1. An Aborted Dinner Date (第1季)【完整台词】

Look at you, Mrs.

Bush, you look like a hooker! - I do? - I mean, a high-class hooker.

Thanks, Maggie.

Good morning! There she is! How's my beautiful girl? - That's my baby - George! Hi, Laura.

Where'd you come from? Tell me you didn't vote for him.

George.

D'ya notice anything different about me? Well? - D'ya gain some weight? - George! Come on.

Don't you know the scariest thing a man can hear is: "Notice anything different about me?" I did my nails, my eyebrows, I took an eighth of an inch off my hair.

I wanted to look extra-pretty for our dinner tonight.

What dinner? The dinner I know about! That dinner.

Our dinner.

The one I pretended to forget about just now! Gotcha! I know you're busy being President, but it's important to me that we finally have some intimate time alone.

It's important to me too.

We're gonna have the best night since we came to D.

C.

! Thanks, you're the best.

Even if you are a clueless bastard sometimes.

One of these days, I'm gonna punch you in the face! He's the President in residence He's kind of in charge He's got the whole country saying: That's my Bush! Life is hard, that's the price of fame When you're President, everyone knows your name Hey, what's that thing? It's my Bush! I can't believe he's actually in the White House That's our man! That's my Bush! My fellow Americans.

This week, I plan to unite our country and bring both sides of the abortion issue together, in a historic summit.

Abortion is very serious.

Very personal issue.

And let me assure all of you that tonight you promised to have dinner with Laura! I mean, let me assure you that I'll do my best.

Good night.

Laura, stop putting reminder messages to me in the teleprompter! I don't want you to forget our dinner, and you don't have time to talk to me.

- I'm talking to you now.

- All right, fine.

- I was thinking - Mr.

President! I was reviewing your schedule in my Palm Pilot, and you only have ten minutes to save the Earth from the Zinthians.

That's not a Palm Pilot, Princess, that's a Game Boy.

Wait, then what's this? That's a cheeseburger.

Come on, let's have another review session.

Maggie.

You've worked in the White House for how many years? Since the Secret Service wore bell bottoms.

George is so busy being President, I feel like nobody pays attention to me! Pretty soon you'll start to feel like nobody pays attention to you.

Wha? I'm worried about my marriage.

You're having First-Lady Syndrome.

- Sure, they all go through it.

- What did other first ladies do? Easy.

When your husband is President, you can consider your marriage over.

Find a pet cause.

Hide your broken heart behind an agenda like "Say No To Drugs.

" "Helping burn victims or the homeless.

" I believe in my marriage! I'm gonna resist the urge to help the homeless burn victims and make my marriage work! Good for you! Look at that, Karl! An abortion cake, a fondue set.

This summit's gonna kick butt! What do you think? Honestly, I think the whole abortion dinner party idea is a little gay.

The heads of Pro Life and Pro Choice are both very strong personalities.

In a room together, it could be volatile.

That's what you said about the NFL and the XFL.

I united them! And what about the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser? Didn't you see how they finally found a way to get along? Yes, Mr.

President, I viewed the briefing tape you gave me.

Just imagine it.

Big, glossy color photo on the cover of every magazine.

Leader of Pro Life, Leader of Pro Choice.

They're shaking hands and I'm in the middle! The little fondue set off on the side.

We're Republicans, we don't like the Pro Choice people, remember? But I'm a uniter! Tomorrow night, I'm gonna make uniter history.

Tomorrow night? You had us schedule the summit for tonight.

I asked for tomorrow night! You said yesterday you wanted to schedule it for the day after tomorrow.

- That's right.

- But it's today now! - So it should be tomorrow! - Tomorrow keeps tricking me! I can't make the summit tonight.

I have a dinner with Laura.

Too late! The head of Pro Life, Felix Harris, is on his way, and from what understand, he's a freak! What kind of freak? Apparently, he was aborted 30 years ago, he managed to survive.

Now he is bitter, he is angry, and he hates to be canceled on.

Oh, boy.

Laura's gonna be mad.

I know.

Maybe I can trick her into moving the date.

I can trick her! Laura, honey.

You don't really wanna have dinner this evening, do you? Yes, George, I really really do.

Damn.

That didn't work.

He's trying to cancel your dinner.

Maggie, you stay out of this! Something political has come up.

Told you he'd say that, didn't I? It's just that being President is harder than you can possibly imagine.

I have to put the country ahead of our interests.

Will you stop that? Don't you have some laundry to do? You're right.

I've got to do like your father did and separate the whites from the coloreds.

At least he believed in something! You've canceled on me seventeen times.

Can't you cancel this one thing for me? It isn't that simple! You have no idea what is going on! This is the main room of the White House.

Here you can see the President and the First Lady having an argument about his commitment to their marriage.

Hi, kids.

Can we not do this right now? Let's move on to the next room.

Mr.

President doesn't like spending time with school children.

You said that even if you became President, your family would still come first.

All right, I'll keep my dinner date with you.

You will? Thank you.

It means a lot to me.

I am such a pussy! That's my Bush! We're gonna have to move the summit.

We can't.

The head of Pro Life is already here.

I'll have to tell him that we have to reschedule.

Hold on! Remember when I said he was aborted 30 years ago and he was a freak? I should have wiggled my fingers, trilled my r's and said "freak"! He never really developed.

He survived eating ants, mice, and - Oh, boy! - What do you mean? He's kind of like a midget? - Worse than a midget.

- Worse than a midget? All righty everyone, meet Mr.

Bush, the President.

Mr.

President, meet Mr.

Harris.

Mr.

President, it's a pleasure to meet you.

- I didn't quite catch that.