Sure.
You and me, getting
double dunked.
I like it.
Can you imagine afterwards?
All of our sins will be washed away.
Yeah, and we can start
cranking out fresh ones.
I just don't know where I went wrong.
Are you sure your
questioning was skillful?
I thought so, but after
two hours of interrogation,
all I could extract
from my sister's brain
was that there was some sort
of block with new kids on it.
Sheldon, how's your
educational project going?
Poorly.
I've hit a wall.
Have you considered B.
F.
Skinner's behavior modification?
- What's that?
- It uses punishment
and reward to get the results you want.
Ooh, punishment.
I
like the sound of that.
[QUIETLY]: In the
right context, so do I.
I took a real beating
at the craps table,
and then I won it all back
playing Caribbean Stud Poker.
Well, how does Caribbean
Stud Poker work?
I have no idea.
I was drunk off my ass.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- MARY: Way to go, Mom.
Way to lead a Christian life.
Oh, does my daughter think poorly of me?
Yes.
Good.
I can die happy.
Hey, Mom, just a heads-up,
I'm getting baptized tomorrow.
Good Lord.
That boy's randiness knows no bounds.
What are you talking about?
He's only doing it
'cause of that Veronica girl.
Oh, sure.
That makes sense.
What do you mean, it makes sense?
When I was his age, I
hitchhiked to Florida
'cause I had a friend
that had a girlfriend
who knew a girl who might be willing.
But then you met my
daughter and you didn't have
to travel so far.
[LAUGHS]
[BOTTLES CLINK]
SHELDON: According to B.
F.
Skinner,
if I can find the appropriate
punishment to motivate Missy,
there's no limit to what
she might be able to learn.
But what might that punishment be?
Whip her with a rubber hose?
No.
That sounds like a
recipe for tendonitis.
Administer small electric shocks?
Tricky.
If I get the voltage wrong, I
could spend the rest of my life
in an institution for
the criminally insane.
Or I inflict harm
on the object she loves
more than life itself.
Celeste, you're about to become
part of scientific history.
All right, everybody,
welcome to the 1990
East Texas Baptist Olympics.
[LAUGHS]
'Cause we're in the pool of water.
Anyway, I want to welcome
our little sister Veronica Duncan,
who I will be dunkin'.
[CHUCKLES]
Sorry.
I can't turn it off.
And
I also want to welcome
George Cooper, who has recently found
his way to the Lord.
Howdy.
Praise Jesus.
[SIGHS]
Are you ready to learn
some advanced calculus?
Nope.
Be right back.
Take your time.
Veronica, do you trust in Jesus Christ
as your personal Lord and savior?
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]: I do.
JEFF: It's upon your profession of faith
that I baptize you, my sister,
in the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Wade in the water
Wade
In the water, children, wade
In the water
Washing me down, washing me down
Wade
Dang.
All right, let's try this again.
Would you be ready to
learn some advanced calculus
if it saved Celeste's pigtails?
What are you doing? Put her down.
Not until I modify your behavior.
In the name of the Father,
Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Drop me in the water
Sheldon, I'm warning you.
ALL: Hallelujah!
[LAUGHS] We did it!
Tease me
Ooh, I'm so happy.
I love you.
Is it working? Are
you feeling motivated?
Very.
[ANIMAL GROWLING]
- [GEORGIE GRUNTS]
- [ALL GASPING]
Care to explain yourself?
I was trying to motivate Missy
to expand her intellectual horizons.
By torturing her Cabbage Patch doll?
Well, it's not like I
shocked her with electrodes,
- which was an option.
- Enough.
To be clear, I meant to
shock Missy, not the doll.
That would be ineffective.
Enough! And you.
Getting baptized just to kiss
a girl? What were you thinking?
Sounds like you know
what I was thinking.
Well, you are both grounded.
MISSY: Dear Alf, I'm your number one fan.
I like you because you're
an alien but you're funny,
unlike my brother who's
an alien but just a jerk.
Anyway, I hope you're enjoying
your time here on our planet
and have found things
to eat other than cats.
I recommend chicken nuggets.
Sincerely, Missy Cooper, age ten.
ALF: "P.
S.
My favorite
color is pink.
What's yours?"
Ha.
What a cutie pie.
Hey, hey, Barbara, we got any
more of those pink T-shirts
with my face on them?
I want to send one to
this Missy Cooper kid.
Oh, oh, and get me some
chicken nuggets, huh?
Hello? Anybody out there?
Apparently not.
Barb!
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所属电视剧:Young Sheldon (2017)
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