Have you ever been to one of those?
They make you sit with strangers.
It's crazy.
Do you think a Spock
could become a Kirk?
Well, in my experience,
most people stay the
miserable bastards they are
their whole entire life.
But
I have seen some folks change.
Hmm.
All right.
Well, I'm gonna
go play with this train.
You do that.
[SIGHS]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
SHELDON: Georgie?
- Go away.
- I need to ask a favor.
What?
It's private.
Can I come in?
[SIGHS] Come on.
Ugh.
What do you want?
It occurs to me you
have something in common
with Captain Kirk.
We both have cool hair?
In order to succeed,
you both play fast and
loose with the rules.
Yeah, I suppose we do.
When you cheated on the math
test, what was your strategy?
Well, I guess the most important part
was not stepping on
anything wet before the test.
And not getting an "A.
"
Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
'Cause that would raise suspicions.
Who would believe I got an "A"?
Wow.
Tell me more.
Okay, when you're telling a lie,
it's important to throw in some details.
Like, when I was wanted to
spend the night at Ricky's house,
and Mom asked me if his mom
and dad were gonna be home,
I said, not only
are they be gonna be home,
his dad was gonna teach us
how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
I like turkey legs.
Were they good?
There weren't any turkey legs, you dope.
His parents were in Branson.
That's incredible.
I
totally believed you.
Details.
Now get out of here, I
got to finish reading this.
Thank you, Georgie,
that was very helpful.
[MAN SPEAKING ON TV]
Did you hear that?
What?
Sounds like Georgie and
Sheldon are getting along.
Really?
That can't be right.
I just heard it.
Maybe there's hope for
those two after all.
Or it's a sign of the apocalypse.
Honey, I'm-I'm watching this.
[EXHALES]
So you'll have to find someone else
to hold your ankles in P.
E.
today.
I'm sorry, what?
I've suffered a terrible injury
and won't be able to attend.
What happened?
See for yourself.
"Dear Coach Wilkins, please
excuse my son, Sheldon,
from P.
E.
He has experienced a testicular hernia,
and needs to rest for the
next six to eight weeks.
Sincerely, Mary Cooper.
"
Testicular hernia?
That's called details.
Ooh, that's rough.
Hmm.
How'd it happen?
It's hard to say,
but some risk factors include:
heavy lifting, a chronic cough
and repetitive straining
during bowel movements.
I've been there.
Hmm.
All right.
Guess I'll see you
in six to eight weeks.
["BAD TO THE BONE" BY
GEORGE THOROGOOD PLAYING]
ADULT SHELDON: I don't
know if other supervillains
started their careers
by getting out of P.
E.
,
but that's where I began.
Emboldened by my faux hernia,
I started taking books
out of the library
without getting the cards stamped.
You didn't check out those books.
I know.
Before you judge me too harshly,
I always brought them back on time.
I was a rule-breaker, not a lunatic.
But perhaps my most
satisfying transgression
was duping my sister
into relinquishing control of the TV.
Hello.
What's that for?
Oh, this? I was just digging
for money in Meemaw's backyard.
There's money there?
Oh, yes.
I already found 75 cents.
Who do you think left it?
If I were to guess,
I'd say pirates with
holes in their pockets.
Can I use your shovel?
Be my guest.
MISSY: Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.
Today, we're going to learn
about Sir Isaac Newton.
Hello, old friend.
One of the world's
greatest scientists
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[GRUNTS]
See you tomorrow, Wayne.
You have a good one, George.
Hey, how's your son doing?
Georgie?
No, the smart one.
He's fine.
Why?
What about the hernia?
What hernia?
The one your wife said he had.
Happened to me while I was in the Army.
I was in a bar in Georgia,
tried to lift up this big gal.
Swear I could hear
something pop down there.
Sheldon gave you this note?
Yeah.
I didn't write this.
You sure?
Looks like your handwriting.
It's got that little
swoopy thing going on.
I didn't write it.
And I think I'd know
if my son had a hernia.
So what, Sheldon forged a
letter to get out of P.
E.
?
Looks like it.
How about that.
Don't be proud of him.
Can't help it.
First time he ever seemed like my kid.
Do you have any idea
what's gotten into him?
I might.
Well?
Have you ever heard of
Mobokachi Kaboom?
Wait.
Koshimaki Magoo.
Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.
"Dear Professor Proton,
I would very much like to meet you,
and I only have three weeks to live.
Please come visit me
here in Medford, Texas.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
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所属电视剧:Young Sheldon (2017)
9. Spock, Kirk and Testicular Hernia 全部台词 (一共 4 页)
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