Max, can you watch my tables while I run to the restroom? I already am.
I've been watching model girl pretend she's eating for 30 minutes.
Oh, she's nice.
She always tips on what she would've eaten.
Guess what, everyone? I have a secret.
You're a woman trapped in a man's body? No.
You're a man trapped in a woman's body? You're a little boy trapped in a little girl's body? I am a man in a man's body.
We're not talking about your night life.
I have discovered something when going over the employee applications.
Okay, perhaps I never worked at the Waldorf Astoria, but I did work with this guy, Waldorf, in Astoria.
It's not you.
Tomorrow is Caroline's birthday.
Why wouldn't I know that? She tells me everything about her life.
I know so much about her cycle, I'm feeling pressure to impregnate her.
I can do that for you.
It's weird.
Why wouldn't she want to celebrate her birthday? She celebrates everything.
Heads up, everybody.
I just refilled the paper towels.
Who's a team player? What, what? ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh And the One-Night Stands Original air date February 27, 2012 Max.
You know what we have to do.
Aw, man.
I knew this day would come.
All right, what's the least amount I can do to keep my job? Just tell me when it's over.
And when it starts.
It's time to talk about Caroline's birthday.
You have to throw her a party.
I'd rather you just have your tiny way with me.
I don't like birthdays.
I don't even know when mine is.
My mom narrowed it down to a two-week window in June.
But you are Caroline's BFF.
And it is BFF's job to throw friend a party.
Han, I don't have enough money to throw a party.
I don't even have enough money to throw a baseball.
You have money.
You be her BFF.
I already have a BFF-- Jamarcus.
And my last birthday, he threw me a sick surprise party.
You must think BFF stands for "barely freaking friends", because there's no way you're down with someone named Jamarcus.
Oh, really? Then why did we exchange ATM pin numbers? Oh I'll just crop that, and we'll be good to go.
Max, Edwin's ready to show us the design for our new website.
Come see it.
Dude, you and the webmaster have been talking "business" every day for a week.
Is something going on there? Shouldn't the web be mastered by now? It's strictly business.
All right, but it's costing us $200.
Might as well get something out of it.
Maybe let him browse your Yahoo? Looks like he might have a big ol' hard drive with a lot of ram.
Yeah, he's cute, but I don't want a relationship right now.
And I don't do one-night stands.
All right, so don't stand.
Lay down.
That's not me-- the next morning, doing the walk of shame.
I always see those girls with their messed-up sex hair, carrying their heels, clutching their coats to hide last night's outfit.
Going into Kinko's to use Google maps so you can figure out where you are.
You really put the "ho" in "Kinko.
" Oh.
Sorry, Sophie.
We're closed.
Oh, no.
I'll be quick.
I just want a cupcake to go.
I'm on my way to 24 hour fitness.
Ja, and I put it on the cupcake holder on the treadmill.
Uh, Max, my town car is parked out front and I was wondering if you wanted me to wait for you and Caroline to give you a ride back to our building.
Oh, no.
It's okay.
We still have to clean up and take the garbage out.
Oh.
Oh, looks like the garbage is taking itself out.
The game continues.
Here is my number.
I invite you to call me when you realize what a catch I am.
Or any time you are drunk and willing.
Max, I'm going to need the doggy bag as well.
Not for the cupcake.
To puke in.
So I'll get this finalized, and then I'll stop by the diner tomorrow so you can sign off on the layout before we go live.
This is so exciting.
Oh, wait, Edwin.
Shoot.
I forgot to show you the new pricing chart.
It's cool, I can draft it up right now and upload it when I get home.
Yeah, webmaster.
You work pretty fast.
But I bet you can work slow, too.
And really fast again.
I can be done in a minute.
Ooh, not what you want to hear.
Max.
It's fine.
We can wait.
You know what? You stay here.
I have to go to the store and pick up stuff for your-- my what? Your cupcake business that you're making me do with you.
Get home safe.
Um, hey, where do you live, Edwin? Hell's kitchen.
Oh, cool.
You're going to want to take the "c" down, transfer to the "l," and if you get lost, there's a Kinko's on 6th and 14th.
That's embarrassing.
Max was just trying to-- yeah, I work on complicated web programs.
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