- This is what you missed last week on Shameless - Come on, Lip, I'm going home.
You let some dude finger you last night on the El? You make it sound so filthy.
And he's not just any dude.
No, he's your boyfriend's brother! Yo, Robbie, it's me.
To Kevin Ball, I leave my beloved - "Alibi Room.
" - What? Why don't you send me $500 a month - for two years.
- Okay.
No one's getting laid till they get paid.
Look, I got the labor force already.
All I need is the clientele and a location.
- You've got both.
- I want to enlist.
- Phillip.
- It's Lip.
It's just Gallagher now.
Get on.
I want you to break my leg.
I need the insurance money.
It's the only way I'll be able to pay for the transplant.
Aah! My own daughter isn't even a match! - Daughter? - Oh, fuck it.
Get out! You know, I'm getting pretty damn tired of everybody telling me where I should be and what I should be doing.
Well, then, stop making them have to! Grow the fuck up! I need a-a beer for my daughter here.
think of all the luck you got know that it's not for naught you were beaming once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? round up the friends you got know that they're not for naught you were willing once before but it's not like that anymore what is this downside that you speak of? what is this feeling you're so sure of? You're wondering why I picked this corner? - I'm really not.
- Well, it's 'cause-- You call me when I'm with Mike.
Text me when I'm with Mike.
How about we just cut out the middleman, which is me, and you can fuck your brother? I'm bringing you there.
No.
You're going on with your life, I'm-- Oh, this motel? It's classy.
Rooms by the hour.
That's why it's fun.
You know how last time when I told you to stop texting me and it turned into sex? This isn't that.
I don't know why it took me this long to start hating myself, but I got there.
It's a shitty feeling.
I'm not punishing you or blaming you.
I just really need this to end.
_ _ Phillip Gallagher? Yeah, who's asking? Fort Dearborn Military Police.
Can you step out of the stall please? You know, I'm gonna be busy for a while, but you can join me if you want to wipe my ass.
Wait, what the fuck, man? - Hey, hey! - Sergeant, wait! You're Phillip Gallagher? Jesus, what the hell's going on? Or do you get off on watching guys taking a dump? Is that your social security number? Blow me.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
Do you know this man? No, I've never seen him before in my life.
Any idea how he got a hold of your name and social security number? No, but it's pretty scary, you know? I'm feeling pretty fucking violated over here.
What's he, uh, what's he wanted for? For impersonating you, apparently.
Also for attempted theft of government property and being away without leave.
Wow, no shit.
What did he try and steal? Helicopter.
Surface-to-air missile.
- Army issue boxer bris.
- Sergeant! Mr.
Gallagher, we may need you to testify.
We'll be in touch.
Well, at ease, gentlemen.
I've always wanted to say that.
So this is it.
This is where my dad lives.
In all its grandeur.
No one's home? Thought I might meet my brothers and sisters.
Yeah, well, they're pretty busy.
Anyway, we should hit the road.
Time to find out what this foot is worth to the damn insurance company.
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here.
- For your toes! - Ah.
Come on, sit down.
Hopefully, they won't break our hearts again this season.
So, um, there's something I have to say.
You and me, we have a connection.
I mean, last week I was trying to get you into the sack.
It's understandable under the circumstances.
I thought, "The sex is gonna be amazing," and then I found out you were my dad, so that was, like an adjustment.
Sure.
My whole life, I've been looking for a daddy.
The old men who'd get lucky with me at last call, the bass player who got herpes in Manila, and now, at last, I have you.
Only-- What? You didn't come find me because you need another daughter.
You just need a liver, right? And I'm gonna help you find one, but if that's all this is - No, no.
- Then I-- No.
I mean, yes, initially I sort of looked at you as an organ farm, but when you figured out we were family, you didn't treat me like the rest of my kids-- rats leaving a sinking ship.
And, hell, I wouldn't have blamed you.
But you stuck around.
You gave me hope.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I hate to cry.
Oh.
I'd be crying too if I wasn't so high.
Come on, daddy.
Let's go get you some money, huh? Mm.
_ _ Hey, you wanna guess.
Guess what? What we're doing for your birthday.
Hmm.
Going dancing? - Mm-mm.
- I mean, skydiving? - Mm.
- Sex club? I knew it.
Sex club.
- I'll wear my crotchless teddy.
- Uh, cocktail attire.
Wear something warm in case we want to hang outside.
Ah, I've never been to an outdoor sex club.
Oh, yeah, you know what? Speaking of romantic, intimate getaways-- my mom.
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