- The President welcomes you.
Fantastic, then.
Mr.
President? Where is he?
He's right in front of you,
Mr.
Harris.
I'm honored to attend your summit
on behalf of those
who have survived abortion.
How many of you are there?
Just two.
Me and Cher.
We're very happy to have you here.
I wonder if I could ask
one favor about the dinner?
Name it!
Can we push the dinner
to tomorrow night?
What? I crawled all the way over here
and now you want to cancel?
This dinner,
it's supposed to be formal.
- So, if you could just see
- No! I'm sorry, I can't see.
Because my eyes weren't developed
and so they're sealed shut!
Maybe we could get him
a little suit at the teddy-bear store.
Laura, I need
to talk to you right now!
Not if it's about
canceling our dinner!
It wasn't about canceling
our dinner, so there!
OK, I'm sorry.
What do you wanna talk about?
I want to talk to you about
that show, the A-Team, they should
never have taken it off the air!
- That's interesting.
- And that's final!
- I'm glad we had this talk.
- See you at dinner.
Hey, George,
it's your favorite neighbor.
Say, George,
there's some snew on your lawn.
- What's snew, Larry?
- Nothing.
What's snew with you?
I don't have time
to talk to you right now.
Jeez.
What's up your ass?
I don't know.
I have an abortion dinner and
a dinner with Laura at the same time,
and I can't push either one.
- Why don't you do both?
- What you talking about, Larry?
This place is huge! Just set up
a dinner for Laura in one room,
and have the abortion dinner
in the dining room.
She'll never know!
- That's a great idea!
- No, didn't work for Nixon.
All I gotta do is
get a picture of me with these leaders
shaking hands.
How hard can that be?
It's beautiful! But why
aren't we eating in the dining room?
It's so big and formal,
this will be more intimate.
It means a lot to me
that you canceled your other
plans tonight to spend it with me.
Tonight I pulled out all the stops.
I even got someone to play our song.
Oh, boys!
It's the theme to Sanford and Son!
Dinner will be right up.
Tonight I am your servant.
I guess I have to be
your servant later on!
- In bed.
- Oh, yes!
I gotta change
for this state dinner.
- Mrs.
Bush is gonna find out.
- She is not!
I have a jazz band in there
drowning out any noise she might hear!
And if she does come out,
you're gonna warn me.
You're gonna make a loud crow call!
I'll make up the sofa
for you to sleep on tonight.
Don't you worry! Just remember,
if Laura comes out, crow call!
Hello, everybody.
How are we all doing?
Fine.
With this new suit they gave me
I look like Cary Grant.
Mr.
President, this is Joyce Mathers
from Pro Choice people.
Nice to meet you, Joyce.
Can I call you Joyce?
- You already did.
- That's great.
Come on in.
- Mr.
Bush, let me be frank.
- That makes more sense than Joyce.
We're not happy to be here
defending a woman's right to choose
to some male-chauvinist
Pro-Life leader!
Well! Meet the Pro-Life leader now!
- Felix Harris.
- Hello!
Mr.
Harris, shake hands
with the nice Pro-Choice leader.
Where is she?
I can't see because I was aborted.
But, if she's the leader
of Pro-Choice, let me guess.
She's got a butch haircut, a bunch
of feminist beads, and a gigantic ass.
- I never!
- Sure you have, then you aborted it.
I know! Why don't we take a photo,
to show the world
how great this summit's going?
A woman has a right to do
what she wants with her body!
Right? What kind
of rights do I have?
I'm 30 years old
and I have to shop at Baby Gap!
I think we're off to a great start!
Excuse me for a second.
Where are you going?
- I'll be right back.
- Jesus Christ, you can't leave now!
- Did Laura come out?
- No!
I thought I heard a crow call.
That wasn't a crow call,
that was a raven call.
The cook asked me to make that
when the food got here.
Why the hell would you?
Never mind!
Finally!
I'm sorry.
This took me longer
to carve up than I thought.
- My goodness, what did you make?
- What did I make?
It's a
steak.
- What was that?
- What was what?
I know.
Why don't you tell me about
how you plan on redecorating
the Lincoln bedroom?
- Really?
- Yeah, just close your eyes.
Tell me exactly how you envision it.
And don't leave out any details.
Well, I'm thinking about changing
the wall colors from yellow
to deep salmon.
Perhaps a goldenrod trimmer
around the first layer of wainscot
You just keep your laws off our bodies!
Respect a woman's choice!
Women choose when they open
their meat curtains and take a bow!
- How are we all doing?
- Mr.
President,
I will not sit here and be insulted
while eating shrimp!
You don't have to eat shrimp.
Why don't we take a nice picture
of us all shaking hands?
I won't shake hands
with someone who's pro-abortion!
I'm not pro-abortion,
I'm pro-choice!
Are you against abortion?
Then you're pro-abortion!
Take a logic class, you stupid hooker!
- Stop calling me a hooker!
- Just take a picture real quick.
Do you want women
dying in back alleys?
- Take the picture!
- It won't go!
Turn on the flash!
- Hooker!
- You son of a bitch!
All right! Now that's enough!
I'm the President
of the United States!
Forgive me if I demand some decency!
Now
If we don't start showing each other
a little bit of respect, and dignity,
we're never gonna get anywhere!
Now, Felix.
Joyce stands up for what she believes
in because she thinks it's right.
And Joyce.
You need to remember
Felix is against abortion
because of strong,
moral convictions.
Now
We're all gonna sit
and talk, like adults.
- I'll be right back!
- For Christ's sake!
- Entertain the guests!
- How?
I don't care, just do it!
Just came in here
and started squawking.
Weird, huh?
Laura's gonna be furious at me!
and a large throw rug
with matching patterns of yellow
and white on the credenza.
- What do you think?
- Sounds impeccable.
You're sweating.
You know how I get when
you start talking about redecorating.
Isn't it nice we're talking?
How's work going?
Right now I'm working on uniting
two sides of a very partisan issue.
That sounds great.
- Better check on our desserts.
- Forget dessert!
It's you that I want.
- Let's make love.
- Right now?
Now.
Why don't you go upstairs,
I'll meet you in ten minutes?
Come on! We're in the White House!
We should do it in every room here.
- What room do you wanna do it in?
- The dining room.
I want you to spread me out
on that massive table,
right under that big picture
of Mr.
Lincoln
and pound me like a one hole!
- Oh, God! Are you sure?
- Let's go!
Wait!
Laura, hold on!
Maggie
Let's go!
- Not the dining room!
- Why not?
Before we make love
I want you to put on something sexy!
I know! Put on that thing I got
for you last Valentine's Day.
The ski parka?
Yeah, get that on!
- I want you in that!
- OK, George!
Don't start without me!
All right! Everybody,
we are moving to the basement!
- What?
- What?
Fondue is being served
in the basement!
- I'm going nowhere with this hooker!
- Piss off, Chucky!
Don't call me Chucky, God-damnit!
Oh, Jesus!
Help me! Help me!
Stop!
I'm here, poopsie! Take me!
Somebody stop this dog!
Has anybody seen my crow?
- That's it! We are leaving!
- No! We're leaving first, hooker!
George!
There's a fetus riding our dog!
Tastes like failure.
I sure screwed things up
this time, didn't I?
How could I think you wouldn't notice
my state dinner in the other room?
I am so dumb!
I could have won
Special Olympics tonight!
I'm not upset because
you had a big state dinner tonight.
You're not?
I'm upset because if I knew there was
an abortion dinner, I'd have understood.
But you didn't tell me
because we hardly talk anymore!
But you said you'd be upset
if I canceled.
I'm not unreasonable,
I just wanna know what's going on.
- Is that so much to ask?
- I'm sorry.
It's just I really thought I could unite
both sides of this abortion issue.
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所属电视剧:That's My Bush! (2001)
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