1
(theme music playing)
Selina: Jesus Beverly
Christ, I'm starving.
- Do you want a juice box?
- Where was that an hour ago?
- Ma'am.
- What?
We have a lead on a
site for your library.
Eastern Shore of Maryland.
If it was any more Kennedy-esque,
it would drive you into the ocean.
Eastern Shore, very classy.
Fittingly, I lost my
back-virginity in Assateague.
I once lost my wallet in Denver.
We need a down payment of five mil.
- Yeah.
- Ma'am, Tanz at 2:00.
Where?
No, ma'am, you have a meeting
with Tanz at 2:00.
- Oh, thank you very much, Richard.
- Absolutely.
- (reporters clamoring)
- President Meyer! President Meyer!
Can we get a few words
about the late Justice Tenny?
Absolutely.
He was a
friend to all people,
especially corporations, who he
legally considered to be people.
- Thank you.
- Madam President,
any idea who President
Montez is considering
for the open Supreme Court seat?
No, no, no, no, no, there
is absolutely no validity
to the rumor that the president
is being considered for the seat.
- Do you mean President Meyer?
- Is that even a rumor?
At this point, that's all we can say.
- Bye.
- Ma'am!
(reporters clamoring)
- What in the holy fuck was that, Mike?
- I'm so sorry, ma'am.
I just habitually deny
everything these days.
It gets me in trouble with Wendy, too.
The other day, I flushed
a comb down the toilet.
You know what I don't need is examples.
I do wanna hear the end of that, though.
No, no, there's absolutely
no validity to this rumor
Well, if you like, Jane, I can
float your name out there for you.
You think I'd make a good judge?
You do like throwing books at people.
When we return, more of that
signature Danny Egan wit.
Plus, reading
could it be bad for
your child's self-esteem?
Why one Texas housewife
wants to phase it out.
- And we are clear.
- That was funny.
Not too far?
No, no, I said it was funny,
I meant it was funny.
- Keep it up.
- Okay, here we go.
I thought my charm campaign was
turning into a bit of a death march,
but I think I breached her defenses.
Jane: Stevie, when we
throw to commercial,
I want a full fucking
beaver shot with the legs.
Otherwise, what is the point?
Sorry, Jane.
Beave and legs, got it.
I don't see that much of a difference.
I mean, she pretty much likes everyone.
I need her to like me.
Can we
go easy on the bronzer, please?
I'm starting to look like
a diversity hire here.
I mean, Jane calls the shots,
and I wanna be taken seriously.
- I get ya.
- If I wanted people
to think that I actually
still cared about them,
I would've stayed in fucking politics.
Here are the notes on the kid chefs.
I'd be careful.
A couple
of them have colds.
Selina: I'm sweating my balls off here.
Is the air conditioning even on?
- I'm gonna check.
- Look what time it is, ma'am.
- What time?
- Memoir time.
- Oh, God.
- Last time,
you weren't comfortable just talking,
so I made a list of questions.
- Oh, okay, fine.
- First one
- as a female, do you feel that
- Pass!
- Ma'am, Sherman Tanz is here.
- Selina: Oh, my God.
- All right, get out of here, Mike.
- Great session.
- Sherman!
- Madam Pardoner.
Don't mention it.
Ever.
(both laugh)
- Come in, take a seat.
- Thanks.
So, we have something to toast
because we found
property for my library.
Oh, wonderful! You know, I'm on
the board at the Nixon Library.
- Oh, good for you.
- The miserable anti-Semite,
- but a great friend of Israel.
- Yes, yes.
So, how much do you need?
Do you know, by the way,
that my father was an
associate of Bebe Rebozo's?
Uh-huh, you're stalling.
It must be a big number.
- (chuckles) No, I don't want it.
- You have back trouble?
You know what helps? Bananas.
- Oh, is that so?
- The potassium.
Oh, of course, yeah.
That makes sense.
It's a little ache.
It's nothing.
- If you're not using that
- Oh, absolutely!
- I never turn down a warm compress.
- Then take it.
Let's give Mr.
Tanz a compress.
- Sir, of course.
- Okay, good.
- What, no massage?
- (chuckles)
- Gary, massage him.
- Mm-mm.
Mm-hmm.
I believe you were about
to mention a number.
- Yes.
- Ooh.
Ah.
- Just go deep.
Just go deep for him, yes.
- (Sherman groaning)
I was thinking in the ballpark
of maybe five million.
- That's a big ballpark.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
But I think five million is swingable.
Oh, bless your heart and
your deep pockets, Sherman.
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