Kyle, we need to blow up the Veep's visit to the British pub, okay? We are running some reverse My Fair Lady shit here.
We're showing she's a regular gal.
Mark, the memorial.
We need a ton of coverage.
It's 100 years from World War I, Selina's back in black, she's looking good, and it's "Good Mourning, America" mourning with a "u.
" Sue.
I need you to get Selina a meeting with Prince Charles, that 65-year-old fuckin' intern.
Okay? Dan, if you want to get into the palace at short notice, you're going to have to storm it yourself! Okay, Sue, listen.
This is me, campaign manager, telling you, schedule woman, to just, you know, make that happen.
All right, all right.
Someone get me the Prince of Wales' private secretary on the phone, stat.
Tough call.
Then again, you're a tough caller.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Hey.
Listen.
I am thrilled to be here looking presidential, of course.
But what about POTUS? Is there any more news from him? No, he definitely wanted to come.
He had to stay and close the China deal.
He had tickets for a West End musical.
Something with a duck or a ghost.
I don't remember.
Hey, is FLOTUS having an affair? - Not that I would blame her.
- Have you seen her lately? - She's lost a lot of weight.
- A lot, right? Her neck is like stretched cheese.
- Yeah, it looks bad now.
- Right? - Bad.
- It's gone bad.
Hello again, Mr.
Ambassador.
And you know Peter Mitchell, Deputy Prime Minister? Yeah, we met in Hong Kong.
Heroin and Chinese food.
Noodles and needles.
It was actually the solar energy summit in Stockholm.
That's the one, that's the one.
Same vibe.
is so my area, Amy.
How does this sound? "In four years, "16 million perished.
"In the silent aftermath, "towns grieved for their fallen young men.
" This is my masterpiece.
I mean, I'm nailing pathos to the fricking wall here.
Death, glory, folly, tragedy.
It's got the four main mood groups.
So have you set up the secret Transatlantic Security Organization meeting - with the German chancellor? Mmm-hmm.
At the cathedral.
She can lie to the Brits and go straight to confession.
The Brits are gonna be unhappier.
I need a stiff fuckin' drink.
In related news, Ray's talking.
- Oh, God.
To smart people? - Yeah.
He's currently with a woman from the Bank of England.
It's like watching a goat trying to use an ATM.
You know, because money is just a concept.
You know, we believe in it because we're too scared not to.
There's no intrinsic value to it.
- It's not like muscles in your arms.
- Well Okay, I think that's quite a superficial analysis.
You know what "intrinsic" means? - Yeah.
- Yeah, I try to learn a word a day.
I love words very ardently.
Yeah.
Sorry, who are you again? The Transatlantic Security Organization that's going to Frankfurt and not here? Because Honestly, we haven't made a decision about that yet.
Right.
And I hope that "honestly" isn't one of those words that's lost its meaning whilst traveling the Atlantic.
What about the censure vote in the House of Commons tomorrow? How do you think that's gonna go? - On spying? - Mmm-hmm.
- It'll be defeated.
- Oh, good.
But then you probably know that already.
I'm relieved to hear that.
I really am.
You know, 'cause the U.
S.
doesn't spy on its allies.
- Now I'm relieved.
- We collect data.
- Same thing.
- Oh.
No.
No? Gary, what do you think? Well, I Gary likes to keep his cards close to his chest.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
No, please, do share.
I'm just "collecting data.
" Yeah.
Um, I think it's very nuanced.
And I think there's a lot of different sides to a lot of different topics that are out there that I think we could Gary, I need that lipstick.
- Thank you so much.
- Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
Madam out there hobnobbing us here in the servants' quarters.
It's like Downton Abbey.
"McClintock, Lady Selina wishes to eat "a Cornish pasty in the paddock this evening.
"Post-haste, you bugger!" I love that voice.
It makes me feel inadequate and horny.
The dream.
Ray, I don't know if you've met the Deputy Prime Minister.
- Ray Whelans.
- Pleasure.
- Wellness consultant.
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