10. D.C. (第2季)【完整台词】

The president is coming here? Gary, Dana just cleared security.

This is anarchy.

Hey, ma'am, is now a bad time to talk to Dana? - Yeah! - Okay, let me just go fix that.

I'll fix that.

- Hey.

Hey.

- Gary who I'm gonna marry.

Fiancée in the house.

Ooh, ooh! This is not a good time, baby.

I brought the Pecorino Duo Grande sampler.

- Shaved and grated.

- Okay, I'll just give this to her.

But why? Oh, my God, is it Selina? Right? She doesn't like me, is that it? - She loves you.

- Then what is it? Shh, shh.

- POTUS is coming.

- Oh, my God! There's a lot of security and he doesn't like a lot of people around.

He should get the basket.

Right? We'll get him to tweet about it.

It'll be great publicity.

You know I'm right.

Is he gonna drop me from the ticket? - Is that what's going on? He's gone postal.

- I have no idea.

- Ma'am.

- What? You've got to mello yellow.

Don't tell me not to panic.

I know how to freak out, okay? Everybody can just shut the shit up.

- I got to think.

- Okay.

- We know what she's like.

- Andrew, don't talk to me.

Ma'am, should I get Jonah to get the kids-- I'll get Jonah to get the kids out.

Jonah, why don't you put the kids in my office? - Mike.

Mike.

- Is the president coming? - Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! - Ma'am, I'm coming.

- I'm here.

I'm here.

- Come here.

- We got to make a statement.

- Okay.

Because I think POTUS is coming here to kick me off the ticket.

And I've got to make a statement saying I'm leaving the ticket before he drops me from it.

I've got to jump before we get stabbed in the back.

- Danny Chung is making an announcement.

- What? I was proud to serve in the military.

I'm proud to serve as a governor.

Today I've set up an exploratory committee - to look into whether in a couple of years - Okay.

I might be of use serving at an even higher level.

Does she make you happy? Because I make you happy.

Of course you make me happy, baby.

- Ma'am, we're gonna have to ask you to leave.

- What is this? Oh, my God.

What's going on? We are gonna talk about this when we get home.

- You are my diamond.

- I am a diamond in the rough.

- I know you're a diamond.

- Get your hands off me.

I know what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna run against Chung.

Okay? I'm gonna take myself off the ticket.

I'll run against Chung and I'll run against POTUS.

It'll be like a political massacre.

Quit freaking out.

You need to get your head together.

What do you mean? The president's gonna be here any second.

Lookie, lookie, lookie, lookie.

- This is for you.

- What? It's like a Pecorino peace offering.

What the crippling fuck is going on with you? - I got rid of Dana.

- You've got to get out of here.

- Get out of here.

- I have POTUS incoming! - I have POTUS incoming! - Make a statement, Mike.

- About what? About what? - Everything.

All possible statements that you can even think of.

Okay, I'll come up with something.

- Let's go say hi to POTUS.

- Don't talk to me like I'm a crazy person.

I didn't mean to.

It came out weird.

Make a hole, yo.

POTUS coming through.

Make a hole.

You're not the president.

No, but you're not Justin Bieber either, are you, sport? Ma'am.

POTUS is here.

Where? Has he been miniaturized? He's right in that room.

Would you care to join him in your office? Uh - Am I about to get whacked? - No, no, no.

No, it's good to see you again.

Take care.

Your boss wants to see you.

Don't keep him waiting.

What's going on here? Is it Bring a Disparate Person to Work Day? Uh, Selina is about to get a Potal bullet through the head and you are all about to be unemployed and homeless.

But, Amy, I don't want you to worry.

You can crash at my place.

We're so fucked.

We're so fucked.

We've fucked DC over so many different ways, no one's gonna hire us now.

How am I gonna pay for my fucking boat? Enough about the fucking boat, Mike.

Take a flare gun, put it in your mouth, and blow your head off.

Listen to yourselves.

You people are monsters.