You're a freak.
Oh, where the heck is that brooch?
GIRL: If I can change,
and you can change,
everybody can change.
Thank you, Eva.
That was a-a lovely reading from Rocky IV.
All right, Mr.
Cooper.
The stage is yours.
Thank you.
I'd like to begin with a
monologue from King Lear.
What?
I believe you're supposed
to say âbreak a leg.
â
Sorry.
Break a leg.
Poor naked wretches, whereso'er you are,
that bide the pelting
of this pitiless storm.
How shall your houseless
heads and unfed sides,
your looped and windowed
raggedness defend you
from seasons such as these?
Oh, I've ta'en too little care of this.
Take physic, pomp.
Expose thyself to feel
what wretches feel,
that thou may shake
the superflux to them
and show the heavens more just.
Holy mackerel.
Don't cry for me, Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep
Your distance
[âI'VE GOT RHYTHMâ PLAYING ON PIANO]
I've got daisies
In green pastures
I've got my girl
Who could ask for anything more
Old man trouble
I don't mind him
You won't find him
Hanging 'round my door
I've got starlight
I've got sweet dreams
I've got my star
Who could ask for anything more?
Who could ask for
Anything more?
Ah.
[WHOOPS]
That looked dangerous.
No, that looks dangerous.
We're back.
Hey.
How'd the audition go?
Great.
I got the lead.
You're kidding.
What's the play?
Annie.
I need to go learn my lines.
Now, I was a little unsure at first,
but Sandy Duncan does play Peter Pan,
so when you think about it
Connie, you're not helping.
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Hey.
Hello.
[SIGHS] I want to talk
to you about this play.
I'm excited about it, too.
You know, if you play
the part of a girl,
people might make fun of you.
Mr.
Lundy's trying
to push the boundaries
of drama in East Texas.
One way to do that is
cross-gender casting.
Let me rephrase that:
if you play the part of a girl,
people will make fun of you.
In Shakespeare's time, the men
played all the female parts.
No one made fun of it.
If Shakespeare went
to public high school,
it'd be a different story.
You know, Sandy Duncan plays
the part of Peter Pan
Yeah, yeah, I heard.
[EXHALES]
I'm trying to protect you, son.
I appreciate that.
Good.
You're a football coach.
Isn't it your responsibility
to put in the best player for the job?
I guess.
Well, I want to do this,
and Mr.
Lundy said I was the best.
Okay.
Can you at least wear
pants instead of a dress?
I'll give you a definite maybe.
Okay, who's excited?
I don't want to see Sheldon's
stupid play, it's humiliating.
That's why I want to see it.
We're going to support your brother.
Not another word about it.
Can we at least sit in the back?
Not a word.
Well, I'm excited.
Okay, everybody, ten minutes to curtain.
No smiling, girls,
it's a hard knock life.
How you doing, Mr.
Cooper?
You in touch with your inner Annie?
I believe so.
Good.
It's a packed house.
[LAUGHS]
Wha oh, what the heck?
Katie? Katie.
You're an orphan,
sweetheart, not a coal miner.
Let's tone that down, hmm?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[HEART BEATING RAPIDLY]
Oh, dear.
I can't do this.
What are you talking about?
The play, I can't do it.
There are too many people out there.
Oh, that is just stage fright.
That's completely normal.
No, this is a full-blown panic attack.
All right, listen to me.
You're feeling scared.
I get that, but what
you have to understand
is you're not going
out on that stage alone.
Everybody, gather around, hmm?
Uh, Sheldon,
have you ever been to the circus?
- Yes.
- Okay, good.
I had a panic attack there, too.
My point is,
the trapeze artist
always performs with a net
to catch him, to protect him.
And you are protected by
everyone standing here.
Nothing can happen to
you out on that stage,
because we're a team.
We are your net.
I don't know.
[SIGHS]
Sheldon, come here.
You
are a star,
and that audience
deserves to see you shine.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
ADULT SHELDON: Mr.
Lundy
gave a compelling speech.
The audience did deserve
to see what they came for,
an eager boy bravely taking on
the role of Little Orphan Annie.
You're looking for a knuckle sandwich.
And in that respect, they
were not disappointed.
Pipe down, all of you.
Go back to sleep.
It's all right, Molly.
Annie's here.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, thank God.
I'd tell you how an East Texas
audience in 1989 responded
to a grown man playing Annie,
but I think you know.
Mm-hmm.
[WHISPERS]: What's my line?
The sun come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There'll be sun
When I'm stuck with a day that's gray
And lonely
I just stick out my chin and grin
And say
Oh
I think I see his underpants.
I told you.
Theatre folk just love to
show off their business.
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