Fundamentally, the Families First bill will help our most vulnerable kids, like the little boy in Seattle who asked Santa to teach him how to read for Christmas.
How did he write the note? Or the little girl down in Pine Hill, Alabama.
She's HIV positive via breast milk, but who still dreams of becoming a ballerina.
Well, they do need to stay thin.
- And why shouldn't they? - What? They do.
We want to give all kids a reason to dance, you know? - Sir.
- Yes? - The HIV girl.
- Yes? The one that the president mentioned in the CBS interview.
- Yes? - All right, well, some people on Reddit put the details together, now the whole town knows who she is.
Fuck! I preferred the Internet when it was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid.
- Did we definitely out this girl? - Yeah.
- Shit.
- Only her doctor and her principal knew.
Now parents are keeping their kids home from school 'cause they don't want them to, quote, "catch AIDS.
" Well, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade or a goddamn library.
Where did this data come from? How did we get her medical records? And why didn't we ask her parents' permission? Oh, thank you, Question Man.
You just saved the entire city.
Or did you? This is catching fire like a gas station - in a Michael Bay movie.
- Yeah.
- What's our line here? - Do we tell the president? - No.
- No? No, she's gonna panic.
We got to find out more facts, all right? - Bozos, disassemble.
- All right.
I always feel like the ruching on this one really accentuates your figure.
Okay, you're right.
Let's go with that.
Okay, I'll have the valet lay this out for you.
- No, you can do it.
- Oh.
- Reminds me of an easier time, you know? - Right.
Or a time whose problems I've suppressed.
Right.
Oh, there's my favorite slice of fun.
Look at this.
What is this? Catherine, you are smoking? I'm vaping.
That's not the point.
This has been happening every week.
My private life should be off-limits.
I see that you are still seeing Jason.
He photographs well for his age.
Ma'am, the Apple Growers Association would like to name a new brand of apple after you.
Is it a good apple? - It's a baking apple.
- Fuck 'em.
Oh, and Bill Ericsson wants to see you before you leave about Catherine.
- The smoking photograph.
- Vaping.
Actually, there is a Photoshopped image in the "Post" of what you and Catherine might look like if you had eight years in power.
Oh, my God, I look like Grandpa.
What? What did they do to my nose? - Mom, what about me? - Huh? Yeah, I know.
This is so disrespectful.
Where is Mike? Is he still doing his gaggle? - Yes, he's gaggling, ma'am.
- All right.
Will the president be commenting on this breaking story about little Jennifer Graham? Uh, yes.
We will very soon have a statement on that.
The White House released the girl's private information.
Where did this confidential data come from? I know that the president confirmed that she does have HIV.
And the girl, that is, has HIV.
But the provenance of that data has yet to be determined.
- Ma'am, Mike is just - Yeah, I know, he's fluffing the hacks.
- Ma'am, this isn't a good time.
- Hi, everybody.
Is Mike sharing his donut holes with y'all? And, Lyle, I hope that you're gonna bring your daughter to the Easter egg roll.
Oh, thank you for remembering I have a daughter, ma'am.
Oh, of course, yeah.
- And also my name.
- Yes.
- It's Lyle.
- It's Lyle and it's my pleasure.
Hey, you know, speaking of daughters, I just wanted to mention Catherine.
I know that she's the First Daughter, but I would be very grateful if you guys would just give her a little bit of space in her private life.
I mean, you know, I'm the rock star.
She's not the rock star.
So, thanks, I appreciate it.
Great to see everybody.
With respect, ma'am, do you think those same privacies should be given to an eight-year-old girl with HIV? Um, well HIV is a terrible burden and I'm very happy to be helping families who are affected by it.
That is off the record.
Okay, this briefing is over.
Nice to see you guys.
I'll see you at the Easter egg roll.
- My my friend, yes.
- Lyle.
What the hell? Where did HIV come from? I think some guy fucked a monkey.
Jesus Christ! Why didn't you warn me about that, Mike? Ma'am, I tried to right when you came in.
- No, you didn't.
- You're right, I didn't.
- I should have.
- That's right.
- You were right, ma'am.
- Yeah, no, you didn't warn me at all.
What the fuck is happening? It's a data breach.
Medical, Social Security records were hacked by someone working for us and then put into the Families First press pack.
That's not just a breach.
That's a data rupture.
All of these words are meaningless to me.
Here's what we're gonna do.
It's an outrageous idea.
Let's find the person who's responsible and let's fire them.
Ma'am, there's so much data fluidity on this project, the culprit will be hard to pin down.
Well, the press doesn't need the culprit.
The press needs a culprit.
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