laundry's clean.
- Any new texts from Ian? - Uh, no.
You check your phone this morning? - Yes.
- It's been almost a week.
He'll be back when he's back.
We should file a missing persons report.
We are not going to the police, okay? He's 17.
We don't have to be happy about it, but I trust him.
No surprise he ran away from this gulag.
It's not like anyone gives a damn if any of us live or die! Liam? I heard you the first 300 billion times.
- $270? - Prenatal visits aren't cheap, and Dr.
Susie is cash up front.
What's wrong with the free clinic? You want your baby mama waiting hours next to crab-infested hookers and toothless crackheads? What happened to the 200 that I gave you last week? Uh, ultrasounds, prenatal vitamins, and then I found this cute, little, black maternity number at nordstroms, too.
See what I'm saying? Hey, Kev, you got a Bears Jersey I can borrow? Mike's taking me to the game today.
Borrow as in I get it right back, or borrow as in you plan to keep it forever and forget it isn't yours? Get it right back, promise.
You still staying away from hot dogs and unpasteurized cheese? And no sprouts.
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