1
No, absolutely not.
We're not gonna be showing
you a recap of last week
because you were too busy.
Get the hell out of here.
All right, all right, stop your whining.
Fine, here you go.
If you have a vagina, you're safe.
- Vagina Safe Zone.
- [VERONICA] But
There's no way we are still
on that rapiest bar list.
Who the hell starts a new school
with three weeks left
in the school year?
Fucking Satchel Boy.
All right, well, you guys just relax.
Just die naturally.
I know of no finer
candidate for West Point
than Carl Gallagher.
Damn right, you don't.
- Oh!
- Bitch, I'm not asking.
[CARL] So you're a lesbian?
Yeah, I am.
- I can't do this again.
- Do what?
Falling in love with a straight girl.
It's too painful.
Just go.
What is this?
Kids are working up a few ideas
for if you do wind up in prison.
Gay Jesus kids don't
want me to cop a plea.
Want me to take it to trial,
get as much publicity
for the cause as I can.
Yeah, and what's your lawyer say?
Could be looking at 10 to
15 if I don't take a deal.
Holy shit, Mo.
- You won.
- [CROWD CHANTING] Mo White
You're a congressman again.
[BOTH LAUGH]
My sister says you have my kid.
Xan.
I want her back.
Do you want to stay with me here?
Yeah, that'd be good.
Mom?
I knew you'd come back for me!
[Rock music]
[rock music]
Think of all the luck you got
Know that it's not for naught
You were beaming once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
Round up the friends you got
Know that they're not for naught
You were willing once before
But it's not like that anymore
What is this downside
That you speak of?
What is this feeling
You're so sure of?
[INDIE MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
[FIONA] How do you listen to this crap?
This is indie folk country.
It's like if a bad hipster band
smacked into a truck of cows.
Well, switch it if you want.
I'll never part
Whoa, oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh
[FIONA] Isn't your code your birthday?
Put it in the American
way or the right way?
- There.
Irish, even.
- It's not a place
Little on the nose.
What, like your accent?
To me a sound
You know, U2 is the band
most made love to in all of Ireland.
Oh, well,
you're in America now, bitch.
Need a lift to Patsy's?
No, driving myself.
I gotta take Ian to a
meeting with his lawyer.
His plea hearing is tomorrow.
[FORD] He can't make his own way?
[SIGHS] To his lawyer or in life?
Both.
No.
Grab you from Patsy's at 2:45, then.
[FIONA] For what?
The Hadid exhibition.
- The Ha-what?
- [FORD] Zaha Hadid.
First female architect
to win the Pritzker Prize.
Blueprints haven't
been public until now?
Oh, shit, is that today?
You fucking with me?
You've been talking about
it nonstop for six months.
Yeah, I'm fucking with
you.
I'll meet you there.
Tickets are for 3:30.
If you're late, they won't let us in.
And where is it?
Came here looking
The Art Institute.
That's in Canada, right?
See you at 4:30.
3:30.
Fucking with you.
American soul
What are you doing, Debs?
Sanding a circle around my dip canister
so I don't look like a poser.
You are a poser.
[LIP] Jesus, how many more
dogs are down there, Carl?
[CARL] Just Rocco and Bernice,
and she'll be dead by
the end of the week.
Does anyone know what
cocktail attire is?
It's a little early for cocktails,
- even for a Gallagher.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
It's a West Point mixer this afternoon.
Says I need cocktail attire.
Says it's a suit.
Who goes to drink in a suit?
Ah, fuck, Fiona's almost here.
What now?
She wants to take me to my meeting.
- [LIP AND DEBBIE] Don't do it!
- [LIAM] Bad idea.
She thinks I should
take an insanity plea.
Insanity?
Yeah, bipolar.
Off my meds.
How long would you get for that?
Lawyer thinks two years, plus probation.
What are your other options?
Well, I could plead guilty,
get a reduced sentence,
five to ten years,
or I could plead innocent
Well, what about that video
of you blowing up the van?
and they'll find me
guilty, so I get 10 to 20.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[FIONA] Hi.
Hey.
Oh, what smells like dead dog?
It's dead dog.
I'm taking care of it.
You ready?
I told you, I don't need a ride.
Oh, I'm taking Liam to
school, so it's on my way.
- Anybody else?
- [LIP] I'm good.
I'm headed to Patsy's,
trying to make things work with Alex.
[FIONA] Who's Alex?
My girlfriend.
Your girlfriend?
You gay now?
- Yes.
- No.
[FIONA] Okay.
You two, let's go.
Someone should wash
a dish around here once in a while.
[LIP] Hey, buddy, have a good day.
All right, well, ease up,
you drunks.
Ladies first.
[KERMIT] Can I have a beer, V?
Can I take off my coat first?
[VERONICA] Hands off, Tommy!
Frank?
Hey!
Did you sleep here again?
I-I drank a bit too.
Two bucks?
You drank two bucks' worth of booze?
No, that's all that's left
from the Mo White campaign fund.
[WOMAN] You Kevin Ball?
You a health inspector?
Uh, no.
[SCOFFS]
Jehovah's Witness?
- No.
- IRS?
No.
Then yes, I'm Kevin Ball.
Uh, Alison de Marco,
from the Women's Equality
and Empowerment March.
We're very impressed with what
you've been doing with Vagina Safe.
We're looking to add a few men
to our list of march speakers,
and as head of the
Vagina Safe initiative,
you're at the top of our list.
[CHUCKLES]
That dentist who bought your bike
Check didn't bounce, did it?
No.
Why?
He totaled it already.
Had to strip it for parts.
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