I have beautiful hair.
That's the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
Didn't you already read that book?
I'm reading it again.
How come?
I clearly missed something.
I couldn't find one person
who wanted to be my friend.
Did you look at the card inside?
Why?
That's just other people
who checked out the book.
It's a list of losers like
you who can't find a friend.
So?
So they're desperate,
and you have their names.
That's brilliant.
Mm.
Now, how is it that you can't count?
Well, can't you see
her standing there?
So your father tells me
you've been reading a new book?
I am.
It's about how to make friends.
Is that something you're interested in?
Not really, but Missy told me
it makes you sad that I don't have any.
Oh.
I got to sew that girl's mouth shut.
So how's it going?
Well, the principles in the
book didn't work for me at all.
Although Dad does like
being called George
over and over again, so
you might give that a try.
Baby, you don't have to
go to any trouble for me.
But I like doing things for you.
You're a nice lady.
- But if the book's not working
- It isn't.
But I realized if I
find the other people
who checked out the book, they'd
be looking for friends, too.
That's really smart.
- Missy thought of it.
- You're kidding.
I'm as surprised as you are.
Oh, oh-oh, oh.
[DISTANT CHATTER]
Excuse me, Ms.
Ingram?
Sheldon, it's recess.
Go outside, see what it's like.
Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram?
Yes.
The same Evelyn Ingram
who checked out this book?
- And why is that your business?
- I just
assumed you were
looking to make a friend.
Oh.
[LAUGHS]
Well, that was a long time ago.
I had just gotten out of a
very difficult relationship.
- With a friend?
- Friend.
Ha! I gave that man
three years of my life
and my innocence.
I don't know what that means.
It means men are lying dogs
only interested in one thing
Well, that's not the
dictionary definition.
Mm-hmm.
Always starts the same.
A quick glance across the room,
a casual hand on the shoulder,
lunch at Stuckey's.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, yeah, it's all romance
and flowers in the beginning
ADULT SHELDON: The list proved
to be a double-edged sword.
It turns out self-help
books written in 1936
were only of interest to adults.
You're like, "I'm here because I care.
And by the way, your phone
could make calls, too.
"
Then tries to turn
this whole thing around
like it's all about you being needy,
and you're like, "Yes, I have needs!
That's what makes me human!"
ADULT SHELDON: Emotionally troubled adults.
Child, go outside.
Yes, that's my
signature.
Why do you ask?
I'm seeking people who
want to make friends.
I wasn't interested in friends.
I took out that book to help
me become school principal.
- Did it work?
- Are we sitting in the principal's office?
- No.
- And you know why?
Because Victoria MacElroy is not a man!
So to be clear, you're not
interested in making friends?
What I'm interested in
is in living long enough
to see women no longer treated
like second-class citizens.
Well if your goal is a long life,
that chili cheeseburger is a
step in the wrong direction.
Food is all I have.
ADULT SHELDON: Like I said,
emotionally troubled adults.
You gonna watch me eat?
Get out of here.
MAN: Everybody told me,
"Hubert, don't date
someone from work.
"
But did I listen? No.
Let me tell you
something.
She likes to say
I stole her innocence?
Well, what about my innocence?
I was never the same after we broke up.
ADULT SHELDON: Two years later,
Mr.
Givens became the
high school principal,
which might be why Ms.
MacElroy became morbidly obese.
I had the brains, I had the
charm, and I don't like to brag,
but I was pretty easy
on the eyes back then.
That woman got herself
one heck of a package.
But some people don't
want to be satisfied.
Is that any good?
I'm afraid not.
I failed to make a single friend.
That sucks.
I have a tough
time making friends, too.
The worst part is, it
was important to my mom.
My parents pressure me about
making friends all the time.
So you understand
what I'm going through.
Oh, I read that book.
It's excellent.
Are you into rocketry?
I started with water propulsion,
worked my way up to solid fuel,
then went back to water after
I set our garage on fire.
- Nice.
- I also tried to get some uranium
and build an atomic engine,
but that stuff's hard to find.
Probably for the best.
Well, good luck on your
quest to find a friend.
You, too.
If you haven't found one
yet, I have good news.
Mom, what do you know
about the drug Prozac?
Not much.
Supposed to make people happier.
Why?
I was just thinking
some of my teachers
might benefit from it.
Speaking of which,
you'll be happy to know
I made a friend today.
Oh.
Well, that's nice.
But, as I said, this isn't for me.
It's for you.
He made a friend!
He did it!
Our little boy has got a friend.
- Who is it?
- Who cares?
It's a human being.
It's a warm body.
- [KNOCKS]
- SHELDON: Mom?
Yes, honey?
- Can I come in?
- Of course.
Be cool.
- What's up, sweetie?
- I was wondering
when I could continue my rocketry hobby.
Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this.
You can build them.
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所属电视剧:Young Sheldon (2017)
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