Corrections by Elderfel - Am I all packed, Gary? - Yeah, we're all covered.
The thing about Ohio is the weather is completely schizophrenic.
- I know.
- We dress you wrong, you're either freezing like a popsicle or you're sweating like a hog.
- Or a ballerina or modern dancer.
- Okay, it's fine.
Is there an indoor pool at this place? I packed my swimsuit.
Why are you asking me that? And have we heard from the president on the economic forum? Uh, yeah.
Last I heard, he was three over par.
- Huh? - Oh, forum's not happening.
Potus took a golf day.
Do you know who he's playing golf with? - No, who? - No, no, no, who? Oh, you don't know and you want me to find out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
Sorry.
- Dan.
Dan Egan.
- Hey.
Good to see you again, buddy.
I miss your emails.
Long time no cc.
Still up here in Cleveland, huh, will? Just rutting around with the regional swine? Slaving away for Furlong? Well, I am the senior advisor now.
So I get free wi-fi.
I'll be going to D.
C.
.
A lot more.
Oh, my God.
With that provincial sensibility and that girlish figure, you're not gonna last.
Listen, Dan, the congressman expects your boss to endorse him for governor.
Yeah, we're aware of that.
It's gotten a bit complex, all right? So the congressman would like to speak with you in his room.
If you'd just join me, okay? Ah, I recognize you.
You're one of Selina's little gay dwarves, aren't you? What, are you sappy? Is that it? Preppy? Actually, my name is Dan Egan.
You might remember, actually, I used to work for congresswoman Hayes.
Oh, my gosh, of course I don't remember that.
Listen, I need your help, buddy.
I need you to go back and tell Selina that I don't want her to endorse me for governor, okay? She's about as welcome here as a turd in a hot tub.
Well, that could be a bit of an issue.
We're trying to run a fundraiser and she's kind of toxic at the box office, all right? We're having to bump our silver plates up to gold plates, gold plates are going up to platinum plates.
I'd make more money if I installed will here as a full-time gloryhole greeter at a Georgetown gay bar.
Which I'm pretty sure he already does part-time.
- Right, will? - Yes, sir.
Congressman, she's on her way here right now.
So what? There's plenty to do here in Cleveland.
Send her to the rock and roll hall of fame.
First time I took this kid, one look at Kurt Cobain's shoes, he was bawling like a fucking baby.
"It's too soon! It's too soon!" Ma'am, Martin Collins, the secret service guy we reassigned - Mm-hmm.
- He's back.
He's been un-reassigned.
- Are you kidding me? - Not great, admittedly.
"Not great, admittedly"? Yeah, that should be the title of my fucking memoir.
He's not outside here, is he? Oh, hi! Oh, my! Okay, great.
All right, that's all I want to say to him for the rest of my life.
Hey, approval ratings just came through.
- Oh.
- 66%.
- What? - Approve.
- Oh! - Sorry, disapprove.
- Oh.
- Dis You know what? You go ride with the security detail.
There's no room for you in this car.
She can thank the troops, she can charm all the mouth-breathers, and then she can go back to D.
C.
No big deal.
The one thing she will not be doing is standing up and endorsing me.
You got me? I get the stamp of approval from her, and I might as well nail a bunch of puppies to the ground and then start running them over and crush their skulls with my campaign bus.
All due respect, we did have a informal understanding that she would endorse your run for governor.
All right, well, all due respect, cock nugget, there's been a little too much of this informal understanding going on around here.
- Isn't that right, will? - Yes, sir.
Clean jobs was your office, right? And its role in the Macauley amendment.
Getting senator Macauley to sneak in the VP's lame-ass legislation against the president's will.
Macauley thing, yeah, that didn't happen.
Will, tell him who I am.
Sir, you're the vice chair of the congressional oversight committee.
And in that capacity, I have a duty to shine a light on any of this kind of backseat, finger-fucking insider bullshit, Dan.
Thank you for your time, congressman.
I will do what I can.
Don't endorse.
She seems nice.
'Cause of that smiling secret service guy, Amy, That's everyone in America who's awake right now.
Okay, let's not concentrate on that today.
Let's concentrate on Ohio.
How could that many Americans not like me? I think they got it wrong.
They counted those numbers wrong or something.
Or all those Americans are completely wrong.
Okay, this is the hotel manager.
We promised him four seconds.
Madam Vice President.
Welcome to our hotel.
We have to take the vice president away.
Apologies.
Why have I been given this pig's blood? It's tomato juice.
It's the Ohio state beverage.
- Oh, piss.
Ma'am.
- Yeah? They're having trouble moving big donor tickets.
- What? - Yeah.
- Why? Because of me? - No.
Amy, you're gonna have to start getting everyone to like me.
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