East Coast polls are closing, ma'am.
Ma'am History is calling, and it won't go to voicemail.
Hey.
You okay, ma'am? Oh, I'd love one, Gary.
Thank you.
Okay, I'll get I'll get you one.
Well, I've asked America if she wants me to be her president.
Now she's gonna give us her answer.
America doesn't just love you, ma'am, she is in love with you.
We've lost Kentucky! So I assume you reached out to the O'Brien camp.
Taking a meeting with Charlotte or with Kim? No, I haven't contacted the O'Brien team.
Amy, if he wins, our lobbying stock is gonna droop like a chimp's tits.
We're not gonna be the golden kids anymore.
We've got to stay on his radar.
But we need to be in with her, too.
- She might win.
- Yeah.
Well, on air I'm gonna keep in with her.
Off air I'm telling the Nazis that she's hiding in the attic.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey, so we have Sally Davenport with us, of course.
We've also got Matty Curtis.
- Wow.
- Love that guy.
The online statistics savant.
Yeah, in the midterms, he predicted the margin in every Senate seat.
So, suck it, Fox.
So we doing this or what? Hey, well, thank God you're here.
No one else here knows how tonight will go.
Have fun.
- Yeah, we'll see you out there.
- Okay.
So, closest election in living memory.
- Yeah.
- Hope you guys are prepared.
- We will do our best.
- Well, we're gonna need better than that.
- Okay.
- I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
But you better be good.
Sorry, guys, we need this area to be clear.
Hey, wait, it's the testicle man.
Guilty as charged.
Check 'em, don't neglect 'em.
This whole scrotum situation is really working out for you, sir.
That hearing was terrible, but it really got my face out there, you know? You're the face of workplace bullying and genital health.
Look at this.
Mike wants me up in the presidential suite to get a one-on-one thank-you from the president.
- How do I look? - Great.
Thanks.
Oh, no, no, no.
One-on-one.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Oh, man, election nights are my cocaine.
It used to be election nights and cocaine were my cocaine, but If Fox says it's close, then it must be.
- Then again, they said the Rapture was close.
- Anything yet? Indiana and South Carolina, they just called for O'Brien.
Uh, Vermont and Connecticut, yep, they're for us.
Yeah, Vermont! Yeah, Connecticut! Okay, settle down.
A bowl of hair could win those states.
- Ma'am, you have a moment for Jonah? - Oh, Jonah.
Oh, yeah.
I want to thank you for your work on men's health and talking about that bullying that you had to endure.
Thank you, ma'am.
It was my honor You know what? I need to thank Vermont.
Yeah, that's it, Jonah.
It's been a busy night.
What was that? I got, like, four seconds.
Well, most people get just two.
Projections for Wisconsin, ma'am.
- Great.
- I haven't read them yet.
I'm saving that for when I go to prison.
Even money they give you the chair.
No one came out of the hearings unscathed, Bill.
I had to ditch my fiancé.
I'll be thinking about that while I'm with whichever guy - makes me his prison fiancé.
- Ew.
Oh, Gary, I asked a friend to come and be with me tonight.
- How nice.
- Yeah, Karen.
- Fuck! - What? Cramp.
Senator O'Brien has 33 electoral votes based on our projection.
President Meyer has 10.
Is this significant, Dan? Oh, I think it's far, far too early to tell at this point.
- I mean the election really - Very significant.
Uncertainty in battleground states is bleeding into other areas.
It's the suburbs that are gonna decide this contest.
Well, Amy, Dan, who do you feel will win tonight? - It's so close.
- So close.
It's a tough call to make at this point.
Mm-hmm, and not just for us, Greg, but for America.
That was transcendent bullshitting.
Well, I'll tell you one thing, if I do lose, I'm gonna lose like a winner.
- You're not gonna lose, okay? - Right.
Right.
You're gonna win in a slide.
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