10. D.C. (第2季)【完整台词】

Yes, ma'am.

Good.

Go ahead.

Congressman Wow, you're fast.

Just wondering if you could use a top press guy.

Ha! I really don't have any need for you, Mike.

You're kind of obsolete.

You're like a Viking stuck in time.

- I have excellent contacts.

- Really? Very high up people, sir.

Very high up.

Maybe you can hook me up with Charlize Theron.

Funny, but I'm being serious, sir.

No, I'm being serious, too.

I'd like to fuck her.

Why'd you leave anyway? You get stuck with your dick in the veep's decaf? No, we just all need new challenges.

We? What, is the whole team leaving? - No, no.

No, sir.

- Holy shit.

- She's leaving the ticket.

- No, absolutely not.

We had a fucking deal.

I make Senate in two years, we run together as a team in six.

- That was the deal.

- Why don't you fucking kill yourself, Will? Let me be clear, sir.

She may be planning to run in six years if she was leaving the ticket, which I have not actually said she will.

Oh, fucking God, thank you for stopping.

You know what? If I didn't already know how shitty you are at your job, you just proved it.

I have some very big news, ma'am.

Well, I have huge news.

In fact, I guarantee you that my news is front-page news.

Your news is probably more like a page six, Kardashian crap news.

POTUS knows how this is all going to end, so he drank the poisoned Kool-Aid from my very big, blue mug.

- Huh? - He isn't going to run again in two years.

Are you serious? No, I'm Joan fucking Rivers.

Of course I'm serious.

Once the party leadership figures out he's not gonna run, then all the impeachment bullshit is just gonna fade away.

So, um-- so why didn't he tell me this? Why are you telling me this? Because he couldn't stomach the look-- like that, just like that-- of unbridled joy.

Ben, I am crying very quietly on the inside.

While in your mind you're doing pirouettes on his grave.

Oh, don't tell me you're not happy about this.

You're finally getting out of here.

Well, it's not the job that's depressing.

Life is depressing.

Let's go.

No, I've got it.

I can do this.

I'm fine.

Yes! Fuck! Gosh! Ahem.

Hi, Sue.

We'd like to see the vice president as a matter of some urgency.

- No.

- Fuck this, I'm going in the side door.

You do and Secret Service might break your neck.

- That would be a tragedy.

- Yeah? Ma'am.

- Oh, hi, Roger.

- Can we talk? Of course we can talk.

Hey, could I have my yogurt, please? Oh, here.

Don't eat it too fast.

Oh, stop it, Nervous Nelly.

All right, get me something sloppy with a spoon to eat.

- Do you want some yogurt? - No, thanks.

- You look good, by the way.

- Oh, thanks.

What, are you working out or what? Yeah, I'm burning calories with the old anxiety diet.

- Oh.

- You know, the anxiet.

If you want to get some cardio exercise, you have to have a heart.

I heard a pretty lousy rumor that you're not running for reelection with POTUS in two years.

- Oh.

- And that would be disturbing because I kind of need you to run as VP again.

And then I get in the Senate and then you and I run together as a team.

- Remember, that was the deal.

- Yeah, I remember that.

Where did you hear this rumor? Oh, I heard it from the Gingerhead Man.

The gash with the stash.

McLintock.

What, are you kidding me? Mike sees knowledge as the enemy.

Forget about that.

Then you are running with the president in two years? I am absolutely running in two years.

And then four years after that, reelection, baby.

What do you mean reelection? Not reelection.

Election at that time.

- Yep.

Right.

- You and I election.

Wait.

But why did you say reelection? - What? - You said reelection.

Which implies that perhaps something else is going on.

I meant election.

You know what I meant.

- But you said reelection.

- I meant election, okay? It's like saying flammable or inflammable.

- It's the same thing.

- I smell a fucking rat.

- Oh, stop it.

- I'll tell you what it is, too.

It's this whole administration.

And I'm gonna light a fire under the whole thing.