[CORK POPS]
- My God.
- You get it?
Korn, try one of these.
[GROANS]
Good God.
[JOHNNY HODGES "THINGS
AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE"]
They're selling for $3 a bale in London!
That's a 550% markup!
550? That's an interesting number.
You're saying that I'm
buying tomatoes off of you
in this scenario?
Well, what I'm actually saying, sir,
is that for you this time it's
actually an infinity percent
markup because because I'd like you
to have these tomatoes,
sir, to do with as you may!
Well, that's very generous of you,
but I couldn't possibly
take all these tomato
And then of course in the
normal course of business,
I could offer you future shipments
at very attractive rates,
almost at my cost, sir.
So you'd be dropping
from infinity percent
back to 500, 300, thereabouts,
should you wish to participate.
Well, Milo participate?
Participate.
Oh, Milo, commerce isn't exactly my bag.
- I've got a base to ru
- Oh, you'd be a natural, sir.
I got a good eye for these things.
I am planning on building
a couple runways out there
to increase flight
capacity, all that jazz
- but I'm not
- Well, increased flight capacity means
increased profits for those
with the vision to see.
- War is not about profit, son.
- Absolutely, sir.
Not only.
War is about the justs
defeating the unjusts.
It is absolutely that, too, sir.
What about you, son?
Are you enjoying your missions?
I'm proud to be doing my bit, sir.
Yes, indeed.
Thank you for asking.
Good, good.
Good, good.
TEXAN: Are you a Bill Bevens man?
Or are you a Ralph Branca man? Hmm?
Well, let's look at this season.
Bill Bevens has got
an ERA so far of 3.
68.
But his 1944 ERA was 2.
67.
See, you gotta ask
yourself, what happened
to Bill Bevens this year?
Now, Ralph Branca,
his ERA's around three,
but you gotta remember kid's 19, right?
He's just gonna keep getting better.
And Bill Bevens, he's 28.
That elbow's getting tired.
So you're the Yankee's
GM.
What are you gonna do?
How often you gonna relieve him?
Well, who do you got?
You got Tiny Bonham,
you got Spud Chandler
He can't fucking hear you!
We don't even know if
he's alive in there!
- I can hear you.
- I know you can, buddy.
Do we all have to
listen to your bullshit?
- TEXAN: What's your fucking problem?
- You! You're my fucking problem!
- Me? What did I do?
- You won't shut up!
I can't even hear myself think!
This is a fucking hospital!
TEXAN: Yeah, it's a fucking
hospital.
It's not a fucking library!
I'm helping this fuck,
man.
He's trapped in there.
- Where's your humanity?
- Oh, you're bringing him
out of his shell, are you?
- Come on, guys.
- Stay out of it, buddy.
YOSSARIAN: I just want
some peace and quiet.
We all do.
We're all just trying
to fucking convalesce here.
Oh, okay, you've been
elected ward spokesman now,
is that right, numb nuts?
[CLATTERING]
- You want a piece of me?
- Not really.
- Well, you're gonna get one.
- Okay, then.
- Okay, then.
- Great.
Great.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[CLATTERING]
[SHOUTING]
Hey, hey! What is going on here?
Hey! Knock it off!
YOSSARIAN: Ah, I'll kill you!
That's it, Yossarian.
You're out of here!
What?
MAN: Son of a bitch! Let's go!
MAN: Yo-Yo, come on, are we close yet?
MAN: Okay, where we at?
MAN: Clear, 053.
Holding at 3,200.
MAN: You got fire.
Are you okay?
MAN: Yo-Yo, we almost there?
MAN: We're holding.
MAN: Open them up! Open them up!
Fucking Christ.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Jeez!
Ooh, fuck! Ooh, fuck!
MAN: Yeah, we're coming up on it now.
All right, just hold steady right there.
MAN: We're over it now.
We gotta drop.
Let's go.
Open them up.
Coming up on your left, Yossarian.
Are you holding steady?
MAN: We're sitting right
on top of them, Yo-Yo!
Yo-Yo! Drop them, Yo-Yo!
YOSSARIAN: And release.
[PLANE ENGINES ROARING]
[BOOMING]
[MOTORCYCLE PUTTERING]
MAN: Now I push.
- MAN: Okay.
- Forget it.
Fold, I'm out.
- MAN: What?
- MAN: It's fine.
You would've thought I
would've been more of a problem.
[ALL SHOUTING]
- MAN: Come on.
- MAN: Not fair!
MAN: Come on.
Very nice.
Very clean.
Bellissimo.
Leave her alone, Aarfy.
AARFY: I'm just saying,
she's very clean.
What's your name, honey?
Uh, what is it? Qual è il tuo
Um Qual è il tuo nome?
Mi chiamo Michaela.
Michaela.
That's very nice.
Me and you should go for
a walk sometime, Michaela.
MICHAELA: Scusi?
AARFY: We should go for a walk sometime!
You look like Bette Davis.
Oh, give it a rest, Aarfy.
She doesn't understand you.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Gentlemen.
No, no, sit down.
So, how are we?
Enjoying our rest and
recreation in the eternal city?
SAMPSON: Oh, yes, sir.
We are, sir.
DE COVERLY: Oh, what's on the
dance card for this evening?
Uh, Nately lost his mind
to a woman of the night.
[LAUGHTER]
She's, like, the most real person
that I've ever met, Yo-Yo.
NATELY: She tries to speak English.
She gets the words wrong and we laugh.
We just laugh a lot.
[REX STUART'S "MY SUNDAY GAL"]
Yeah, we talked all night.
How does that happen?
You know, I've got this phrase book,
but it's not like I'm
looking at the phrase book
every two seconds.
We just talk.
You know, it's some of her
words.
It's some of my words.
We put them together, and
somehow it all makes sense.
We cuddle.
We fuck, yeah.
[LAUGHS] It's crazy.
She's just, like, a real person.
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