21. A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster (第2季)【完整台词】

A few times a year, there was a dedicated day where my school was closed.

This allowed the teachers to catch up on their administrative duties.

While I was normally against a break from learning, I did applaud the Medford faculty's commitment - to our education.

- Oh, man.

- How great is this place without kids in it? - I heard that.

On one of those days, I got to spend time with my mom at her job.

Did you write that? - You betcha.

- Instead of puns, have you considered composing a humorous palindrome? It's a phrase that reads the same backwards as forwards.

For example, "Do geese see God?" Trust me.

Both ways.

Come inside.

Some other good ones are radar, level, kayak.

That's a funny word.

Kayak.

Never get me in one.

So what's the plan? How will I be entertained all day? I thought you could be my little helper.

I prefer executive assistant.

Carries more weight.

Fine.

You stay here, I'm gonna go talk to Pastor Jeff.

Mom.

What? "Mom" is also a palindrome.

M-O-M.

Good morning, Peg.

Any morning you wake up is a good morning.

Okay.

Come in.

Good morn oh, it's dark in here.

Uh-huh.

Everything okay? Mm-hmm.

I need you to use your words.

My marriage is over.

Mm-hmm We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore.

In the '50s, people had separate beds.

Lucy and Ricky did it.

Their marriage worked.

I-I'm sure it's just a rough patch.

Boy, I hope so.

Well, if there's any way I can make your life easier, you let me know.

Thank you, Mary.

I really appreciate it.

Oh, I almost forgot, um, Sheldon's here with me today.

Great.

Hey, little man.

How you doing? You smell like cigarettes.

You're fun.

Do you know what this binder is? It's a record of donations people make to the church.

This data could easily be transferred into a computerized spreadsheet.

Why isn't it? No idea.

You also smell like mothballs and Ben-Gay.

Bye.

I hope you don't mind, I invited Pastor Jeff for dinner.

That's fine.

I was talking to your father.

What's the occasion? No occasion, just thought it'd be nice.

His wife coming, too? No.

Just him.

They having problems? He's just coming to dinner.

That's all.

You two having problems? Are we? No.

Pastor Jeff's wife is so much prettier than him.

It's like Barbie married a turtle.

Hey.

Here's a fun idea: how about you and Sheldon have dinner - at Meemaw's tonight? - All right.

They area weird-looking couple.

You want to eat at my mom's, too? Oh, come on.

You got eyes.

Pastor, would you like to lead us in grace? I'd be honored.

Heavenly Father, thank you for this food.

I pray that it nourishes and strengthens us, and bless Mary for preparing it.

And thank you for the Coopers who have invited me into their loving home.

They are a shining example of what a marriage can be.

One that I hope to have again someday.

Amen.

And please give me the strength Sorry.

The strength to walk this road with unconditional love and joy in my heart.

Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Well, let's eat! - Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Dang, this place is nice.

That's because it was supposed to be a date.

Cool.

My first date.

Meemaw, I've been going through the church records, and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time.

Why are you going through the records? I'm an executive assistant.

- Good for you.

- You see, God and I have a deal.

And when he helps me win big at the casino, I give him a cut.

And lately, he has not been holding up his part of the bargain.

"Steak aw poyverwith fritties"? - It's French.

- Oh.

What's a crock monster? It's croque monsieur, and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham.

I want that.

There's lemon in this water.

So, uh, who do you think the Oilers are gonna take in the draft? Oh, I don't really follow sports.

I'm just gonna eat.