18. A Perfect Score and a Bunsen Burner Marshmallow (第2季)【完整台词】

You don't send people up right away; you start by spinning them around in that thing that makes them throw up.

I don't know.

Connie, despite appearances, I'm not some stereotypical absentminded professor who can't take care of a houseplant.

No, no, I wasn't saying that.

Yeah, maybe I was.

Here's an idea.

Why don't you and Sheldon come live with me? And then you can take care of both of us.

Trial run sounds like the way to go.

Not ready to shack up, are you? - No.

- Darn it.

The Earth is about 4.

5 billion years old.

- In the Cosmic Calendar, it's - Shelly, we need to talk to you.

All right.

Meemaw spoke to Dr.

Sturgis And? And he was open to you staying.

Yes! When can I go? Now, hold on.

Before you get ahead of yourself, this is just a trial run, for one night.

And even if it goes well, you're not starting college tomorrow.

It's just to see if this is an option for the future.

You understand? Yes.

The prospect of advancing to the next stage of academia had me feeling giddy.

And, on top of that, I got to pack a suitcase, which is like playing Tetris but with underwear.

You know, Shelly, it's okay if you're a little nervous.

You can tell me.

I'm not nervous.

All right.

When I was your age, a lot of times, I'd have to spend the weekend with my grandparents, and that always frightened me, 'cause they'd leave their teeth all over the place.

I never told anybody, but I wish I had.

That does sound upsetting.

Good thing I'm braver than you.

I'm just saying, it can be tough sleeping in a new place without your mom.

Dr.

Sturgis will be there.

He's like a mom.

But he's really smart.

Welcome! Come in, come in! You like chalkboards, huh? - Indeed, I do.

- Huh.

In fact, I even have one in the bathroom.

You never know when inspiration will strike.

I may be the luckiest boy in East Texas.

I know it's Thursday, so dinner will be spaghetti and hot dogs.

And, for fun, I have a few episodes of Cosmos recorded.

Forget "maybe.

" I am the luckiest boy.

Remember, it's a school night, so his bedtime is 7:30.

Mine, too! So far away Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? Shut up, Carole King.

Watching Cosmos while we're eating dinner? Am I awake? Because this feels like a dream.

Oh, not for me.

In my dreams, I'm usually running for my life from a giant praying mantis.

That's the insect where the female eats the male after mating? It is.

I think I understand why you're not married.

This little piggy's looking good.

Hey, baby.

- Hey.

- Need any help? No.

Do you want to do mine next? Why? Well, just seems like a thing mothers and daughters might do.

What's wrong with you? Nothing.

Never mind.

Georgie, what you up to? All my life, I've wondered about life beyond the Earth.

On those countless other planets that we think circle other suns, is there also life? Might the beings of other worlds resemble us, or would they be astonishingly different? Do you believe there's intelligent life in the universe? I have no doubt.

Why is that? The Drake Equation claims that there are at least 20 detectable civilizations in our Milky Way galaxy alone.

Interesting.

My sister likes to say that I'm an alien.

I've often been called that.

Once by the praying mantis in my dream.

Maybe we are aliens.

Perhaps.

Or maybe people like you and me were the original inhabitants of Earth, and everyone else is from outer space.

Ooh, I like that better.

In the great dark between the stars, there also are After dinner, want to toast marshmallows on a Bunsen burner? Good gosh, yes.

Good morning, everybody.

Good morning.

Angela, look, you know, I wanted to jot down some household hints, you know Want to go out and get some ice cream? I'm watching this.

Well, when it's over.

Not really.

Okay.

Want to play Monopoly? I'll let you be the thimble.

And then he said, "Boy, what a mess.

How about cleaning this up, huh?" Well, pooh to you.

Oh, yeah.

What about the little dog? Nope.

Finally, we strike the flint while turning up the gas of the Bunsen burner.

I don't say this often, but that may have been the perfect safety lecture.

Thank you.

You're my guest.

After you.

This is like being around a campfire, only I'm not miserable.

Would you like me to sing a cowboy song while we sit around our makeshift campfire? I would like that.

Oh, pity the cowboy All bloody and red For the bronco fell on him And bashed in his head There was blood on the saddle And blood all around And a great big puddle of blood On the ground.

"N.

" And there are two "N" s.

All right.

You want to go bowl a few frames? Don't you see me watching the Wheel? You can just say "no.

" No.

Have you talked to John tonight? - Yeah.

- And? He and Sheldon were watching TV without anybody yakking at 'em.

I'm going home.

Thanks for stopping by.

Buy a vowel.